Women Who Don’t Believe In RECESSION DATING Are NOT WIFE Material

Her: “I’m having such a good time! I think I’m gonna get seconds!”
Him: “Um, ok, see here’s the thing…the way my bank account is set up..”

Sometimes I praise the Lord that I have a background in financial planning because it has given me substantial insight into the realities of our financial situations. One of the greatest MYTHS about personal finance is that the higher your income is, the further away you are from being BROKE – which is absolute BS. Now you may be far from being POOR because, along with your liquid assets, you also have possessions of value like a house or condo for example. But avoiding being BROKE is not about how much money you MAKE – it’s about how much money you SAVE, and if you are looking to build a life with someone in THIS economy, you better find someone who understands that excessive SPENDING over SAVING is the fastest way to end up like Antoine Walker, Lil’ Bow Wow or MC Hammer.

Now, for those of you who DON’T know what recession dating is, it’s BEST clarified in this amazing Web Series episode from my boys over at Brothers With No Game:

Basically recession dating is being cost effective and smart with your money, as opposed to just spending for the sake of spending.NOT to be confused with CHEAP-ASS dating, like:

 

Before I begin my rant, I will have to concede that Junior is BEEYOTCH for letting Remy talk him out of the cheap-ass chicken place for the expensive, high-class restaurant his Black-ass KNEW he couldn’t afford before they even walked inside. Also, pre-rant, I must state that he REALLY should’ve used my PREDATE formula in this circumstance [arrange a meet-up at a local coffee shop in the afternoon and TRY to have a convo to see if there’s any chemistry BEFORE agreeing to spend an ENTIRE night together on a REAL date] which would’ve helped him avoid this ENTIRE mess, but that’s neither here nor there. The fact is, Remy perfectly exhibited the qualities of a chick you should STRIKE OFF the wife-material list.

My big problem with this ENTIRE scenario is that he constantly was beaten into a corner for his perceived social shortcomings which are realistically just normal conditions for men and women all over the world fighting recession, inflation and income disparity. Junior ain’t some DOUCHEBAG loser trying to be a rapper or an NBA player, he is a skilled worker who simply lost his job like MILLIONS of people are going through – yet, she entered the date with the judgemental mind-state that if he doesn’t have a checklist of material things, then he ain’t sh*t. Dude doesn’t have a CAR, a JOB or a lot of money in the bank, and is basically dead-ass broke – but aside from being too eager to please OTHER people, he wasn’t a BAD guy. And just because he’s experiencing hardships NOW, it doesn’t mean he’s gonna be down FOREVER.

Also, what bugged me about Remy is that she constantly let her desire for great material things, prevent her from completely enjoying the date. It seems like they actually DO have some chemistry, but she is so focused on what his car is, how much he makes and what his job is, that she never took time to find out about HIM and how he can treat her.

Now I’m not saying that women NEED to LEARN how to date broke ass men, because that’s NOT IT at all. What I’m saying is that a woman who believes a QUALITY date MUST have a substantial price tag attached is NOT the kind of woman a man should want to build a life with. It doesn’t take draining your bi-weekly paycheck to have an “adequately good” time. But if thats the lifestyle she NEEDS to lead let her run off with a baller – and watch how fast HE goes from pulling out his Black card to pushing a Black Ford Tempo because he can’t maintain the lifestyle she’s ACCUSTOM to.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

35 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    10/05/2012 at 5:09 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Believe In RECESSION DATING??

  2. Porsch

    10/05/2012 at 5:50 AM

    I just beleive in being a reasonable person and going into a situation with reasonable expectations. I am young and still in the student/graduate school age so I really do not have much to show for myself and therefore go into situations knowing that the guy may not be doing well too. I have legit gone to a restaurant and got water on a date with no problems at all because I knew that he was doing the best he could. I really do not mind. However as you said his brokeness should really only be a temporary thing and he should at least be showing potential to get out of his situation ie. being in school, doing an internship etc. If he is waiting to be "discovered" or making no effort to get a job I just cannot ramp with that. It actaully shows a general lack of ambition so he and I have no business being together whatsoever.

  3. Porsch

    10/05/2012 at 5:52 AM

    Also he really has to pull through for certain things like my Birthday, Christmas or other forseeably financially costly events. He can plan ahead. I am not asking for a Tiffany's necklace but something affordable and romantic like a picnic is REALLY doable. He needs to get creative because times are HARD.

