This piece is NOT directed to women to people who just live alone by themselves in their bachelor pad deepthroating random richard or beating up faceless-nameless nani every night as they are WELL aware of the advantages and disadvantages of being a bachelor[ette]. This piece is aimed at COUPLES, especially couples in serious relationships, who are realistically contemplating marriage and children in their near future. Before you take that ultra-serious step of having children, make sure to spend at least 365 days smashing each other having OUR House sex until your groins are pulled worse than a bad gymnast.
OUR House Sex, just as the name sounds, is making love to the person you’re in a relationship with in the place both of you call HOME. This is when you can have freaky-ass, loud-ass, experimental-ass, demeaning-ass, hard-to-make-eye-contact-with-your-ass-in-the-morning sex and no one can tell you or your partner a DAMN thing because you pay the rent/mortgage to live there and that’s YOUR house.
Now you may be wondering why OUR House Sex is better than just MY Place Sex, where you get it in with whoever you want in YOUR own place. Well, this sex is a step above MY Place Sex, because there is no awkward after sex moments like:
“uh…are you sleeping? I kinda, uh, have to be up early so, uh, if you could get dressed, I can, uh, call you a cab and you can, uh, sleep in your own damn bed.”
A lot of people underestimate the peace and calm that is derived from the post nut relaxation period, where you just lay in the wet spot, condom still on the dude, cum still on the girl, lying in each other’s arms sweaty and worn out and satisfied and content that there is no other place in the world you would rather be, except right there at that very moment. When it comes to MY Place Sex, the other party has to consider how they are getting home, how much the taxi is, can they stay awake on the long ride home, are the buses still running, etc. You NEVER really get to feel that relaxation that comes along with OUR House Sex where you can pass out in each others arms after you bust, and be happy you’re actually waking up next to that person.
Hopefully anyone reading this would be smart enough to only move out with someone they absolutely LOVED, and it should be clear that sex while you’re in love is probably the most satisfying type of sex most of us will ever experience. Definitely a lot more satisfying than “Shhhh, keep it down, my momma’s upstairs” sex.
The ability to be able to KNOW you’re coming home to the one you love and you can walk through the doors of your home and stroll up to your girl while she is talking on the phone and start sucking on her neck while she struggles to keep it together for the person on the other end, but not resisting your tongue gently lapping her neck and collar bone is a POWERFUL thing. As you lower your tongue to sucking and nibbling her perfectly round breasts while she puts her hand over the receiver so her friend can’t hear her moaning and then firmly pulling her shorts and panties down in one quick pull to reveal she was soaking wet from the second she saw how hard you were through your dress pants when you walked through the door, you will praise the lord that the woman you love, is sharing this space with you as opposed to being some random ass stranger who’s not deserving of the best your body and soul has to give.
When people ask me when do I see myself having kids, I respond to them, at least 365 days AFTER I’ve lived alone with the woman of my dreams, because I’ll be DAMNED if I don’t get to experience the squirtastic joys of OUR House Sex.
This Is Your Conscience
112 Comments, Comment or Ping
lincolnanthonyblades
Ladies & Gentlemen, What Are Your Thoughts On OUR House Sex? Share Your Good Memories You Selfish Bastards?!
Jul 21st, 2011
MistaHarsh
When people ask me when do I see myself having kids, I respond to them, at least 365 days AFTER I’ve lived alone with the woman of my dreams, because I’ll be DAMNED if I don’t get to experience the squirtastic joys of OUR House Sex.
^real talk because when you have kids it turns into "Ok the kids are asleep lets go" sex or "Don't worry he'll go back to sleep" sex.
The worse part of MY place sex was making sure I don't fall asleep with that bitch still in my house.
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Why couldn't you fall asleep with her there?
Jul 21st, 2011
MistaHarsh
Assuming its a onenightstand, how can I trust someone I don't really know? Most times I wouldn't bring them to my house in that type of situation
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Sure we had "our apartment sex" but not for a year, only a few months. I had just turned eighteen the first year we lived together and during that time one of his friends lived with us, the second year, his nephew. The third year, we got married and bought our first house, again only months of "our house sex" before another nephew came and lived with us but it was about ten months so that was better. Then we got pregnant. Now we look back on all of that and realize we did ourselves a disservice by not giving ourselves that year of alone time in the beginning so I agree with Linc. It is necessary to give yourselves that time. As far as memories…. Uh, that was a long time ago. I do remember some marathon sessions, one of them ended us up in the ER for my hubby.
