LOVE Is NOT A Magical Occurrence -It’s Merely A CHOICE

The romanticized concept of LOVE being a happenstance, random, out-of-the-blue incidence is arguably one of the most psychologically damaging ideologies to ever happen to us as human beings. The reason so many people are so hateful, angry, distrustful and resentful is because they have not received a splash of the magical fairy dust that makes them Love – when the power to LOVE is only within themselves.

I remember being in an African-American Studies class in University discussing Malcolm X and a young Black girl stood up in front of the class and said that she could not agree or understand Malcolm’s separatist views on Blacks and Whites because “what if he fell in love with a White woman? How could he maintain his anger towards them then.” Being the disruptive, smart-a*s that I was, I then stood up in front of the class and made what became the controversial statement of the day: “Malcolm X would NEVER fall in love with a white woman, because he simply would choose NOT to.”

This obviously created an uproar amongst the students in the class, who accused me of everything from heresy to blasphemy for believing that humans actually CONTROL love. Well just as I did not back down from that point then, I will continue to reiterate that point now: Love is NOT just something that happens out of thin-air that you have no control over, whether you like it or not; Love is the positive result that occurs after one has chosen to open their hearts to loving someone.

The reason I stated like it or not, is because you have two types of people who are slaves to the concept of Love being a magical, uncontrollable, unknowable entity: The ones who wait for Love to bless them and therefore act as if they have no personal responsibility to act in a loving manner and the ones who curse love because it hasn’t “found” them yet.

If you are waiting around ‘hoping’ that Love finds you, but not making any steps to meet it halfway, I guarantee you will die sad and lonely, because even if you WANT Love with all your heart, it just doesn’t magically happen. To love another human being is a tireless and sometimes thankless undertaking, but most of all Love requires you to lose yourself in it’s infinite possibilities just to be able to experience it. It’s great that you can admit you WANT it, but Love is blind, and it will NEVER just randomly see you.

If you are bitter, sour and have a frowsy-a*s attitude because you’ve never been in Love before and believe it doesn’t exist, let me assure you it most definitely DOES. Your own personal frumpiness is preventing you from seeing how often it occurs all around you and your problem with Love stems not from the fact that some chubby Chris-Farley looking baby in a Miss America sash hasn’t struck you with it’s non-lethal bow and arrow of sensuality, your problem stems with nobody but yourself. People like this are hilarious, because they reject love and inherently choose to NOT engage in Love and then use the fact that it didn’t happen as proof it doesn’t exist. That is absolutely STUPID. How can you choose to NOT go on a diet and then think that allows you to use your weight gain as proof that dieting doesn’t help? OBVIOUSLY if you choose to do the opposite you will get that exact same result.

You want to fall in Love? You want PROOF that Love even exists? Well it starts with your mindset and approach to it, and if you are not in the right frame of mind to experience it, then you will NEVER know love. But do us all a favour and stop blaming Cupid, when the only reason you haven’t ever experienced it, is because you haven’t CHOSEN to yet.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

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