Our SOCIETY Is The WORST Thing To Happen To Our Pursuit Of TRUE LOVE

As I stated on my radio show last night, I was having a debate on Twitter on whether or not Monogamy is a Myth [the name of the upcoming Battle Of The Sexes event I will be participating in] and a young lady responded how she HATES hearing dudes blame NATURE for monogamy being a damn-near impossible thing to have. These dudes essentially state that monogamy is unnatural because we as men are scientifically programmed to spread our seeds all over the globe in as much nani as possible, therefore making the social-construct of a committed relationship an unnatural and inorganic experience. She believes that’s a complete bullish*t COP-OUT and while I’m inclined to agree with her, the one part where she is being short-sighted is not realizing how MUCH society NEGATIVELY affects our CHANCE at finding true love.

It is my belief that our restrictive, narrow-minded and heteronormative modern-western civilization is the LARGEST hindrance to human beings pursuit of TRUE love. As I sit back and think about my own life, I sometimes realize that I could EASILY be married with children right now – if we lived in a society that wasn’t so socially-restrictive when it comes to choosing a partner to be with. Now I’m NOT stating that society FORCES us to choose who we love and marry, but society DEFINITELY influences who we feel comfortable choosing, and THAT’S enough to make us run FROM the person who may bring us the most happiness.

I have seriously dated 2 women I could easily have married and created a great life with. We connected physically, mentally and emotionally, supported each other through our ups and downs, and loved each other down to our cores. But if you ask me why did NEITHER of those relationships work out, it always comes down to EXTERNAL pressure that creates INTERNAL problems. We live in a society where we are told to create so much different standards for the person we love, that it becomes almost a completely LUCKY endeavour to find someone who MATCHES the ACCEPTABLE traits you are SUPPOSE to want, while also fitting in the right CATEGORY for what you are SUPPOSE to NEED. The media, the blogosphere, your friends, your family, and society at large LOVE to tell you how YOU can tell if someone is wife/husband material [I’m guilty of this too], what you NEED to avoid and what you’re SUPPOSE to settle down with, and because these people don’t know what’s in YOUR heart, they set you down a path of chasing love that may be the FURTHEST thing from what’s BEST for YOU.

And then when you add in the fact that our societies inherent prejudice keeps us from even INTERACTING with each other en masse, that adds an entirely new and more restrictive variable to the conversation. Maybe being married isn’t for YOU. Maybe marrying someone from the same race, culture, religion, country or gender is not for YOU. Maybe finding someone with equal education, a high salary and other socially-propagated “marriage-material traits” are NOT for YOU. With so many things standing in the way of love, the best thing you can do is know WHEN to disconnect from giving a DAMN about what everyone else THINKS and simply love HOW and WHO you feel is best for YOU.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

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