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Oooooooookay there Mister…
Jul 21st, 2011
ChloeRayne516
"When people ask me when do I see myself having kids, I respond to them, at least 365 days AFTER I’ve lived alone with the woman of my dreams, because I’ll be DAMNED if I don’t get to experience the squirtastic joys of OUR House Sex"
Smart man, because the last thing you need is the little one walking in on you two MIDSTROKE asking "daddy why are you hurting mommy?" or while you blessing her lovebox orally below and hearing "Mommy, where's Daddy"? #TrueStory *FacePalm*
Good Times though.
Jul 21st, 2011
Nana
Any one up for someone one night stand
Jul 21st, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
nigga this look like craigslist to you!!
Jul 21st, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
why you keeping taking in all the lost boys from peter pan into your house?? tax benefits??
Jul 21st, 2011
The_Mad_HATER
true words!! fall asleep next to this stranger cuz she has good nani and wake up handcuffed to the bedpost with all your shit gone!!
Jul 21st, 2011
ChloeRayne516
Yaaaaaassss.
Ohhhh the Memories…
ALL OF THIS!!!!
Jul 21st, 2011
ChloeRayne516
LOL
you so stupid….
Jul 21st, 2011
ChloeRayne516
DEAD!!!!
Jul 21st, 2011
HerCommonSense
How did your husband end up in the ER?
Jul 21st, 2011
HerCommonSense
Have not been lucky enough to experience this yet…
*Kicks Rocks*
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Lmao! No tax benefits! I'm just a nice person! The nephews stayed with us because their mom was having a hard time taking care of them. My hubby's friend? I don't really remember why he was there, I'm thinking it was a post jail situation though.
Jul 21st, 2011
ChloeRayne516
I have no words for this. *smh*
o___O
People still having one night stands in 2011??
Jul 21st, 2011
ChloeRayne516
"It is necessary to give yourselves that time"
Cosign 1000%
Yup me and my ex-hubby waited 4 years before having our daughter so we could enjoy ourselves and accomplish things as well.
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
This was back at our first apartment. We must've gone maybe two weeks getting busy around five times a day everyday. One day, I guess he just ran out of cum and nutted blood instead. We rushed to the ER because it freaked us out since he'd had prostate problems before and we were worried it might have something to do with it. Turns out it was just strain. They told us to take a break. That's not really anything juicy but that's really memorable.
Jul 21st, 2011
imakesense
Yay at the lesbian couples!
So I'm assuming in order to do this your advocating couples getting homes together prior to marriage? Or do hotel rooms and weekly stayovers count:)
Jul 21st, 2011
imakesense
LOL so how did you trust the girl enough to put your dack in her guts?
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Omg ya'll were smart! I let my hubby talk me into having condomless sex after we got married and boom pregnant after only one year of marriage. Smdh I wanted to wait around four years too. I guess it wouldn't had mattered though since we were always taking care of the SIL's kids.
Jul 21st, 2011
imakesense
ER!!??:O
Jul 21st, 2011
imakesense
GTFO
Jul 21st, 2011
ChloeRayne516
*Confuzzled and Confused*
People still having one night stands in 2011…
Jul 21st, 2011
KemaVA
Been a while for me…
*Joins Common in rock kicking*
Jul 21st, 2011
KemaVA
I'm sure one night stands will be occuring in 2056. lol! The more things change the more they stay the same. Although that one night stand might be on some 'Demolition Man' type sex.
Jul 21st, 2011
KemaVA
HAH!!! you are tooooo much!
Jul 21st, 2011
HerCommonSense
If you have been lucky enough to get it like that I think you're rock might be bigger because at least I don't know what goodness I'm missing lol
Jul 21st, 2011
HerCommonSense
You think one night stands should be out of style??
Jul 21st, 2011
HerCommonSense
Oh my god, that must have been traumatizing for him
Jul 21st, 2011
HerCommonSense
Those actually happened to you? Lawd…
Jul 21st, 2011
ChloeRayne516
With all the crap floating around (STD, STI, HPV, HIV, etc.) today a one night stand is an even BIGGER risk now.
But that's just my opinon.
Jul 21st, 2011
ChloeRayne516
Yes and Yes.
LOL
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
It really was. After that I think the most we got out in in one day was four times and we made that rare. It was so embarrassing for them to tell us to take a break. Like we were fiends or something.
Jul 21st, 2011
MistaHarsh
I'm sure one night stands will be occuring in 2056. lol!
LOL!
"Although that one night stand might be on some 'Demolition Man' type sex."
I can't wait!
Jul 21st, 2011
MistaHarsh
I understand where you are coming from but STDs have been around since Eve burnt Adam. Just because we've recently given these infections a label doesn't make it new.
ONS will always be risky. Stay latex'd up and always protect your identity and belongings.
Jul 21st, 2011
MistaHarsh
I don't thats why I'd use trojans/lifestyles/durex to put my mind at ease.
Jul 21st, 2011
KemaVA
Hey you remember in Demolition Man there was no actual physical contact…
Still cant wait?
