Just Because YOU Can’t Find Romance, Doesn’t Mean It’s DEAD

Yesterday I had the terrible displeasure of witnessing a disjointed, disgusting and highly troubling rant by two young ted-a-reg [my new word on here] girls complaining how romance is dead – and MEN killed it. This annoyed the SH*T out of me, because these women decided to allocate no blame on themselves or even create an in-depth, critical analysis of the dating scene as a whole – just BLAME men as hard and as often as they possibly can. Now I’m MORE than willing to entertain the “Who Killed Chivalry?” debate, because that’s a substantive argument that can be framed in many different ways from BOTH sides, but when it comes to ROMANCE, not only is the “death” highly questionable, but if anything it’s NOT about what men did to women, it’s about what we BOTH did to the entities of LOVE & ROMANCE.

Now let me say that I agreed with these young women on SOME points. I agree that men are probably a lot FROWSIER in the way we approach women than ever before, and many of us don’t see being classically amorous as a necessity to dating like many dudes once did, BUT, let’s not act as if women have ZERO autonomy in the dating world. Dating is NOT an exclusively-male controlled monopoly that precludes women from being able to be willing participants in the process, meaning that women have played a VERY active role in any-perceived degradation of twenty-first century courtship. 

These days are OVER

First, let me unequivocally state this FACT: Love and romance are BOTH still VERY much alive, and there are MANY couples currently experiencing happy and amazing relationships who can willingly attest to that fact. Every single day couples are creating, appreciating, and renewing their love for one another, but it’s easy as HELL to miss that when your eyes are filled with tears of self-pity. Just because YOU can’t find romance does NOT mean that romance no longer exists. Just because romance doesn’t fit your narrow-minded view of what it’s SUPPOSE to look like [typically based on some unrealistic old-school fantasy], it doesn’t mean that romance has evaporated into thin air. In fact, if you haven’t experienced true enchantment, that says a LOT more about YOU than the dating scene on a whole.

The truth is romantic courtships and relationships exist ALL around us, and in MUCH more fashions than just typical, old-school chivalric behaviour. But to the women who will steadfastly attest to the ideology that romance is DEAD, I have one simple comment for you: ‘Be the change that you want to see in the world.’ What have YOU done today to harbour a more romantic society that fosters love and affection instead of mustiness and gonorrhoea? Do you even exude an attitude that is conducive to BEING romanced? If you can not FIRMLY state that you are FLAWLESSLY approaching love and relationships with an open heart, and without any form of bitterness, impatience or conceit, then I suggest you take several seats and let those of us who KNOW romance still exists enjoy our-damn-selves.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

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