You’re Nothing More Than A REBOUND – Relax Yourself

Curb your enthusiasm is right…

The biggest mistake a man or woman can make when being on the dating scene is getting involved with someone FRESH out of a relationship – and then attaching grand expectations to it. Too many times I have seen men get with women who JUST left a long-term, monogamous relationship with a man she gave her ENTIRE heart to, and then this new dude is RIDICULOUS enough to think it’s now HIS time to experience all that love because she’s recently single. I can’t even tell y’all the amount of women I know who have tried to start serious relationships with dudes fresh on the dating scene, and ending up heartbroken because the dude couldn’t be the man she WANTED him to be. The fact is, when you ALLOW yourself to be a REBOUND, you need to be cautiously optimistic because a rebound relationship is almost ALWAYS sure to disappoint one party or the next.

People who go from relationships straight into dating new people without ANY time for genuflection are what I call ‘Kevin LOVERS.’

Kevin Love is arguably the BEST rebounder in the NBA today, and his propensity for snagging every loose ball that comes off the rim and backboard is akin to some people’s ability to scoop up fresh dates with no regard, RIGHT after their last relationship wounds are still fresh and open.

The problem with people fresh out of relationships who don’t take adequate time away from sex and dating to focus on healing themselves and figuring out what they truly want before hooking up with new people, is that they are entering the scene inherently BROKEN. Kevin LOVERS don’t really understand their exact mental and emotional headspace, nor are they are in a good position to adequately judge and perceive if the person they are rebounding with is truly a worthwhile personal-investment, or someone only worth a couple of good nights. But even though they are emotionally compromised, MOST rebounders will make ONE simple, half-cogent, yet surprisingly lucid statement about their intentions: “I’m just looking to have fun.”

Ladies and gentlemen, if you are dating a rebounder and they state they’re looking for fun, it means she wants stress-free richard or he wants pressure-free nani. If you are unable to provide them with that, then YOUR ASS should NOT be dating a rebounder. Rebounding-ass women just want a D*ck-In-A-Glass-Case they can break in case of a Vaginal Emergency [as stated by Chris Rock] and Rebounding-ass men just want to get some head in the parking lot of Red Lobster without some chick asking him “where do you see this relationship going?”

And you know WHY he hates that question? Because his ass LOVES not knowing [same for rebounding women as well].

Look, as grown adults, we should all know what serious, monogamous relationships entail: It’s a long, emotionally-trying, arduous, ecstatic, depressing roller-coaster of passion and anger. Once you leave a particularly bad, or sad or unfortunate relationship, you are completely SPENT and the last thing you [should] want to do is be inundated with ALL of those emotions all over again RIGHT AWAY. And herein lies the problem with people who DATE rebounders – they typically ask for WAY more than the other person can truly provide – which is why y’all need to RELAX yourselves and go with their flow OR realize that you deserve someone more SERIOUS and avoid ‘Kevin Lovers’ altogether.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    10/01/2012 at 5:58 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, Do You Think A GOOD, High-Quality Relationship Can Originate From A Rebound Relationship Or Should Rebounds Just Be Kept Casual?

    • ChloeRayne516

      10/01/2012 at 1:06 PM

      There are some people who are always looking to be in a relationship therefore they are quick to jump into another one although they may have finally cleaned out their extra drawer space from the last one. So I would have to say YES a relationship can come from a rebound depending on what kind of person he/she is… But here's the downfall though:!!!! there is a high probability you will get put through the ringer in dealing with that rebounder before getting to the good part of the relationship with that person because although they may not be ready to fully have a healthy relationship that hopeless romantic part of them WILL NOT let them stay single, so it's up to you to know what you can or cannot handle/deal with and act accordingly.

  2. petersburgh

    10/01/2012 at 6:53 AM

    I think it is possible but highly unlikely. I've seen it happen before so I can say that freely but I wouldn't advise anyone to go wholeheartedly into one. I've recently come out of a relationship and my mind is so far from dating or anything of the sort so I warn off people very quickly.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      10/01/2012 at 7:54 AM

      Agreed. I have seen it too, but I would never ADVISE someone to start a relationship in that manner.

  3. singleislandgal

    10/01/2012 at 7:40 AM

    It's unlikely. But keep in mind that you have some dishonest men out there that wouldn't be honest with you about when they came out of a relationship. So as a woman you're reading this man is entirely broken but you can't figure out from when until you realized he lied…so it gets complicated.

    • Celina

      10/01/2012 at 7:51 AM

      Truth… somehow it changes from "We haven't talked since November" to "We just had a big blow up 2 months ago!" (One month into the new "relationship") The lies ppl tell just to get a li'l sumn never cease to amaze me…

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        10/01/2012 at 7:57 AM

        Let's not confuse cheaters and liars with rebounders automatically tho. Not all rebounders are dishonest douchebags.

        • ChloeRayne516

          10/01/2012 at 1:23 PM

          "Not all rebounders are dishonest douchebags."

          Exactlyy!!!! Whether they are telling you through their words OR actions, you will be able to see where they are TRULY coming from if you just pay attention. Notice that said "OR" I didn't say "AND"…..9 times outta 10 a rebounder actions AND words will NOT align with each other, they may do one or the other BUT NOT BOTH at the SameDamnTime and this is the tricky part that usually keeps that person holding on for dear life in that situationship because they are too busy trying to decipher all the mixed signals therefore rationalizing and making excuses instead of just cutting their losses from the rebounder.

          • lincolnanthonyblades

            10/01/2012 at 3:57 PM

            EXACTLY! Sometimes you just need to call it what it is and keep it moving before too much of your heart is invested.

        • singleislandgal

          10/04/2012 at 2:28 AM

          I'm not getting it confused. Because you're not a cheater IF you're not in a relationship. And that's what my point is, how do you know you're a rebounder if the person isn't honest about when he came out of a relationship? He's telling you a year and a half ago but really it hasn't been more than 5 months..

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      10/01/2012 at 7:56 AM

      Agreed. There are definitely men out there, although many men love telling women they just got out of a relationship because it's the perfect way to get the nani while still being able to rely on the excuse of "not being ready" to get serious.

      At the end of the day tho, women need to just check dudes on the shit they say and protect themselves.

      • Celina

        10/01/2012 at 8:12 AM

        I agree, but sometimes it's pointless because the guy won't take responsibility for his lies/actions.

        • Paul B.

          10/01/2012 at 9:43 AM

          It's never pointless because you have the option to walk away from it all. You're never responsible for the choices another makes, but you are responsible for what you choose to do afterwards.

          • Celina

            10/01/2012 at 10:15 AM

            Well said.

  4. cbrown

    10/03/2012 at 2:17 PM


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