Jul 21st, 2011
MistaHarsh
"Here, take this pack of ice and get outta here you horny jackrabbits"
Jul 21st, 2011
MistaHarsh
LOL! ol girl offers up the snatch no strings attached and this is the love she gets?
Jul 21st, 2011
Crystal Promo-Fernandez
I think the best is getting it in for the 1ST time in your new place on the 1ST night you officially move in! It's just exciting and new and incredibly sexy!!
Jul 21st, 2011
Crystal Promo-Fernandez
One night stands will always be hot in these streets! LOL
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Lmao! What did Eve burn Adam with?
Jul 21st, 2011
Crystal Promo-Fernandez
I don't think that's correct…I think a good amount of these viruses are fairly new
Jul 21st, 2011
Crystal Promo-Fernandez
Wow ex-con in the house? You're better than me! LOL
Jul 21st, 2011
MistaHarsh
it doesn't have to be pre-marriage, just pre-kids. Hotels and stayovers don't count b/c someone has to leave. The whole point was to lie in your juices, on your own bedsheets, and fall asleep stank as of mofo and not having to worry about that awkward moment of when you should leave.
Jul 21st, 2011
Crystal Promo-Fernandez
OMG!! BLOOD!!
Has it ever happened again??
Jul 21st, 2011
Crystal Promo-Fernandez
If you are looking to get some STD's go show her some "love" LOL
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Mommy, where's Daddy?
Heeee-larious!
What did ya'll do? Did he hide under the covers til she left?
Jul 21st, 2011
Crystal Promo-Fernandez
Hopefully those aren't his first memories! LOL
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Lmao!
Jul 21st, 2011
Crystal Promo-Fernandez
I don't think marriage really has anything to do with it..
Jul 21st, 2011
ATLienSince82
Tell em!
Jul 21st, 2011
ATLienSince82
What's Demolition Man?? Is that the movie with Wesley Snipes??
Jul 21st, 2011
ATLienSince82
I hate to sound disgusting but I gotta ask…was he wearing a jimmy?? And if not, was he trying to cum on your face??
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Yes he was (wearing a jimmy)… The doc kept asking was he sure the blood was on the inside. Lol
Man how awful would that had been if it were a facial though? I'd've been looking like Carrie! Good thing we're not into facials.
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Lmao I'm trying to think back! Was that before or after he became an ex-con? I think it was. Too long ago to remember!
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
From him? Nah.
Jul 21st, 2011
KemaVA
Yea… With sylvester stalone and speed girl.
Jul 21st, 2011
KemaVA
trojans/lifestyles/durex dont protect against herpes…
and seriously… are you using trojans/lifestyles/durex while receiving dome?
Jul 21st, 2011
ATLienSince82
There was a sex scene in that????
Jul 21st, 2011
ATLienSince82
You would have been looking like Nicole Brown Simpson!
Jul 21st, 2011
ATLienSince82
No birth control pills in your town???
Jul 21st, 2011
MistaHarsh
I'll be in my seventies so if I can still get it in, in a virtual sense I'm all in.
Jul 21st, 2011
MistaHarsh
You know what, I think you're right look at this STD…
http://www.learntobeaguy.com/post/3742582168/the-…
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Not every woman can take birth control pills…
Jul 21st, 2011
KemaVA
Yea… at least that way you wont break your hip. lol!
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Dude, I wanna laugh at this but I just can't.
Jul 21st, 2011
BoomBam
Y'all weren't actually surprised you got pregnant after having contraceptiveless sex?
Jul 21st, 2011
ChloeRayne516
Hers….
She was like 6yrs old at the time.
smhl
Jul 21st, 2011
imakesense
ew
Jul 21st, 2011
ChloeRayne516
He told her he was looking for something and came back up. Meanwhile I'm laying there looking like a deer caught in headlights til i finally got outta bed and put her back in her bed.
LOL
Jul 21st, 2011
imakesense
"This piece is aimed at COUPLES, especially couples in serious relationships, who are realistically contemplating marriage and children in their near future."
I pulled it from that part of the post. Please read…
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
No.
*keeps sarcastic remark to self*
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Lmao! That was some quick thinking!
Note to self: install lock on master bedroom door.
Jul 21st, 2011
MzDebbieFields
I think the best sex you can have is when you first get some really good richard and realize you don't have to keep it down and can be as loud as you want #Multiples
Jul 21st, 2011
MzDebbieFields
Sex will always be risky whether it's a one night stand or not…I mean how many people are really showing their tests and records after the 3rd or 4th date??
Jul 21st, 2011
MzDebbieFields
SMH at people who have always been in relationships and now nothing about the real dating world!
Jul 21st, 2011
MzDebbieFields
Wasn't he sore before that??? Weren't you sore??
