The reality of the world we live in today is that communication has become more streamlined and impersonal than ever before and now breaking up over text message and BBM is not only a regular occurrance, it’s not even out of the norm anymore. BUT you know that would still make you a douchebag, so you need to AT LEAST try to say it in person – and for those of you charismatically-challenged here are a list of songs that do it for you.
Are you in a relationship right now, but you feel you need a break [“i.e. time alone to feel what other nani/richard has to offer] but you want to let your partner down in a way that leaves your trifling-a*s a little room to wiggle yourself back into their beds? Well this one is for you…
1) Donnell Jones – Where I Wanna Be
Are you dating a clingy-bastard who just won’t get the message that you don’t want their punk-a*s no more? You go 3 months without calling them and when you say you were “busy” and they STILL buy it? Want to send a message that they CAN’T refute? Bring GOD Into it…”God will give you someone much better than me..” Classic material.
2) Chris Brown – Just Fine
So your Extenze pills didn’t achieve their desired affect, and she ended up laying underneath your boy who use to come over to the house in a wife beater looking like Tyson Beckford while you walked around the house looking like 50 Tyson and now you’re bitter huh? Well here’s one for you.
3) Uncle Sam – I Don’t Ever Wanna See You Again
Are you finally sick and tired of being in a “committed” relationship but somehow “mysteriously” keep getting crabs and the clap every two weeks? Feel like you can do bad and apply your herpes cream all by yourself? I got’cha.
4) Changing Faces – G.H.E.T.T.O.U.T.
You get to hit it the first date? Then on the second date you feel like Robin Harris because apparently this trifling-bastard decided it was time to tell you about all their Bebe’s Kids they have and they are “seperated” (which is a fancy way for married people to get it in but not be officially cheating)…Tell them to take their recycled Captain Planet richard/nani and keep it as FAR away from you as possible like this..
5) Carl Thomas – I Wish
Now we all know what its like to be in a BS relationship just biding your time until someone better comes along, and after you finally met someone new and learned they aren’t crazy as hell, it’s time to let that frowsy-excuse of a partner you been dragging around since two-thousand-and-how-long and play them this…
6) The Manhattans – Kiss And Say Good Bye
Now this one might be my favourite, and if you are an avid watcher of the show The Game, you know ALL about this song. In the words of Malik “This is not a love song, it’s a THREAT”
7) Bobby Womack – If You Think You’re Lonely Now
Ladies you should take advantage of this next song, since so many of you fall for a guy fast, and then get nervous as hell because things are moving too fast and feel like you need to ex-communicate his a*s from your life before things get out of control…just press play..
8) Bitty Mclean – Walk Away From Love
Personally, all that to the left, to the left BS is good for single women to pat themselves on the back AFTER you kicked his sorry-a*s to the curb, but if you really want to drop that ether into a dude’s heart and possibly bring HIM to tears, just calmly show him you MOVED on and its FINAL. That bottom lip gonna start to quiver like a child that just got one hard lick in the back for acting up in church.
9) Beyonce – Me, Myself & I
And if you find out her STANK-A*S cheated on you…leave this on her PARENT’S HOUSE-PHONE VOICEMAIL..
10) Ghostface Killa – Wildflower
Tom DuBois – Let It Burn
This Is Your Conscience