Be honest with yourself right now: How many of you believe that moving in or “shacking up” with your significant other is the natural progression of being in a serious relationship BEFORE marriage/engagement? No matter how many of you want to admit it, that is a very common thought process amongst many young people – and that line of logic is completely STUPID.
Let’s be clear about SERIOUS dating and what it entails right now: Dating is the process of getting to know someone in order to qualify their potential as a long term mate. And it seems nowadays it’s broken down into very distinct stages with SHACKING UP being the final one before the lifelong commitment to be married has been agreed upon – unless both parties are against the idea of marriage – that is an incredibly ignorant thing to do.
The stages of serious dating nowadays are as follows:
1) Meet & Court Stage
2) Sex & Intimacy Stage
3) Comfort Stage
4) Move-In Stage
5) Start Talking About Marriage & Engagement Stage
Many people use moving out as an expression of how serious the relationship is becoming, when it should be a sign of how serious the relationship already is and how committed both parties already are to each other. But nowadays people want props because they decided to take their frowsy significant other “seriously” and move out with them with not so much as ONE single discussion on spending their lives together.
The problem with that thinking is as obvious as Foxy Brown’s lack of Mathematical prowess on “Affirmative Action”: Moving in together is the ultimate way of turning you and me into US – but if we haven’t even discussed where the relationship is seriously going – then are we not just setting ourselves up for failure? If your punk-a*s doesn’t know if you want to commit to that person, moving out should be the LAST thing on your mind no matter HOW grown you want to appear, because you aren’t ready to take on the responsibility of having another persons love, sanity and hell, even CREDIT all tied in your hands – but that’s what comes with LIVING together.
No SUCCESSFUL relationship can thrive with two people living under the same roof approaching life like “I’mma do me, and he/she can do them” so why are you playing house? Do you really want me to look at you like a serious grown-a*s couple just because you share the same p.o. box? Get the HELL outta here.
Now I am NOT stating that you need to be married before you move out, but what I am saying is that moving out is NOT something a couple should do because they have a warped opinion of what “serious” couples do. Hell, if you both live at your parents until you’re 30 and ready to commit 100% mentally, physically and emotionally thats better than moving out after 5 months of dating because you just hit stage 3 and it’s tome to “get serious.”
This Is Your Conscience
Join Bee Quammie on October 26th for a creative and timely roundtable discussion on topics around diversity and representation in the media, from the perspectives of:
Tatiana King: Radio Personality, G98.7FM's "The African Groove Show"
Arisa Cox: Freelance Journalist & Host of Big Brother Canada
Kim Johnson: Producer, CityNews
Nneka Elliott: Co-host, CP24 Breakfast
Ingrie Williams: Stylist & Editor of HOLR Magazine
We'll discuss a multitude of themes to hopefully open up a much-needed discussion around the intersections of race, gender, and media - and we'll have fun making new connections as we go!