Ok people, I PROMISE this is the LAST Chad & Evelyn-inspired post I’ll write for a LONG time, but it’s rare that one terrible relationship can be SO bad that it spawns all kinds of magical relationship-blogging material. Today’s post was particularly influenced by a Facebook conversation I had with a homegirl yesterday. Her take away from this Chad & Evelyn debacle is that Evelyn SCREWED herself over by allowing him to get to see “too much” of her too fast. In her opinion, Evelyn should have done a MUCH better job of concealing her craziness from him until much deeper into the relationship. I am here to tell you that is complete BS.
The biggest problem with relationships is what I refer to as the “After-Honeymoon Phase.” This is the part of the relationship that occurs after the initial hype of the relationship dies down and you start to see the person you’re dating for who they TRULY are. It’s at THIS point when that person’s negative qualities start arising and the relationship starts to take a turn for the worse, because you find yourself in a relationship you never signed up for, dating a person you never signed up to be with. And all of this occurred because you both decided it was more important to be FAKE and inauthentic, than keeping it real about who you BOTH really were.
Let’s be honest about something, when you meet someone for the first time and you decide to start dating that person, you greet them with a representative. A caricature of yourself who is much more respectful, likeable, and willing to acquiesce to your date’s demands.
Then you find yourself in a relationship with this person and you are all about doing whatever you can to please them because you feel blessed and honoured to have their heart and their mind, plus you get A LOT of sweaty, multiple-orgasmic, leg-can’t-stop-shaking sex. Everything is RIGHT with the world, and you are riding on an emotional high that is keeping you acting like a decent person.
And then the honeymoon ends – and your true frowziness becomes apparent. At the beginning he was all about taking her out to eat – even on Sundays knowing he would miss about 11 football games, but he DID it to make her happy. NOW he will damn near CUSS her out if she even MENTIONS the idea of leaving the house on a Sunday, whether it’s to buy some new flowers for the garden, or if it’s to take her to the ER for her broken leg [“B*tch you can’t wait ’til half time?! Yo’ leg ain’t getting MORE broke!”]
And ladies, you aren’t much BETTER after the honeymoon phase ends. First you use to tease him about how he left his clothes on the ground and left the seat up, but now you feel like cutting a ninja for not acting right. Then you guys start to fight all the time, and you really debate whether it’s worth STRUGGLING for the relationship, when the truth is, if you were both more AUTHENTIC from jump street, you wouldn’t be in this position.
The reason I say MORE crazy equals a better chance the relationship has, is because the LESS you hide of yourself [including all of your intrinsic flaws] the more opportunity your date has of knowing exactly what they are getting into. If your date SEES your perceived cons right from the beginning, when they CHOOSE to start a relationship with you, there will be LITTLE to NO surprises, so after the honeymoon phase is over, you are left with the same person you originally feel in love with.
This Is Your Conscience