Men Are JUST Giving Women Head? Why? And Since When?!

After he’s done, he gotta towel off and BOUNCE

I had an absolutely HILARIOUS conversation last Friday night with my boy Jason from NYC, and a few of my homegirls from here in Toronto. We were talking about how one of the young ladies was teasing the SH*T out of this guy she has been seeing by inviting him over to her place late night after clubs, just to tell him they AIN’T F*^KIN’ – BUT, he does get the pleasure of cuddling with her. I then remarked that her behaviour was cruel and unusual, like inviting a dude over just to eat the nani without giving him none, to which the girls all gave each other a look, and BUSTED out laughing. Ladies and gentlemen, my virgin ears learned something that night that I thought I would NEVER hear in my lifetime: WOMEN actually have men that come over to do nothing but feast on their loins and go home – with nothing but a toothpick to dislodge the hair in their teeth.

Now as I sat their shocked that this actually happens in real life, I wasn’t emotionally, mentally or spiritually ready for what I heard next: These women weren’t TRICKING these dudes into these arrangements (like a 68 + ‘I owe you one’), but it is actually the MEN themselves who are suggesting that they come over to wine and dine on her clitoris with NO return favour.

THIS. CAN’T. BE. LIFE.

As I sat there shocked and my boy Jason laughed directly in my face for not knowing these arrangements are what’s hot in the streets, my homegirls put there hands up for a high five and after a moment’s pause, I reciprocated and gave them the props [I guess] they deserve. Why? Because I realized the more-than-slight hypocrisy I would have been engaging in had I railed against their actions.

What the HELL was I REALLY gonna say?

“You should be treating these dudes with MUCH more respect than that.”

[Clay Davis] “Shhhhhhhheeeeeeeiiiiittttttt” [/Clay Davis] growing up I remember me and my friends had a term called “Brainer” and that was given to any girl in our school who was down to deepthroat some richard without even needing change to catch the bus back home. At my school “Brainers” were in abundance and we definitely weren’t talking about the nerds with straight-A’s [which also makes me pray that my daughter gets Gabby Douglas-good at gymnastics so I can stick her in that 12 hours a day after school and ruin any chance at a progressive social life, but I digress]. So NO, I am NOT gonna knock these women for accepting oral-only invitations from dudes, but I WOULD suggest they invest in dental dams, cause lord only knows where some of those frowsy dudes tongues, gums and jaws have been.

Men, we GOTTA do better than this. These girls sat at the damn table laughing their ASSES off at us men because y’all let them squirt in your face and got nothing but a beach towel and a dap for your troubles. You went home with a cramped tongue and the only time she opened her mouth was to give your ass directions on how to find the I-95 from her house. Reciprocity is KEY here bruh – y’all lames are making the rest of us look bad, while they prance around happy as hell like this:

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

77 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    08/08/2012 at 2:53 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Have You Heard Ot This And How Long Has This Been Prevalent? Ladies, Have You Had An All- Tongue-Jumpoff Before? Gentlemen, Have You Ever DONE This Before And WHY [Lord, WHY?]

  2. NickcoleTy

    08/08/2012 at 3:00 AM

    LMFAO !!!! THIS BEEN GOING ON !!! IVE BEEN THREATEN BEFORE !! it was not appealing LOL

  3. mmmj

    08/08/2012 at 3:18 AM

    LOL cant lie.. "ladies is pimps too". honestly (in my experience), ive never gone into a situation thinking thats all thats going to happen, or here is my boo who is going to just eat my box. ive gone into a situation thinking "nothing is going to happen/im not f-in him/etc" and next thing you know his face is there and it feels too good to stop. but im still not having sex with him. so yeah, uh its time to go home boo-boo…. thanks though. youre a damn fool for thinking after i TOLD you im not sexing you to go and try. but hey, maybe its just i that can be that stubborn (at times). i dont know, guys try anything. "i just want to make YOU feel good". what if theyre just givers? im all for giving back…and i like to do it, but uh not for just anyone. maybe the two experiences ive had with this are solo special situations cause ive never just had a homeboy be like THIS IS THE DAMN BIZZZZNESSSSSSS, I WANT ONLY THIS FROM YOU. ha. he's a sucker.

    i mean. for me its not an everyday thing, but its happened. and shoot ill be damned if you feel like i OWE you anything.

    but this post was hilarious. thanks for the 3am laugh. niiight linc.

