“Community Freaks” Are OVERRATED

Growing up, there was one term that I only heard once in a blue moon, but every-single-time I heard it, I almost DIED of laughter: “Community Freak.” The first time I heard this term was back in the late 90′s when I was chilling in a Jamaican Record Shop on a strip of Toronto called Eglinton West [well known for being a West Indian neighbourhood], and there was this old dread inside the store talking about “loose gyal” and bruh, he had TEARS coming out of my eyes with his rant. It basically started with “Di ONGLE Foxy Brown mi know addi one weh sing ‘SORRY’ suh whichever one unnu ah talk ’bout a one big SKETTEL! Di gyal a BUS – she big, outta orda, musty and carry one bag a man in har big AIR OUT HOLE!” For the non-Jamaicans, allow me to translate: “The rapper Foxy Brown is a skank, and I’m nicknaming her BUS, because she’s large, loud, frowsy and sleeps with a lot of men to the point where her vagina has lost all of it’s elasticity.” This is what he called a COMMUNITY FREAK – and being older, I realize that his joke actually had some substance to it.

See, the important part was how the rant ended: “Trust mi my yute, unnu h-ignore di gyal a sit inna di back of di classroom and get alla straight-A’s so unnu can chase the one big batty gyal inna dunce cap! Yuh feel-seh di smart one must be one boring gyal, but trust mi, dem ‘ave EVERYTING yuh coulda want and the next gyal a one-big POPPY-SHOW!” Once again, for the non-Jamaicans, he said: “Listen young men, stop ignoring the girl who is sitting at the back of the classroom accumulating good grades, to run down the girl with the nice body who is going no where scholastically. You may think that smart girl is boring, but she actually will prove to be much more fun than the stupid-but-sexy girl, because she hides the strengths of her character, while the other girl puts everything out there as a show with little to no real substance behind it.”

And he was 100% right – it’s just TOO bad most of us were too young and ignorant to really heed the strength of his message. But if there’s one thing I’ve realized at my age now, after dating A LOT of women, it’s that the Community Freak is OVERRATED in EVERY aspect – even at being a FREAK.

A community freak is just a woman who puts her FREAKINESS on display for the entire WORLD to see while simultaneously having NO concept of self-degradation. Some women may identify her as sex-positive, but for me, I draw the line at maintaining some semblance of self-respect. You can be a sex-positive woman WITHOUT entering wet T-shirt contests and booty-clapping tournaments. A community freak is the woman who puts it ALL out there, leaves NOTHING to the imagination and openly brags about her abilities – which are OVERHYPED. Basically, 65% of the big-booty-small-shorts teg-a-regs on Instagram.

But what I really want to focus on is the all-around greatness of what we referred to as “Dream Girls” because they leave SO MUCH up to the imagination.

They don’t openly tell you about WHEN or even IF you will be hooking up with them. Their bodies are NOT all out in the open, so you DON’T know what their uterus looks like before the first date, and they didn’t BRAG about their bedroom abilities – but they might SHOW you if you are worth it to THEM. The woman with substance, style, class, self-respect, intelligence, common-sense, grace and a perfectly acute sense of humour. Believe it or not, but THIS is the woman that actually tends to bring more PASSION, LUST and overall SKILL to every aspect of the relationship than the community-freak – even in the bedroom.

So next time you hear a dude lambasting a woman for seeming “too boring” just remind him that there’s MUCH more than meets the eye – so don’t underrate the nani-whine of the “Nice” girl.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

14 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    09/21/2012 at 5:50 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, IS It Just Me, Or Are Community Freaks Overrated As Hell? Also, Are There MALE Community Freaks?! And If So, Are They Equally Overrated Or Are Nice-Boys Really Wack, Especially In Bed?

  2. petersburgh

    09/21/2012 at 6:39 AM

    I don't do community freaks so personally I wouldn't know but from what I've heard, most of them are. When it comes to bedroom greatness, I assume nothing. When or if it happens, then I can draw my own conclusions. Talk was always cheap to me in any aspect so I just listen to the rants and smile. I know a lot of men boast about how good they are and then the women come back and tell me he ain't shit and while I laugh at his idiotic boasting, I don't look at sex the way most people do so I couldn't judge anyway. My thing is let your actions speak for you and then those who get it would feel privileged

    • iluvwhoiluv

      09/21/2012 at 11:24 AM

      I would say something, but petersburgh covered it all, so I'll just co-sign on him!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      09/21/2012 at 1:48 PM

      I never understood the need to talk more than prove??

  3. BADDEST

    09/21/2012 at 11:15 AM

    There certainly are male community freaks but they dont advertise the same way.
    Women….for the most part….. dont have that aggresive "f'em and leave em" gene in their sexuality so any MCF would be hard pressed to get any P acting overtly sexual….theyre more undercover.
    On the topic of ability in bed….the reality is the more experience a man has the better he can deliver an orgasm with confidence……now, that being said, can a man make a woman fall for him without being able to equally deliver the emotional "meat" to get her heart hooked….probably not…….but then again, like with all false advertising, integrity has no part in the goal
    my verdict….ppl who advertise their sexual prowess are deeply overrated and ultimately insecure.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      09/21/2012 at 1:47 PM

      The last sentence is 100% TRUTH

  4. China

    09/21/2012 at 12:03 PM

    "Yuh feel-seh di smart one must be one boring gyal, but trust mi, dem ‘ave EVERYTING yuh coulda want and the next gyal a one-big POPPY-SHOW!”

    Empty barrel mek di most noise!!!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      09/21/2012 at 1:46 PM

      HA! Thank God some of yall understood the Jamaican!

  5. bellatrice1

    09/21/2012 at 2:08 PM

    Love the term "community freak!" I've never heard it before. Guys that talk about what they can do in bed turn me off, and so I've never even given one the time of day. Therefore, I don't know if they live up to the hype, but I liken CFs to hearing about how good a movie is before you've actually seen it. It may not be that the movie wasn't good, it just wasn't as good as you built it up in your head to be. When expectations are low, there is room to be pleasantly surprised. When expectations are high, if they're not at the very least, met, it's a wrap. So, moral of the story guys, less talk, more action :-)

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      09/21/2012 at 4:57 PM

      Good point about expectations!

  6. fourpageletter

    09/21/2012 at 10:45 PM

    shhhh!!!
    us under-estimated chicks have been flying under the radar and many of us like it just fine.
    i sometimes wish i got more attention, but i'll settle for keeping a dude's attention. ;)

  7. Pingback: War of the Beauty: Beauty is Overrated…Attraction is Something Else « From Ashy to Classy

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