Growing up, there was one term that I only heard once in a blue moon, but every-single-time I heard it, I almost DIED of laughter: “Community Freak.” The first time I heard this term was back in the late 90′s when I was chilling in a Jamaican Record Shop on a strip of Toronto called Eglinton West [well known for being a West Indian neighbourhood], and there was this old dread inside the store talking about “loose gyal” and bruh, he had TEARS coming out of my eyes with his rant. It basically started with “Di ONGLE Foxy Brown mi know addi one weh sing ‘SORRY’ suh whichever one unnu ah talk ’bout a one big SKETTEL! Di gyal a BUS – she big, outta orda, musty and carry one bag a man in har big AIR OUT HOLE!” For the non-Jamaicans, allow me to translate: “The rapper Foxy Brown is a skank, and I’m nicknaming her BUS, because she’s large, loud, frowsy and sleeps with a lot of men to the point where her vagina has lost all of it’s elasticity.” This is what he called a COMMUNITY FREAK – and being older, I realize that his joke actually had some substance to it.
See, the important part was how the rant ended: “Trust mi my yute, unnu h-ignore di gyal a sit inna di back of di classroom and get alla straight-A’s so unnu can chase the one big batty gyal inna dunce cap! Yuh feel-seh di smart one must be one boring gyal, but trust mi, dem ‘ave EVERYTING yuh coulda want and the next gyal a one-big POPPY-SHOW!” Once again, for the non-Jamaicans, he said: “Listen young men, stop ignoring the girl who is sitting at the back of the classroom accumulating good grades, to run down the girl with the nice body who is going no where scholastically. You may think that smart girl is boring, but she actually will prove to be much more fun than the stupid-but-sexy girl, because she hides the strengths of her character, while the other girl puts everything out there as a show with little to no real substance behind it.”
And he was 100% right – it’s just TOO bad most of us were too young and ignorant to really heed the strength of his message. But if there’s one thing I’ve realized at my age now, after dating A LOT of women, it’s that the Community Freak is OVERRATED in EVERY aspect – even at being a FREAK.
A community freak is just a woman who puts her FREAKINESS on display for the entire WORLD to see while simultaneously having NO concept of self-degradation. Some women may identify her as sex-positive, but for me, I draw the line at maintaining some semblance of self-respect. You can be a sex-positive woman WITHOUT entering wet T-shirt contests and booty-clapping tournaments. A community freak is the woman who puts it ALL out there, leaves NOTHING to the imagination and openly brags about her abilities – which are OVERHYPED. Basically, 65% of the big-booty-small-shorts teg-a-regs on Instagram.
But what I really want to focus on is the all-around greatness of what we referred to as “Dream Girls” because they leave SO MUCH up to the imagination.
They don’t openly tell you about WHEN or even IF you will be hooking up with them. Their bodies are NOT all out in the open, so you DON’T know what their uterus looks like before the first date, and they didn’t BRAG about their bedroom abilities – but they might SHOW you if you are worth it to THEM. The woman with substance, style, class, self-respect, intelligence, common-sense, grace and a perfectly acute sense of humour. Believe it or not, but THIS is the woman that actually tends to bring more PASSION, LUST and overall SKILL to every aspect of the relationship than the community-freak – even in the bedroom.
So next time you hear a dude lambasting a woman for seeming “too boring” just remind him that there’s MUCH more than meets the eye – so don’t underrate the nani-whine of the “Nice” girl.
This Is Your Conscience