Men Are JUST Giving Women Head? Why? And Since When?!

After he’s done, he gotta towel off and BOUNCE

I had an absolutely HILARIOUS conversation last Friday night with my boy Jason from NYC, and a few of my homegirls from here in Toronto. We were talking about how one of the young ladies was teasing the SH*T out of this guy she has been seeing by inviting him over to her place late night after clubs, just to tell him they AIN’T F*^KIN’ – BUT, he does get the pleasure of cuddling with her. I then remarked that her behaviour was cruel and unusual, like inviting a dude over just to eat the nani without giving him none, to which the girls all gave each other a look, and BUSTED out laughing. Ladies and gentlemen, my virgin ears learned something that night that I thought I would NEVER hear in my lifetime: WOMEN actually have men that come over to do nothing but feast on their loins and go home – with nothing but a toothpick to dislodge the hair in their teeth.

Now as I sat their shocked that this actually happens in real life, I wasn’t emotionally, mentally or spiritually ready for what I heard next: These women weren’t TRICKING these dudes into these arrangements (like a 68 + ‘I owe you one’), but it is actually the MEN themselves who are suggesting that they come over to wine and dine on her clitoris with NO return favour.

THIS. CAN’T. BE. LIFE.

As I sat there shocked and my boy Jason laughed directly in my face for not knowing these arrangements are what’s hot in the streets, my homegirls put there hands up for a high five and after a moment’s pause, I reciprocated and gave them the props [I guess] they deserve. Why? Because I realized the more-than-slight hypocrisy I would have been engaging in had I railed against their actions.

What the HELL was I REALLY gonna say?

“You should be treating these dudes with MUCH more respect than that.”

[Clay Davis] “Shhhhhhhheeeeeeeiiiiittttttt” [/Clay Davis] growing up I remember me and my friends had a term called “Brainer” and that was given to any girl in our school who was down to deepthroat some richard without even needing change to catch the bus back home. At my school “Brainers” were in abundance and we definitely weren’t talking about the nerds with straight-A’s [which also makes me pray that my daughter gets Gabby Douglas-good at gymnastics so I can stick her in that 12 hours a day after school and ruin any chance at a progressive social life, but I digress]. So NO, I am NOT gonna knock these women for accepting oral-only invitations from dudes, but I WOULD suggest they invest in dental dams, cause lord only knows where some of those frowsy dudes tongues, gums and jaws have been.

Men, we GOTTA do better than this. These girls sat at the damn table laughing their ASSES off at us men because y’all let them squirt in your face and got nothing but a beach towel and a dap for your troubles. You went home with a cramped tongue and the only time she opened her mouth was to give your ass directions on how to find the I-95 from her house. Reciprocity is KEY here bruh – y’all lames are making the rest of us look bad, while they prance around happy as hell like this:

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

77 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    08/08/2012 at 2:53 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Have You Heard Ot This And How Long Has This Been Prevalent? Ladies, Have You Had An All- Tongue-Jumpoff Before? Gentlemen, Have You Ever DONE This Before And WHY [Lord, WHY?]

    • Vicky

      08/08/2012 at 9:14 AM

      Lincoln, you cannot be serious?!? It's been going down for a while! However in my day I found most men were all talk just to get your attention.

      One thing is that I cannot say it has ever turned me on to hear a men say they are going to lick or __________ or _________ my nani, especially if I just saw/met you. You are willing to go down without even knowing my name? I don't need your STD infected tongue on my sh*t, please and thank you!

      • MzDebbieFields

        08/08/2012 at 12:11 PM

        These men like to have women squirt on them too!! LMAO

        • ATLienSince82

          08/08/2012 at 3:11 PM

          Fellas are getting R. Kelly'd out here…dayum bruh

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            08/08/2012 at 4:46 PM

            With Nothing In Return? Wow.

          • up4dsn

            08/08/2012 at 8:20 PM

            Yo! That's crazy. My question is this Linc:

            Which of the following are the men who are agreeing to these types of arrangements:

            A) Simps/Suckas
            B) Thirsty Ninjas
            C) Desperate Mofos
            D) All of the Above

            Ladies and Gentlemen…please answer this question for me. Thank you in advance!

          • A Grown Ass Man

            08/08/2012 at 9:32 PM

            I'm Going With D) For A Hunnid..

          • up4dsn

            08/08/2012 at 9:45 PM

            LOL!

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            08/08/2012 at 10:07 PM

            Co-Sign Grown Ass Man!

