When Your Lover Shows You Who They Really Are – BELIEVE Them

“Naw, just tell me ONE more time how you accidentally tripped, and fell d*ck-first into that b*tch..”

Earlier today, I found out the HILARIOUS news that Ochocinco and crazy-ass Evelyn were about to break Kim K’s world-record for shortest marriage span in 2012, after Evelyn announced she has filed divorce papers to get the HELL away from Chad. When this news broke it was very funny to hear people’s reactions: Gold-diggers were mad at Evelyn’s punk-ass for not sticking around longer to collect more, decent women wanted to give Chad the Ike Turner treatment and men complained about chad “deserving better” than Evelyn’s everywhere-including-the-road rage. THAT last statement I definitely DISAGREE with. Chad doesn’t deserve ANY better than what he got in Evelyn because she SHOWED him who she TRULY was all throughout their dating process – and he STILL decided to put a ring on it.

Yesterday I wrote about Emotional Dishonesty and how some people will PRETEND to love you, have YOU love them, and advance the seriousness of the relationship all the way to marriage, even though they aren’t keeping it real with how they really feel. We know those douchebags are out there, but on the OTHER end of the spectrum, there are people who are open books about their lives – and their books are more BASIC than Dr. Seuss (and sometimes more RATCHET than Karrine Steffans autobiography). THIS is the end of the spectrum that Evelyn Lozada lived in, but MUCH more importantly that’s the side that many of OUR girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, wives and fiancés live on in terms of being OPEN-BOOKS and we often OVERLOOK those issues because we hate to believe them.

I know women who date men who are aloof towards them, neglect them, treat them with little to no respect and use the sh*t out of them – but if you ask her what’s good, she can make EVERY excuse in the book for his actions. She can run down a million and one reasons why it’s NOT her man’s fault that he got ARRESTED again, or CAN’T keep a job, or is unwilling to honour their monogamy and it ALL comes down to one main issue: He’s CLEARLY showing who he is, but she REFUSES to believe that’s ACTUALLY what he’s made of.

I know COUNTLESS dudes who date women who CAN’T be faithful to them, can’t give him his due respect as a good man, and act like crazy, insecure, trifling BEEYOTCHES – but ol’ dude can invent every and any excuse under the sun to legitimize her behaviour [plus she probably got that snapper]. What it boils down to is the fact that she is being CLEAR about who she is, but he just REFUSES to acknowledge that she really IS the DOUCHE he hopes she’s not.

You REALLY didn’t know your girl was crazy when you called her to tell her that you would miss her Bday party because your momma tripped and fell down a flight of metal stairs and she responded with:

And this is my perspective on Chad & Evelyn, as well as anyone else trying to date and find love in this world. We are ALL inherently worthy of finding love from someone who honours us with the same affection and care that we are willing to bestow upon them. BUT we don’t DESERVE a damn thing if we ACCEPT their continued frowziness all throughout dating, the engagement and the marriage. Hell if you keep dating someone after seeing they are an insufferable jackass with no redeeming qualities, at that point you DESERVE the pain and heartbreak you are about to endure.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

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