Men Don’t Need To Be COERCED Into Falling In Love

Every time I write about BS that women do in relationships, the number one defence I hear in response, is that women essentially do what they feel they NEED to do in order to GET the man to be in a relationship with them. Basically, if she has to lie, cheat and steal to get him to commit, than that is simply what it is, and it’s not HER fault, that’s just how the game is set-up. Well, I call ABSOLUTE BS on that ideology. Women DON’T need to LURE men into relationships with wet nani and good head, nor do they need to TRAP a man into a relationship with bullish*t ultimatums and they definitely DON’T need to use special tactics in order to get him to acquiesce into accepting a monogamous lifestyle. Ladies, as a man I can tell you ONE simple fact about us: YES, we want to fall in love with the woman of our dreams and it won’t take a DAMN THING on her part to make it happen, except for her just being herself.

I don’t understand why this is such a point of contention – I guess women and men really ARE from different planets when it comes to how we view each other from a romantic perspective, because we are WAY out of sync. I’m so sick and tired of having relationship conversations where the prevailing mentality amongst the women in the convo is that MEN need to be PUSHED and FORCED into commitment or else we will be bachelors for life or give you some 8-year engagement, promising you a grand wedding that will NEVER come. I’m assuming this mentality women have is predicated on the ideology that the majority of men out here feel they are George Clooney-esqe and can willingly get a hot piece of ass anytime they want, even after they turn greyer than Anderson Cooper. But ladies, if you hold the thought that men need to be WHIPPED into a relationship, or being monogamous, or committing to you, then you don’t know a DAMN thing about us.

Men fall in love with women EVERY SINGLE DAY and it’s not based on some falsified impetus that the woman used to TRICK him. Men meet women, learn about her mentally, emotionally and physically, and then if she is exactly what we want, we CHOOSE to love her. We choose to love despite her imperfections, or her history or even adverse odds. We love everything about HER and it’s a HELL OF A LOT more than just some sexual infatuation. When a man listens to his heart and LOVES, every single thing about her becomes a quiet testimony to her imperfect-perfection. Every misplaced strand of hair becomes his definition of beauty and every single character quirk she has becomes a loving reminder of her intrinsic uniqueness. Hell, some men fall in love just by seeing a woman be there for him on her OWN volition, during tough times.

But I KNOW already that many women WON’T believe me, so go do some research yourselves and see if I’m lying. Go talk to your close male friends and ask them what HONESTLY made them fall in love with their ex-GF’s – I promise you the TWO things you WON’T hear anywhere CLOSE to the top of their lists will be: 1) Because she CONVINCED me going out with her was the best thing to do, and 2) Because I was scared I might not be able to get p*ssy anywhere else.

Men are NOT unemotional troglodytes who NEED a woman’s mind games in order to commit to her. Hell, if you are STILL thinking mind games are necessary to “lock a man down” that may explain why you’re never in relationships with grown-ass men.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

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