  4. Lady Ngo

    10/05/2012 at 6:25 AM

    Man i got all caught up watchin BWNG lol. Shorty was trippin, Nando's is the ish and considering it didnt even appear to be a real date anyway…she's lucky he didn't take her to McDonalds. Anywho, i'm a cheap date (so long as the date makes sense) and a proponent of living within your means, recession or no recession so i throw no shade at a dude that can't afford to ball outta control especially on a first date.

  5. petersburgh

    10/05/2012 at 6:58 AM

    In days like these people better understand it. I too have a sound financial background so I have been manoeuvring well financially from my first $125 a week job till now and people just don't understand. There is a thin line between cheap and conservative and also smart and stupid. If she's really for you, she would understand that you probably can't afford certain places and that's it

  6. mena

    10/05/2012 at 9:20 AM

    LOL…save me with this post. Homegirl had EVERY RIGHT to be pissed. I would have acted just like her to be quite honest except for ordering the drink at the end and throwing the coins back in his face. To me, she didn't so much as care about the amount of money he made as she cared about if he was gainfully employed. And she only came back at him after he said "little blog" as if it wasn't a big deal. From that point, they actually seemed to enjoy the date and that is why she asked for another drink. Then it all went to hell.

    My rule of thumb is this, if you can't afford to date then don't do so. Don't blame the damn recession. Either go out on dates that are somewhat free like museums, walks in the park, hikes, e.tc. (by the way, women like these things), go to restaurants that you can afford, or don't date at all. To me it wasn't about maintaining some lifestyle. It was about being asked out and then going on a date that the guy couldn't afford in the first place. That just shows financial irresponsibility to me.

  7. 2cool4school

    10/05/2012 at 11:00 AM

    The reality is many men lead with their money. They pick you up luxury cars and take you out to real expensive trendy spots where the food doesn't even taste good. Peruvian-Hawaiian fusion concept – Say what??? Aren't these the same pork rinds from the store but because they are covered in soy sauce these chicharrones are $27. In my experience: most men pick first date spot and pay for dates. We can argue but men (broke or rich) are after the same women (8,9,10s) and many know that they can't compete if they are not spending $ or coming up with creative date plans. Then they wonder why their future kids hitting them up like a ATM; its the materialism they learned from their parents. As men like a woman to maintain their looks women like to maintain their financial status quo. When I don't have money (yay! grad school) I stay my ass at home or do free sh*t. If that means its a dry season thats cool. Men if you're really going through it take time out the game and settle yourself. You will be less stressed and will not impregnate women and void bringing children into this world you cannot care for. I get my BC 6 months at a time so I'm never without. Delayed gratification is sexy to grown a$$ people.

  8. mena

    10/05/2012 at 11:15 AM

    "When I don't have money (yay! grad school) I stay my ass at home or do free sh*t. If that means its a dry season thats cool. Men if you're really going through it take time out the game and settle yourself." Thank. You.

  9. futures

    10/05/2012 at 12:54 PM

    I've never had a problem with going out on cheap dates or even things that are free.

    I'm 25 so most my age are still settling into careers or going to grad school and professional school or right out of college and looking for any kind of job. I'm not gonna trip over how much the date cost.

    Now this is a whole other subject altogether but it bothers me more when I have to come up with somewhere to go on the date and you're the one who asked me out. No input, no ideas on where to go at all.

  10. MistaHarsh

    10/05/2012 at 12:58 PM

    "Now you may be far from being POOR because, along with your liquid assets, you also have possessions of value like a house or condo for example"

    Side note:
    The Real estate market in TO is deflating. What good are those assets when they're illquid. Anyone frontin like they're rich because they BOUGHT a 300k condo simply ask them how much is the mortgage, how much could you sell it for and subtract the extra fees and thats your true "wealth".

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  12. Lia

    10/05/2012 at 2:07 PM

    Women who don't believe in recession dating are definitely not wife material, but men who don't know how to put it into practice are not good husband material either. I think women need to be reasonable in what we expect a man to spend on a date but if he already knows he doesn't have much money to spend then he needs to know how to spend within his means. If she's unhappy with that, that's really too bad. There are plenty of other women out there who can date without making a brotha deplete his savings account. I'm not about to go broke for nobody and I wouldn't expect any man to feel like he has to do that for me. It's not that serious.

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