  4. NickcoleTy

    08/08/2012 at 3:25 AM

    Several Occasions…I was talking/ dating this guy who was older than me, I was 19 at the time 23 now, he was 27 and one day he picked me up and we were having a BEAUTIFUL political conversation and he exclaimed I should eat that smart P*#Sy NOW HUH … COMPLETELY Shocked and scared me ! Did i let him… YES but that besides the point LOL… another occasion I live in NYC, the train system can get hectic and a guy went from asking me questions about directions to asking me can he try new techniques he learn because I was sexy : I pulled out MACE Smh lol and one summer hot day while walking a dude screamed out his car he would lick the sweat dripping from my private place and I wouldnt have to pay him LOL SMH … IT REAL OUT HERE LMAO

  5. rivertems

    08/08/2012 at 4:44 AM

    "[Clay Davis] “Shhhhhhhheeeeeeeiiiiittttttt” [/Clay Davis]"
    I died.

  6. Smikez_920

    08/08/2012 at 7:07 AM

    "pushes glasses down, giggles , continue to read newspaper"

    Dudes have been doing this for years. Idk why their so shocked. Sometimes I just don't want no penis, I want to be lazy and pleasured and if there's a good, clean sexy man to do that for me, heck why not. There are grown men who have chicks that they just get head from and never return the favor.

    Onetime I was at a party and this dude goes " damn ma you look mad good i'll eat your pu**y however you want"?then this other guy came out of nowhere and goes " Na forget that nigg@ I eat the pu**y and the ass" : / -_-

  7. John

    08/08/2012 at 9:51 AM

    Eating pussy ain't shit but flexing your tongue muscles as a precursor to fuckin'. If i eat a pussy, you better believe i'm fucking it. Have some some respect for yourselves gentlemen. Furthermore, as a west indian, raised to believe eating pussy is for fools, (i came around, obviously, as i got older) it seriously distresses me that niggas are out here sucking pussy without busting a nut, that shit is unacceptable. Ladies that are guilty of accepting this pleasure, you guys are assholes, and so are we, so kudos, get it how you live.

  8. lincolnanthonyblades

    08/08/2012 at 10:36 AM

    Ladies Is Pimps Too, Apparently:

    <img src="https://twitpic.com/show/iphone/ags8ts"&gt;

  9. Kema

    08/08/2012 at 10:49 AM

    *Raises hand* I would like to make a motion.

    I move to have this become a basic requirement hence forth. Thank you

  10. iamkeishabrown

    08/08/2012 at 11:34 AM

    LOL.

    i would mention that the reverse has been going on and expected/demanded since the beginning of time….but… won't. lol.

    i got nothing else to add – get yours. (and get tested).

  11. @IamSomethngElse

    08/08/2012 at 11:49 AM

    LOL! This is hilarious…yes these men exist. Since becoming celibate I've been told eating doesn't constitute as sex. Needless to say I declined. Herpes is real, chlamydia can be transferred via saliva…no thanks.

  12. MzDebbieFields

    08/08/2012 at 12:15 PM

    FYI: Men are also eating the ass too without even needing as much as a handshake…

  13. Crystals_Back

    08/08/2012 at 12:19 PM

    I can't believe women are subjecting themselves to this torture! How can you be comfortable just getting ate without the long D right after?

  14. Kizzy

    08/08/2012 at 12:33 PM

    Sorry to rain on the hoe-train, but any woman who has men on call to eat them is a hoe.

    That's gross.

  15. Sam

    08/08/2012 at 4:38 PM

    Where did you get that hilarious video from?

    LMAO!!!!

  16. daboo18

    08/09/2012 at 3:19 PM

    Yeah the video was hilarious, i kept staring at it laughing.
    My opinion i wouldnt be comfortable just letting a guy just go down there, especially if i didnt know him very well.
    besides if hes being thirsty trying to eat you out then im sure hes thirsty to them other females trying to do the same.
    No thank you!

  17. Tyrant

    08/09/2012 at 3:51 PM

    Crazy!

  18. krystllyght

    08/09/2012 at 9:34 PM

    Nah, I've never heard of this before. These GIFs today tho are so hilarious!

  19. Pingback: Open Friday: Why The War Between Men and Women? « From Ashy to Classy

  20. Tiz

    08/10/2012 at 3:45 PM

    I just find it interesting about the comments of it being so disgusting and watch out for Chlamydia ..etc, when guys are out there doing the same things and worse. Getting head with no condom from multiple women among other things. If men think this so gross why don't they think of the same consequences when their boy tells them they let a girl he barely knew or cared for go down on him?

    FYI.. I agree it's pretty scary that women AND men are allowing people they don't know to drool on and lick they're genitals. That is the fast track to catching something, but the double standard is astounding and it bother me. lol

  21. w.o.h

    08/10/2012 at 10:59 PM

    My first experience with this “phenomenon” was when I was 19, went to Windsor for school and met many Detroit men who thought that staring women dead in their eye while sticking their tongue in their drink while at the club was a turn on.

    Most women have stories for days. There are men, not just randoms, but those we are involved with or who want to be involved with us who will lick the puss and booty crack for nothing in return.

    Sometimes it’s sooo good the dick ain’t even necessary.

    The question is would I top a man off without getting anything in return? Hell naw.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *