YOU Should Become The Person YOU Want To Marry

Last night on my “Let Me Tell You Why You’re Wrong” Radio Show, I was joined by a special guest, award-nominated relationship blogger, author and sexpert Nikki True (from, who provided nothing but REAL TALK on many issues we ALL deal with while dating, in relationships and on the single scene. After the show was over [which you can listen to at:] Nikki offered me the opportunity to read her new ebook, “First Comes Me – The Guide To Falling In Love With Yourself” where she offered up a common sense reality about dating and falling in love, that MANY people could use in their OWN pursuit of the perfect partner: “Become the person YOU would MARRY.”

That line, which is name of one of her chapters in the ebook, is extremely short, yet genius in it’s simplicity. One of the biggest problems with dating nowadays is there are too many MUSTY-ASS people who feel entitled to this great person – yet haven’t even begun to lay the foundation for THEIR OWN greatness. And then after years of toiling around being single and becoming a bitter serial dater, they eventually start losing hope in humankind which is HILARIOUSbecause they are looking for someone, that they aren’t even close to being themselves.

How in the HELL can YOU complain about the dating scene being absent of high-quality people, when YOU’RE not high quality? You got men out here complaining there’s NO wife-material women left because they want a woman who is Condileeza Rice in the classroom, Oprah in her career, Elena Arzak in the kitchen and Jada Fire in the bedroom. But his monkey-ass done dropped out of college, has made zero strides to get out of his dead-end career, can’t cook toast and gives weak-back richard. And before ANY woman starts laughing, y’all are guilty of the SAME BS.

Before we all harp on what there ISN’T enough of in society, and demonize other people for what we perceive as terrible shortcomings, we need to take a damn second and ask ourselves HONESTLY if WE even embody the type of person we wish we saw more of in society. If the answer is NO, then we got a LOT of damn work to do before we start to cast judgement upon other people. It’s so damn easy to knock others for what we think they SUCK at, but if we SUCK at true self-reflection, then what’s the point of making that criticism in the first place? The truth is, YOU should be the change YOU want to see in the world, and when you reach THAT level you probably won’t have to complain about what you DON’T have, because you will have already found it. Like Common said:

“Time helps mistakes, you can learn from/
Cuz one man f*^ked up men you shouldn’t turn from/
You want a certain type of guy, gotta reach a certain point too/
At the destination, a king will annoint you”

This Is Your Conscience

p.s. To all my readers of TIYC, don’t say I never gave y’all anything for FREE. If you click the link BELOW you can download Nikki True’s Ebook today for FREE. This free sale for the readers of TIYC ends TONIGHT at 12 AM, so make sure you download ASAP.


When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    10/19/2012 at 5:47 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Think You Currently Are The Type Of Person You Could See YOURSELF Settling Down With For The Rest Of Your Natural-Born Life?? HONESTLY!

  2. Smilez_920

    10/19/2012 at 8:06 AM

    Well Im 22 so I'm not quite ready for marriage. I'm on my way too becoming that person. I'm still tryin to master my imperfections and my strength. which I think is a step in the right direction. Hopefully by 25 I'll have it all together .

    I think we all go through a self entitlement phase , some ppls phase are longer than others. People have a tendency to focus on others ppl situations and short comings instead of tryig to improve on their own.

    That's why I commend ppl who realize they have work to do and stay single and focus on fixing their situation .

    • Shaun

      10/19/2012 at 10:24 AM

      Linc, you have another topic for the blog "Having it together: What does it mean? Does anyone ever really have it together?" I'd like to read your POV on that. I think it would be interesting to hear what your readers thoughts are as well

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        10/19/2012 at 2:30 PM

        Good idea, I like that.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      10/19/2012 at 4:52 PM

      Real talk.

  3. NurseJilly

    10/19/2012 at 2:05 PM

    Couldn't agree more. I am exactly the type of person that I could see myself settling down with now. It took a lot of work and me being single for almost two years to get here but I'm here:)

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      10/19/2012 at 2:30 PM

      Congrats! As long as you keep building on that everyday then you are far ahead of the game

  4. Lia

    10/19/2012 at 2:20 PM

    Am I the type of person I could settle down with permanently? In a way I am because my heart is usually in the right place. However, there is more to a lifetime together than good intentions. Hence why I'm taking this next 6 months to be completely single and do some real self reflection and self discovery.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      10/19/2012 at 2:29 PM

      Smart move Lia..I would like to hear how it goes

      • MissLia

        10/19/2012 at 5:24 PM

        Oh I'll keep you posted!

  5. petersburgh

    10/19/2012 at 7:27 PM

    Currently no because I just got out of a relationship months ago so I'm still purging myself and reflecting

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      10/20/2012 at 4:22 AM

      That's the smartest move my man

  6. binary options demo online

    12/13/2015 at 6:57 AM

    Roll Forward Characteristic One can find another
    characteristic has began to become available at many Binary Choices Brokers
    and that is something known as a Roll Forward feature.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *