Sometimes LOVE Isn’t A Good Enough Reason To Stay Together

Last night I was participating in an online chat regarding dating, sex, and relationships and the conversation quickly turned to THIS picture of Chad Johnson that was released recently, showing that he got a brand new tattoo of his estranged-wife’s face, Evelyn Lozada [sans stitches]. As much as I was NOT surprised half the room thought it was ridiculous [like Chris Brown tatting Riri’s broken jawbone on his knuckles], I was SHOCKED that the other half actually supported his actions because he was “fighting for his wife! Fighting for the woman he LOVES!” I don’t think they realize that FIGHTING is the LAST thing this negro should be doing, unless it’s fighting to get on an indoor-football team roster so he can have some income coming in.

When I saw Chad’s tattoo, the first thing I immediately thought was “I hope this dude is spending his money intelligently” because if he transforms into Super-Simp mode [especially in prime-time CUFFING season] and starts trying to SPEND his way back into her good graces, he’s not too far from ending up broke just like T.O. But I digress. The reason I was SHOCKED that the entire other HALF of the chat room thought he should FIGHT for her, is because I really thought either most people would realize he shouldn’t FIGHT for a damn thing or they would simply have NO opinion on the matter. But if you think that a man and wife should fight for their LOVE no matter WHAT the situation is, chances are you a delusional jackass.

The truth is, LOVE does NOT conquer all, all the time, because sometimes what your heart wants is not what’s best for the totality of your mind, body and soul. Sometimes LOVE is NOT the all-encompassing guiding light and salvation of relationship troubles. Sometimes LOVE is simply NOT a good enough reason to stay together, because, occassionally, it takes your heart TOO long to realize what your mind figured out a LONG time ago: This person is simply not GOOD for us anymore, and it’s time to respect OURSELVES and keep it moving.

Now I realize I’m already upsetting the “Pro-Love” crowd who believes that love and marriage is HARD WORK and people need to commit through the good times and the bad, and valleys must be crossed in order to make it to the hills [and all the rest of that utter BS]. To those people, I want you to CLEARLY understand that we see eye-to-eye on that issue – except I believe in ONE caveat to add to that ideology: When the relationship becomes physically and emotionally abusive, leading to the wholesale destruction on someone’s entire LIFE, that is MORE than a valid reason to get your Bitty Mclean on and “walk away from love.”

I’m Pro-Love the same way intelligent, caring and respectable people are Pro-Life: I understand that one rule can NOT apply to everyone in EVERY situation. The same way SMART Pro-Lifers think it’s OK to give a woman the complete freedom of choice after being raped and becoming pregnant, I believe people who have been mentally or physically abused should be encouraged to reassess their relationship and STEP AWAY if they need to.

One of the biggest problems with love is that it lingers, even after your mind realizes it can’t deal with the BS anymore. If you are in a relationship with an ‘aint-sh*t somebody’ please don’t wait until things hit ROCK BOTTOM to realize that lingering love is NOT clairvoyance – it’s IGNORANCE.


This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.