Some Of The Best Sex You’ll Ever Have: OUR House Sex

This piece is NOT directed to women to people who just live alone by themselves in their bachelor pad deepthroating random richard or beating up faceless-nameless nani every night as they are WELL aware of the advantages and disadvantages of being a bachelor[ette]. This piece is aimed at COUPLES, especially couples in serious relationships, who are realistically contemplating marriage and children in their near future. Before you take that ultra-serious step of having children, make sure to spend at least 365 days smashing each other having OUR House sex until your groins are pulled worse than a bad gymnast.

OUR House Sex, just as the name sounds, is making love to the person you’re in a relationship with in the place both of you call HOME. This is when you can have freaky-ass, loud-ass, experimental-ass, demeaning-ass, hard-to-make-eye-contact-with-your-ass-in-the-morning sex and no one can tell you or your partner a DAMN thing because you pay the rent/mortgage to live there and that’s YOUR house.

Now you may be wondering why OUR House Sex is better than just MY Place Sex, where you get it in with whoever you want in YOUR own place. Well, this sex is a step above MY Place Sex, because there is no awkward after sex moments like:

“uh…are you sleeping? I kinda, uh, have to be up early so, uh, if you could get dressed, I can, uh, call you a cab and you can, uh, sleep in your own damn bed.”

A lot of people underestimate the peace and calm that is derived from the post nut relaxation period, where you just lay in the wet spot, condom still on the dude, cum still on the girl, lying in each other’s arms sweaty and worn out and satisfied and content that there is no other place in the world you would rather be, except right there at that very moment. When it comes to MY Place Sex, the other party has to consider how they are getting home, how much the taxi is, can they stay awake on the long ride home, are the buses still running, etc. You NEVER really get to feel that relaxation that comes along with OUR House Sex where you can pass out in each others arms after you bust, and be happy you’re actually waking up next to that person.

Hopefully anyone reading this would be smart enough to only move out with someone they absolutely LOVED, and it should be clear that sex while you’re in love is probably the most satisfying type of sex most of us will ever experience. Definitely a lot more satisfying than “Shhhh, keep it down, my momma’s upstairs” sex.

The ability to be able to KNOW you’re coming home to the one you love and you can walk through the doors of your home and stroll up to your girl while she is talking on the phone and start sucking on her neck while she struggles to keep it together for the person on the other end, but not resisting your tongue gently lapping her neck and collar bone is a POWERFUL thing. As you lower your tongue to sucking and nibbling her perfectly round breasts while she puts her hand over the receiver so her friend can’t hear her moaning and then firmly pulling her shorts and panties down in one quick pull to reveal she was soaking wet from the second she saw how hard you were through your dress pants when you walked through the door, you will praise the lord that the woman you love, is sharing this space with you as opposed to being some random ass stranger who’s not deserving of the best your body and soul has to give.

When people ask me when do I see myself having kids, I respond to them, at least 365 days AFTER I’ve lived alone with the woman of my dreams, because I’ll be DAMNED if I don’t get to experience the squirtastic joys of OUR House Sex.

This Is Your Conscience

Lincoln Anthony Blades can be found on Twitter at @LincolnABlades and on Instagram at @ThisIsYourConscience