The Most Confusing Relationship Ever: Ms. Something & Mr. Nothing

All of us are far too familiar with the dynamic of this relationship: the girl who is intelligent, beautiful, fine as all-hell, ambitious, productive and motivated to do something positive with her life a.k.a. Ms. Something, ends up dating a dude who flat out doesn’t deserve her for a myriad of reasons a.k.a. Mr. Nothing. Now this is NOT about women dating thugs, bad boys and gangsters, it’s about the TRUTH behind why so many women take CHANCES on guys who don’t give ANY real effort – just to end up regretting it in the end.

Ladies, how many times have you [or one of your girls] been in a relationship where the guy simply gave little to no effort but for some reason that NEVER destroyed the relationship, though it destroyed your emotional stability? Everyday Ms. Something’s go about their lives putting their man first, catering to him, and trying to be everything he could possibly want, need and desire – only to get a half-a*sed, noncommittal and aloof response back.

Ms. Something: “Baby, I think we should go away this summer and take a trip. I can buy the tickets with my discount at work and we can fly wherever we want!”

Mr. Nothing: “We’ll see. I gotta check my work schedule first.”

Ms. Something: “But you’re unemployed…”

Mr. Nothing: “B*tch you was just waiting to throw that in a nigga’s face huh?”

Now let me be very clear with the first part of my point: Ms. Something is an IDIOT who grasps at useless straws of a relationship because she somehow believes she doesn’t deserve better. Yes, she IS an IDIOT, and for all the positive qualities she has, she is missing the simple skill of recognizing the obvious – he gives NOTHING because ultimately he want’s NOTHING from your relationship. The most simple truism of relationships can be summed up in the far too overused quote: ‘When a man wants you there’s nothing that can keep him away, and if he doesn’t want you there’s nothing that can make him stay.”

With that said Ms. Something, stop calling your friends asking for relationship advice when the only advice anyone can give is the only piece of advice you’re NOT willing to take – leave him. Ms. Something, refrain from engaging in the same arguments with your man over why he can’t magically transform out of Mr. Nothing, because the fact is, he simply will NEVER be YOUR Mr. Something because he simply can NOT give himself to you like that.

Which brings me to my second point: Mr. Nothing is a genuine, 100% A*SHOLE. Mr. Nothing is a selfish, self-interested, egomaniac who has little to no ACTUAL compassion for what happens to other people, including his woman – and she will feel the BRUNT of it. Mr. Nothing is easy to spot because he doesn’t return your phone calls or texts, and if he does he does them HOURS/DAYS after you sent it to him. He is open for business from other women whether he proactively tries to get it in with them, or they flock to him. In general, Mr. Nothing has concluded he will NOT give anything to Ms. Something and can’t wait to end the relationship and get his Keyser Soze on – “and like that – he’s gone.”

Now Ladies, please don’t confuse Mr. Underachiever with Mr. Nothing. Mr. Underachiever is the man who TRIES to fulfill your needs but falls short, Mr. Nothing is the dude who couldn’t give a DAMN about what you’re going through and will never give you the effort you feel you deserve. The most confusing aspect of this relationship can be boiled down into one simple question: What’s the point of holding out to date a quality man if the man you find is uninterested in being with you?

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.