Men, You NEVER Have To LIE To Get Nani In 2012

“Yeah baby….you know you’re wifey! *cough* tonight…”

Ladies and gentlemen, do you wanna hear a JOKE? A joke I heard last night that made me LAUGH my ass off? I have a boy who got his sorry-ass KICKED by his “lady-friend” last night because she found out he was trying to run some ol’ 1997′”How To Be A Player” game on her by constantly telling her she’s his wifey [which he NEVER wanted] while playing her behind her back with a bag of jump-offs. The fact that she kicked the Wet & Wavy activator gel right off his dome-piece wasn’t even the FUNNIEST part – it’s the fact that she NEVER really wanted much from his sorry-ass other than richard right from the jump.

Does anyone else see how HILARIOUS that situation is? He LIED to get in her pants by promising her dreams of relationship-bliss, when all she EVER really wanted was richard, but got into the relationship with him thinking that’s what HE WANTED and what SHE NEEDED to do in order to get that Big O she was craving from him. They BOTH simultaneously screwed each other, but I have to give him the majority of the blame in this scenario because he offered up the ORIGINAL lie of stating he wants a relationship from her. My boy is an IDIOT because he doesn’t realize that in 2012, a man NEVER has to LIE to any woman to engage in a friends with benefits or cut-buddies friendship.

Dudes, listen, this is NOT back in the days when women were wholly and completely sexually subjugated in every way, shape and form in our male dominated society. Hell, 50 years ago single women couldn’t talk about about getting squirtastic orgasms – PERIOD. In fact, MARRIED women couldn’t even brag about getting that Good D unless it was attached to her discussing conceiving a child. You think Wilma Flinstone could’ve ever talked about Fred “beatin’ that thang up like a boulder at the quarry”? Do you think Betty could’ve done the buss-it baby slow whine after laying it down on Barney in that cold, rock bed? HELL NAW.

The way society was set-up, women weren’t supported in ANY pursuit of sexual satisfaction UNLESS it came within the confines of a marriage. Now you can debate whether or not that’s a good or bad thing, but the fact is women have MUCH more autonomy in their personal lives than other before – which leads me to THIS point: Because grown-ass women are capable of making mature decisions about what they want to do with their bodies, it is VERY possible to find a woman who wants the SAME casual-relationship as YOU do. So PLEASE go and find THOSE women and STOP subjecting women to your unnecessary and lame GAME. Be straight up with the casual women and they will deal with you because they DON’T want drama in their lives either, and be honest with the more serious women so they can politely decline your straight-forward advance and point you in the direction of a woman more suited to your needs.

“Negro I ain’t tryin’ to hear all that relationship BS! Boy bye!”

See, a win-win for everyone.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.