As I quickly approach my thirties and see people all around me getting engaged and married, I am becoming even MORE cognizant of the reality that marriage is on the forefront of MANY of our minds. Regardless of whether or not we even see marriage as a realistic option in the foreseeable future, just due to being a grown-ass adult, we have to address this topic in every relationship we enter into now, and hell, even every DATE we go on. All this marriage talk has also opened my eyes to the different, specific circumstances and scenarios people want for the weddings, marriages and even PROPOSALS. Well ladies, if there’s ONE thing I can assure you about proposals, it’s that men DON’T want to be asked by YOU – so proceed at your own risk.
As much as I’m not a proponent of advocating traditional gender roles, I might sound like a damn caveman when I say this, but the truth is NO MAN wants his woman to PROPOSE to him. I don’t care about the 1% of men that actually accepted their wives proposals because those dudes were either held-hostage in an unfortunate situation, or they are the type of weakback dudes who ask their wives for permission to reattach their ballsacks every other weekend when she’s not crushing them in her homemade vice. This is as universal of a truth as universal gets ladies – men WANT the traditional opportunity to propose to YOU – and you robbing him of that is almost grounds for him to reject your proposal, and leave you looking like you just saw Morgan Freeman doing the Gangnam Style dance in boyshorts and a pink Cowboy hat – hurt and confused.
I actually discussed this topic with my boy Marvin in a new video series we will be doing called Bubba Of Truth:
If there is ONE piece of gender role tradition I WANT to hold onto, it’s being able to declare MY love for MY woman and express the full extent of my desire to spend our lives together in my way. I don’t CARE if that makes me sexist in the eyes of an extreme feminist, but I would feel ROBBED of that chance if she proposed to me.
Now there are some women reading this like “Who the hell said WOMEN want to propose in the first place?! Sheeeeeeiiit, I ain’t proposing to no damn man, so he BETTER like the idea of doing it!”And to you women I say, “you would be VERY surprised at what some women are saying these days.” I actually had a conversation with a group of young women who stated they feel it’s POINTLESS to sit around HOPING and WAITING for a man to propose, so they would feel NO WAYS asking their men to marry them. Now I agree that a woman should be able to exercise more options than just HOPING and WAITING, but ASKING HIM should NOT be your first option. Sometimes chivalry ISN’T chauvinism.
This Is Your Conscience
Join Bee Quammie on October 26th for a creative and timely roundtable discussion on topics around diversity and representation in the media, from the perspectives of:
Tatiana King: Radio Personality, G98.7FM's "The African Groove Show"
Arisa Cox: Freelance Journalist & Host of Big Brother Canada
Kim Johnson: Producer, CityNews
Nneka Elliott: Co-host, CP24 Breakfast
Ingrie Williams: Stylist & Editor of HOLR Magazine
We'll discuss a multitude of themes to hopefully open up a much-needed discussion around the intersections of race, gender, and media - and we'll have fun making new connections as we go!