    • ChloeRayne516

      08/08/2012 at 2:56 PM

      LOL…

      Really??!! Linc, homie you need to get out more. This has been going down for a minute now, and nowadays you got some dudes who are willing to just eat it as an interview'ing process for the psussy in the near future in hopes of knocking it down, but this all depends on how bad he wants that woman though.

      • ATLienSince82

        08/08/2012 at 3:13 PM

        I never knew bout this tomfoolery either and I'm glad I didn't folk

        These lames gettin the wet face for nathan smh

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        08/08/2012 at 4:48 PM

        I Like To Believe I Hang Around Dudes Who Would Never Think That Is Cool. It Would Be Traumatizing To Find Out My Dudes Are On That Tip.

    • @Itsreallytee

      08/08/2012 at 7:58 PM

      I know many guys who just do this. I know one guy who used to BEG me every time we spoke. Its like a drug they just need a hit. I had to help him out cuz the begging was getting to be too much.

      But Linc seriously I can NOT believe you didn't know this has BEEN happening.
      I think men do this to get the foot in the door n hope women will then get comfortable and have sex eventually. But most strike out when they meet a girl that's not gonna budge on that but they still hang on to hope. People can NOT hate on women cuz as you said its just like when men had "brainers" its the same thing.

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        08/08/2012 at 10:08 PM

        I Can Understand Men Doing This To ENTICE Women Into Sex, But We're Talking About Men TURNING DOWN Head/Sex Just To Eat It, Or Being Told They Will NEVER Get To Beat And STILL Continually Coming Over…That's Madness To Me!

        • diaryofanegress

          08/10/2012 at 2:23 PM

          LOL!!!!

  2. NickcoleTy

    08/08/2012 at 3:00 AM

    LMFAO !!!! THIS BEEN GOING ON !!! IVE BEEN THREATEN BEFORE !! it was not appealing LOL

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/08/2012 at 3:03 AM

      Really?? What Happened??

  3. mmmj

    08/08/2012 at 3:18 AM

    LOL cant lie.. "ladies is pimps too". honestly (in my experience), ive never gone into a situation thinking thats all thats going to happen, or here is my boo who is going to just eat my box. ive gone into a situation thinking "nothing is going to happen/im not f-in him/etc" and next thing you know his face is there and it feels too good to stop. but im still not having sex with him. so yeah, uh its time to go home boo-boo…. thanks though. youre a damn fool for thinking after i TOLD you im not sexing you to go and try. but hey, maybe its just i that can be that stubborn (at times). i dont know, guys try anything. "i just want to make YOU feel good". what if theyre just givers? im all for giving back…and i like to do it, but uh not for just anyone. maybe the two experiences ive had with this are solo special situations cause ive never just had a homeboy be like THIS IS THE DAMN BIZZZZNESSSSSSS, I WANT ONLY THIS FROM YOU. ha. he's a sucker.

    i mean. for me its not an everyday thing, but its happened. and shoot ill be damned if you feel like i OWE you anything.

    but this post was hilarious. thanks for the 3am laugh. niiight linc.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/08/2012 at 8:48 AM

      My Pleasure!

  4. NickcoleTy

    08/08/2012 at 3:25 AM

    Several Occasions…I was talking/ dating this guy who was older than me, I was 19 at the time 23 now, he was 27 and one day he picked me up and we were having a BEAUTIFUL political conversation and he exclaimed I should eat that smart P*#Sy NOW HUH … COMPLETELY Shocked and scared me ! Did i let him… YES but that besides the point LOL… another occasion I live in NYC, the train system can get hectic and a guy went from asking me questions about directions to asking me can he try new techniques he learn because I was sexy : I pulled out MACE Smh lol and one summer hot day while walking a dude screamed out his car he would lick the sweat dripping from my private place and I wouldnt have to pay him LOL SMH … IT REAL OUT HERE LMAO

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/08/2012 at 8:49 AM

      Those Stories Remind Me How Easily Chlamydia Is Spread. Yuck!

      • NickcoleTy

        08/10/2012 at 2:58 AM

        HA LOL ! the first was a dude I was Involved with … the other 2 NEVER went down ! I was threatened…. Thank You

    • @Itsreallytee

      08/08/2012 at 7:53 PM

      L M A O hahahhahahahahaAaa

  5. rivertems

    08/08/2012 at 4:44 AM

    "[Clay Davis] “Shhhhhhhheeeeeeeiiiiittttttt” [/Clay Davis]"
    I died.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/08/2012 at 8:47 AM

      Wire Fans Stand Up!

