Ladies, let it be known that I am all for giving any sort of relationship insight I can offer. I am ALWAYS quick to mention that my insight is always meant to be more REAL than it is HELPFUL, and that I would rather help you delve into asking YOURSELF serious questions than even giving solid insight in the first place. But I do have ONE request for any woman who wants to ask me anything: If your relationship question is ANYTHING like “he tells me one thing, but doesn’t act like it” please SPARE ME THE BULLSH*T, because he’s LYING – and you damn well know that just as much as I do.
I had a homegirl once tell me, “Lincoln, I really want to take a guy serious and be in a serious relationship with him, but men are such good liars that they can tell you one thing and then when they get what they want, they bounce faster than negroes in a club that just got shot up.” And I looked at her and asked her one simple question: “But how does that man REALLY treat you?”
I don’t care HOW good of a liar a man is, his true intentions can NOT be hidden by his physical behaviour for an extended period of time. It is damn-near IMPOSSIBLE to pull off. As much as dude can tell you that you are WIFE-material and he foresees putting a ring on your finger someday soon, the reality of the situation is if he REALLY sees you as WIFE-material he will treat you as such on a daily basis, because as the saying goes, if a man truly wants you there is nothing that can keep him away from you. And if that man says he foresees putting a ring on your finger, ask yourself if he is treating you as such. Does he include you in his long-term life plans? Does he make strides everyday to provide a better situation for you two? If he’s not ACTING like it, chances are he’s simply LYING to your ass.
He doesn’t REALLY think you are Wife-Material if he only calls you every other weekend to meet up a hotel downtown to get it in and then slinks back to hiding like Osama. That dude doesn’t want to put a ring on YOUR finger if after months maybe years of dating, and you STILL haven’t met his friends, mama, co-workers or his Japanese Fighting Fish – you are just a glorified side piece – but the WORST part is that you KNOW this ladies. You see something is clearly up, and that’s why you ask me, your girlfriend’s, your pastor and Wendy Williams for relationship advice, because you are really just hoping we help assuage your concerns by telling you ‘girl you crazy, he loves you and you just stressing over nothing’ and when we DON’T say that, you just move on to the next person hoping for “advice” that will lessen the sting of the truth: You’ve been LIED to and you know you are STUPID for buying it.
Most of the women who read this will be over the age of 15 so I can confidently say you fall under the category of “Fool me once, shame on you; Fool me twice, shame on me.” But don’t feel TOO bad ladies, because men are JUST as stupid when it comes to willfully ignoring these simple signs. How many DUMB-ASS dudes do you know who persistently chase down women who don’t want them, or women who aren’t good for them or women who’ve done them wrong all under her mask of deceit that we ALL seem to see but these men just CAN’T? A LOT.
I, in no way, shape or form, take any pleasure from seeing someone really going through some tough-ass times in their relationship, but at some point we need to realize that ending the suffering should NOT be dependent on the liar cleaning up their life [as that may NEVER happen] but just on the person who’s being lied to, to open their damn eyes and listen to that part of their brain that is trying to warn them to run from this situation/person. Run FAST as hell.
This Is Your Conscience