If there’s one topic that hits very close to home for me, it’s domestic abuse. Unfortunately I grew up in a home where there was abuse and I almost found myself in an abusive relationship as well, but thanks to the glory of God I had the strength to walk away from that situation. I preach to all my girlfriends that they need to avoid abusive men like the plague the first second he steps out of line, and never give him a second chance, because the next time it could cost her more than some stitches…it could cost her, her life! But now that I have a friend who is in a relationship with a man we all know “was” abusive, but hasn’t hit her yet, it’s hard to imagine what the next step should be.
I have a friend who is seeing a boy named “Harry” and we all know that Harry is abusive. In or small group of friends, one of my girls has an old classmate who went to college with Harry in another state, also and dated him…and she got beat up by Harry on more than one occasion! Not only did he push and hit her, but he also choked her almost until she passed out. The reason my close girlfriend even knows this is because Harry ended up in the newspaper and charges were pressed against him. So when my girlfriend saw my other girl rolling around town with Harry, she came to us and told us his history…but it left us in the terrible position of having to break the news to a woman who is so into her new man that things could go all down hill.
As a woman, it is hardwired in me to give other women the benefit of the doubt in many situations, but if there is one thing we need to change as a group, it’s how we react to hearing bad news about our boyfriends, from our girlfriends! Some women don’t even want to hear what their girlfriend is saying, and will instantly accuse her of being a hater or trying to steal her man…and because we don’t want to lose her as a friend, we tend to tread lightly so we don’t offend her. Our particular friend who is head over heels for Harry does tend to react like that, so me and my girls are in a tough place: Do we warn her about Harry and possibly lose a lifelong friend or do we just sit back and closely monitor the situation and jump only when we have solid proof?
Well, let me tell you what I chose to do: Me and my ex-classmate called Harry on 3-way and basically told him that if one-hair on my friends head is outta place, we will be calling everyone from the Ray-Ray to the DA to come get him, and I know he got that message…but that doesn’t guarantee that he won’t put his damn paws on her if he gets heated in a fit of rage!
So, I ask you TIYC readers, would you risk a close friendship to save a girlfriend from being abused?