  6. Smikez_920

    08/08/2012 at 7:07 AM

    "pushes glasses down, giggles , continue to read newspaper"

    Dudes have been doing this for years. Idk why their so shocked. Sometimes I just don't want no penis, I want to be lazy and pleasured and if there's a good, clean sexy man to do that for me, heck why not. There are grown men who have chicks that they just get head from and never return the favor.

    Onetime I was at a party and this dude goes " damn ma you look mad good i'll eat your pu**y however you want"?then this other guy came out of nowhere and goes " Na forget that nigg@ I eat the pu**y and the ass" : / -_-

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/08/2012 at 8:50 AM

      And You Replied…?

      • Vicky

        08/08/2012 at 9:09 AM

        "upstairs 10 minutes!" LOL! Just kidding Smilez! :)

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          08/08/2012 at 10:35 AM

          Hilarious!

        • MzDebbieFields

          08/08/2012 at 12:12 PM

          That's what I would have said!

          • Vicky

            08/08/2012 at 12:15 PM

            Why doesn't that surprise me?

          • Crystals_Back

            08/08/2012 at 12:20 PM

            Shade!

          • Vicky

            08/08/2012 at 12:31 PM

            *shrugs shoulders* :-)

          • ATLienSince82

            08/08/2012 at 3:14 PM

            Goddayum! Vicky back on her bullshit lol

          • Vicky

            08/08/2012 at 3:21 PM

            Miss me ATL??? LOL

    • @ThatsLooon

      08/08/2012 at 9:11 AM

      wow what did you say???

    • iluvwhoiluv

      08/08/2012 at 9:34 AM

      What happened next? Inquiring minds want to know…

      • Smilez_920

        08/08/2012 at 9:50 AM

        I was actually scared shitless being that these guys tried to circle around me.I just grabbed my friend and tried to find my other guy friend as quick as possible. The thing is I've seen girls banter back and forth with these types of dudes that yell those phrase in the street and give him their number.

        I don't do strange Tounge lol. That's how you get a blue muffin ( google that term at your own Risk)

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          08/08/2012 at 10:36 AM

          I Now REFUSE To Google That Term!

  7. John

    08/08/2012 at 9:51 AM

    Eating pussy ain't shit but flexing your tongue muscles as a precursor to fuckin'. If i eat a pussy, you better believe i'm fucking it. Have some some respect for yourselves gentlemen. Furthermore, as a west indian, raised to believe eating pussy is for fools, (i came around, obviously, as i got older) it seriously distresses me that niggas are out here sucking pussy without busting a nut, that shit is unacceptable. Ladies that are guilty of accepting this pleasure, you guys are assholes, and so are we, so kudos, get it how you live.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/08/2012 at 10:37 AM

      Last Sentence Is 100% Truth. Hilarious!

  8. lincolnanthonyblades

    08/08/2012 at 10:36 AM

    Ladies Is Pimps Too, Apparently:

    <img src="https://twitpic.com/show/iphone/ags8ts"&gt;

    • iamkeishabrown

      08/08/2012 at 11:34 AM

      this gif…. LMFAOOOOOOOOO

      • ATLienSince82

        08/08/2012 at 3:15 PM

        Hilary looked a little scared when ol gurl dropped it low on her doe

    • MzDebbieFields

      08/08/2012 at 12:13 PM

      OMG!! No way is that Hillary Clinton!!!

      Is it????

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        08/08/2012 at 4:49 PM

        It Sure Is!

  9. Kema

    08/08/2012 at 10:49 AM

    *Raises hand* I would like to make a motion.

    I move to have this become a basic requirement hence forth. Thank you

    • MzDebbieFields

      08/08/2012 at 12:13 PM

      YASSSSS!!!

  10. iamkeishabrown

    08/08/2012 at 11:34 AM

    LOL.

    i would mention that the reverse has been going on and expected/demanded since the beginning of time….but… won't. lol.

    i got nothing else to add – get yours. (and get tested).

    • Crystals_Back

      08/08/2012 at 12:18 PM

      I respect women who can do this because I can't….I will need hours of the D after some good head!

  11. @IamSomethngElse

    08/08/2012 at 11:49 AM

    LOL! This is hilarious…yes these men exist. Since becoming celibate I've been told eating doesn't constitute as sex. Needless to say I declined. Herpes is real, chlamydia can be transferred via saliva…no thanks.