Jul 21st, 2011
MzDebbieFields
SMH!!
Jul 21st, 2011
MzDebbieFields
Yup, some men really need to do their research…
Plus pulling out with your boyfriend and feeling their cum on you is hot!
Jul 21st, 2011
MzDebbieFields
What's wrong with getting a hook up??
Jul 21st, 2011
MzDebbieFields
Yup she's gonna remember those unless she is traumatized and pushed them deep in her mind!
Jul 21st, 2011
MzDebbieFields
You didn't invest in locks after the first time??
Jul 21st, 2011
MzDebbieFields
Why the hell would a hotel stay count? That's your house?? LOLL
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
I don't think so but I might just not remember.
Jul 21st, 2011
HerCommonSense
That's unfortunately a very accurate statement. I fear that many people are not sharing their true sexual health records regardless of when they decide to start having sex.
Jul 21st, 2011
HerCommonSense
Did you get a second opinion just to put your minds at ease?
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Yeah. Some guys just don't understand. Bc pills made me so sick, sometimes bedridden!
We tried the pull out technique but it's hard to always maintain enough control for that though. Plus, I like internals better anyway. Cum gets cold too fast. It doesn't taste good cold.
Jul 21st, 2011
HerCommonSense
I hope he wouldn't try hiding, before her little girl spotted him and thought he was playing hide and go seek and climbed right up under the covers with him lol
Jul 21st, 2011
imakesense
And smh at loose butts that will NEVER maintain successful relationships.Troll you don't know me or my life
Jul 21st, 2011
imakesense
Regardless I rent places consistently and my man stays over weeks at a time before he leaves same bloody ish. And stop replying to my posts troll.
Jul 21st, 2011
imakesense
Since I'm Ghanaian, the name Nana is gender neutral. So it very well could be a guy
Jul 21st, 2011
MzDebbieFields
Way to back peddle with a nonsensical reply and then bail out with the troll argument! LOL
Jul 21st, 2011
MzDebbieFields
Ugh you're telling me! I like it like I take my vanilla bean at Starbucks: white, hot and creamy! LOL
Jul 21st, 2011
MzDebbieFields
Oh shut your mouth little girl!
You constantly brag about your bf when no one even asked you so stop talking about how much everyone doesn't know! SMH LOL
Jul 21st, 2011
ChloeRayne516
LMAO….
Jul 21st, 2011
ChloeRayne516
We had locks and he was supposed to have locked it but he didn't apparently…..
Jul 21st, 2011
imakesense
Bish no one back pedalled.
If you and you're man (WOOPS my mistake, you don't have one) rent a hotel for a couple of weeks you reap alot of benefits presented in this post.
Though it will NEVER be the same as having your OWN place, and I am sure we agree on that.
Cheers Troll
Jul 21st, 2011
krystllyght
Hmmm. We weren't smart enough to think of that.
Jul 21st, 2011
imakesense
I will stop bragging when you stop bragging about your loosy goose sore ridden pop can expanded vagina in every sex post!!
You are constantly on here trying to portray youself as a Dr. Sue Johanneson when you just come off like a dirty used tissue.
Bish you mad? At the rate you are going..let me just stop
LMAO!
Jul 21st, 2011
imakesense
"so stop talking about how much everyone doesn't know! "
POST EVIDENCE.
Basic bishes I tell ya…
Jul 21st, 2011
Candice
I LOVE the idea of our house sex. I'm waiting for that day to come
Jul 21st, 2011
MistaHarsh
entertaining
funkflex voice "keep going!"
Jul 22nd, 2011
Tameka DFL
OUR sex >>>>>>>>
Jul 26th, 2011
Vicky
Where was I when you first posted this????
Some of my neighbours cannot make eye contact with us anymore! The men joke around about it – "Hey, I have to go to work in the morning so keep it down tonight" to which I respond "You still don't have ear plugs?" So, a basket of dollar store ear plugs went outside the door (I live in a building).
Sep 14th, 2012
Paul B.
Lmbo
Sep 14th, 2012
J.Crawford
Why not?? Linc talked about this on his podcast a while back; Why do people ONLY use Condoms during Intercourse but Not Oral Sex??? The movie Booty Call should have passed the lesson of using Condoms and Food Wrap for the Nani. Safe Sex means ALL Bases are Covered, regardless of How Ridiculous it sounds.
Sep 14th, 2012
LuvLife289/ oh ok...
Thats why theres flavored condoms…
Sep 14th, 2012
nolabels
It is actually very comforting and satisfying..without having to worry about a roommate or someone's parents. Also, for the person not to have to leave in the middle of the night or early in the morning is cool as well.
Sep 17th, 2012
Reply to “Some Of The Best Sex You’ll Ever Have: OUR House Sex”