YES, There Are Gay Black Frat-Members – AND A Lot Of OTHER Types Too

When I first heard that there was some viral, Twitter-trending, Youtube video featuring two young Black men getting married, I was mildly intrigued as to what made THIS wedding so special, outside of the regular homophobia of the hyper-masculine dudes, the wannabe alpha-males, the church and the unnecessarily ignorant. Then I learned that ONE of the dudes apparently is a member of the Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity, and that’s where things started to crystallize a lot for me, and then led me to a point that made me LAUGH OUT LOUD to myself: The FUNNY thing about the perceived acceptance of Gay Men in our society, is that we are willing to accept the most extroverted and stereotypical representations of Gay Men on a singular basis, but there’s still a lot of different “TYPES” that we are unwilling to accept so easily into “our” circles.

Here’s the video picture-collage of these dudes wedding:

The reason this video caused such an uproar is because people thought this was a “Gay Kappa Wedding” where the Kappa colours were being used [cream and crimson are the Kappa colours, although the actual wedding was red and white] to support these dudes getting married. I heard frat guys prattle on about how this ceremony disrespects the long-standing legacy of Kappas from a historical perspective, but the REAL story is this: When it comes to accepting homosexuals RIGHT to live their intended lifestyles, you can’t just accept the Derek J’s and Richard Simmons of the world – you have to accept ALL, in EVERY sector of modern society. And as much as this may scare some of you, there are gay men EVERYWHERE in the world, in EVERY line of work, playing EVERY sport professionally with EVERY body type you can possibly imagine.

There are gay men everywhere from the West Indies to East Africa, from North America to the South Pole and every damn where in between. There are gay engineers, scientists, FRAT MEMBERS of all kinds, steel workers, farmers and Chik-fil-a cashiers. There are gay men in the NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, MLS and I wouldn’t even be surprised if there were a few in the WNBA. These men are tall, short, skinny, built like bodybuilders, fat, slovenly, well-kept and representative of every OTHER physical characteristic you can think of.

The reason I mention this is because true acceptance of homosexuality is being able to be comfortable with gay men in EVERY circle YOU interact in. If you are NOT “THAT” comfortable, then you truly are not accepting of gay men. It’s easy for a heterosexual dude to say “I ain’t got no problem with dudes being gay!” when you are explicitly referring to the most flamboyant of gays, because in his mind it’s simply out-of-sight, out-of-mind. He figures there’s no harm in lending his support to their cause, because the chances of him actually interacting with a dude like that is SLIM – but these are the same men who will recant their support IN A SECOND, when the “Homo-train” pulls up to a station to close to HIS home.

Now this is NOT my attempt to scald people for NOT being accepting of homosexuals lifestyles, because in a free country, you are entitled to your own ignorance, but don’t pretend to be enlightened when you only accept Gay Men’s lifestyles – as long as they don’t come into contact with YOUR own.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    10/12/2012 at 5:18 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, What Are You Thoughts On These Dudes Marriage? Do You Think You Are TRULY Accepting Of Gay Lifestyles, Or Just The Flamboyant Ones That You Feel Are FAR From Your Own Circles?

  2. Smilez_920

    10/12/2012 at 6:41 AM

    I think most of the uproar came from other frats who were trying to roast The Kappas. There's a lot of bantering that goes on between the different frats and sororities , mix that with 18 to 24 yr old men , immaturity and " eww two dudes kissing" and you get the type of slander this video created.

    Most men in fraternity knows that they have gay line brothers and such. Usaully they just don't discuss or focus on it.

    I think in the black community we don't see a lot of different images of gay black men. Most either think of the " flamboyant gays" " or the homo thugs that bit)h dudes in jail". I think that plays a part of shaping why some men in these fraternities don't come out, they don't want ppl to start looking at their manhood ( which is one if the pilars in these fraternities) differnt.

    The kappas on my time line were very mature for the most part and didnt try to throw these two members under the bus .

    I think their wedding was fine . I don't see the big deal because I know gay men exist in fraternities ( like most females do). They just were confident enough to express their love and rep their frat at the wedding ( like most straight men do)

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      10/12/2012 at 2:00 PM

      That looked like a nice-ass wedding too.

      I just find it funny people will sit up and talk about how progressive they are, but as soon as someone in a circle they hang out in, states they are gay, all hell breaks loose.

  3. mena

    10/12/2012 at 9:28 AM

    What's funny is that my three closest guy friends are gay (one is bi but i already expressed my opinion on bisexuality) and black and unless you actually sat down and spoke with them, you would suspect one was gay and the other 2 you may try to set them up with a close female friend. The other thing is that they don't particularly care for flamboyant gay men at all and they eat at Chick-fil-a.

    Gay or straight, i really don't care. I will accept you as long as you accept yourself.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      10/12/2012 at 2:11 PM


  4. NurseJilly

    10/12/2012 at 11:28 AM

    I have a 6 year old nephew who made a comment about knowing what gay is a few months back and my sis and I were taken back and when we asked him what he thinks it means his response was priceless. He said "its when a lady loves a lady or a man loves a man but its all love so its fine"

    The great thing about kids is they see it for what it is and that only changes when the adults they are learning from instil prejudices in them. Love is love and I loved that video.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      10/12/2012 at 2:12 PM

      SMART KID!

  5. Vicky

    10/12/2012 at 2:02 PM

    I find it intriguing that only women have commented thus far.

    When you cut them, do they bleed?

    One love no matter what your race, sexual preference or any other BS that narrow minded individuals have used to segregate other individuals.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      10/15/2012 at 2:17 AM

      Interesting, because I didn't notice that. Seems like men are more comfortable with our ignorance.

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