    • MzDebbieFields

      08/08/2012 at 12:14 PM

      Oral isn't breaking celibacy so you should let him have a snack if he can't enjoy the full feast!

      • @IamSomethngElse

        08/08/2012 at 1:05 PM

        Noooooo! Celibacy to me means no sex so oral sex is included. Plus I know my body and I'd want more and next thing ya know bye bye celibacy. No snacking allowed here lol

  12. MzDebbieFields

    08/08/2012 at 12:15 PM

    FYI: Men are also eating the ass too without even needing as much as a handshake…

    • Kizzy

      08/08/2012 at 12:28 PM

      TMI…

  13. Crystals_Back

    08/08/2012 at 12:19 PM

    I can't believe women are subjecting themselves to this torture! How can you be comfortable just getting ate without the long D right after?

    • Vicky

      08/08/2012 at 12:25 PM

      That's the next thing! Thank you for putting it out there!

    • @IamSomethngElse

      08/08/2012 at 1:08 PM

      I knew a guy years ago and that's all he wanted to do. I then learned later in life tht men who aren't endowed or have performance issues use head as a blinder and are particularly talented at it. You're so mesmerized by the head that you fail to realize you didn't get head or that its not his thumb penetrating you afterwards.

      • ATLienSince82

        08/08/2012 at 3:24 PM

        Damn a brotha can't be both?

    • Smilez_920

      08/08/2012 at 2:18 PM

      Lol it depends if a women is dead tired but wants to bust one just head is perfect. Or it's a good quickie tease. Have your man meet you on your lunch break get some head then bounce, have him hard all day thinking about get in that cat.

      Other than that good head should follow great D.

      • ATLienSince82

        08/08/2012 at 3:24 PM

        You gotta have a lot of faith in yo man to let him walk around hard all day

  14. Kizzy

    08/08/2012 at 12:33 PM

    Sorry to rain on the hoe-train, but any woman who has men on call to eat them is a hoe.

    That's gross.

    • Kema

      08/08/2012 at 1:30 PM

      Bite me

      • Kizzy

        08/08/2012 at 1:49 PM

        No.

      • ATLienSince82

        08/08/2012 at 3:23 PM

        It's a cold world out hurr!

    • fourpageletter

      08/08/2012 at 11:23 PM

      wait.
      she's being honest about her sexual wants. and he's a consenting adult making a decision.
      how is she the hoe?
      and please tell me you'd say the same about men who have a boat load of chicks ready willing and able to suck his dix?

      • Vicky

        08/09/2012 at 7:50 PM

        Kizzy is in her own world

  15. Sam

    08/08/2012 at 4:38 PM

    Where did you get that hilarious video from?

    LMAO!!!!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      08/08/2012 at 10:09 PM

      My New E-Addiction: Tumblr!

  16. daboo18

    08/09/2012 at 3:19 PM

    Yeah the video was hilarious, i kept staring at it laughing.
    My opinion i wouldnt be comfortable just letting a guy just go down there, especially if i didnt know him very well.
    besides if hes being thirsty trying to eat you out then im sure hes thirsty to them other females trying to do the same.
    No thank you!

  17. Tyrant

    08/09/2012 at 3:51 PM

    Crazy!

  18. krystllyght

    08/09/2012 at 9:34 PM

    Nah, I've never heard of this before. These GIFs today tho are so hilarious!

  19. Pingback: Open Friday: Why The War Between Men and Women? « From Ashy to Classy

  20. Tiz

    08/10/2012 at 3:45 PM

    I just find it interesting about the comments of it being so disgusting and watch out for Chlamydia ..etc, when guys are out there doing the same things and worse. Getting head with no condom from multiple women among other things. If men think this so gross why don't they think of the same consequences when their boy tells them they let a girl he barely knew or cared for go down on him?

    FYI.. I agree it's pretty scary that women AND men are allowing people they don't know to drool on and lick they're genitals. That is the fast track to catching something, but the double standard is astounding and it bother me. lol

  21. w.o.h

    08/10/2012 at 10:59 PM

    My first experience with this “phenomenon” was when I was 19, went to Windsor for school and met many Detroit men who thought that staring women dead in their eye while sticking their tongue in their drink while at the club was a turn on.

    Most women have stories for days. There are men, not just randoms, but those we are involved with or who want to be involved with us who will lick the puss and booty crack for nothing in return.

    Sometimes it’s sooo good the dick ain’t even necessary.

    The question is would I top a man off without getting anything in return? Hell naw.

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