The #1 Reason Women Should NEVER “Date Down”

Nooooo don’t do it, please don’t do it…

*[PLEASE NOTE: This post is NOT exclusively about, or limited solely to, women who date men who make LESS money than them. If that’s your ONLY concept or standard of “dating down” in a romantic relationship, you’re an IDIOT.]*

If there’s ONE thing I see women doing FAR too much of these days, it’s HOPE dating. This is when a woman meets a man with whom she shares an immediate and intense connection with, who presently isn’t worth a DAMN as a positive potential dating partner, and then gives him a chance NOT based on who he is or even a realistic assessment of WHAT he is, but based upon who she HOPES he can be. Many women end up dating men like this because she feels this guy, with whom she shares a great connection with, is really just a couple TWEAKS away from being the “perfect man” for her. Unfortunately those TWEAKS aren’t as slight as she may THINK they are – like trying to convince a lazy bastard to get some motivation, a playa to stop cheating and a 39 year-old rapper/producer to stop thinking he’s the next 2 Chainz.

HOPE dating results in “Dating down” which is essentially what good, high-quality, women of substance do when they decide to take on a PROJECT instead of finding a man who is on her intrinsic level of worth [once again, GREATER than just finance]. But there is a rarely discussed side of “dating down” that I want to bring up today: The psyches of the women who decide to HOPE date. We often look at women who date down as being sweet, innocent and generally loving women who just want to meet a good man that will treat her good and be a decent significant other to her – but here’s the REALITY: Women who date down, as sweet and altruistic as they MAY be, are often suffering from an innate GOD-complex which makes them believe that have the ability to show some FROWSY-acting man the light, change him where every other woman before her FAILED and then shape him into the man she WISHES he can be [also called Unique P*ssy Disease which is detailed extensively HERE].

One part of her GOD complex is based on the ideology that the man she’s with will be so ENAMOURED with her desire and effort to see him do better, that he will realize how FROWSY he TRULY is, put his head down, and work towards extreme self-improvement. Then when he achieves his goal, he will PRAISE HER FROM KILLAMANJARO MOUNTAIN for changing his ENTIRE LIFE. But that’s simply what does NOT happen, which brings me to my point: The #1 reason a woman should NEVER “date down” is because the man will LOSE respect for you RIGHT from the jump – and the further you date down, the MORE respect he will lose for you.

As a man with more than a FEW musty-friends, the one sentiment that always KILLS me every time I hear them say it, is how STUPID women are for putting up with their BS. These are guys who constantly get caught lying and cheating, who are generally unmotivated and stubborn, and guys who are no where NEAR living up to their potential as men. They KNOW they aren’t good men, and they KNOW that she deserves a LOT better, BUT you must be naive as hell if you think they are going to reveal ANY of that to her.

As much as they understand WHAT she’s trying to achieve, they simply DON’T RESPECT HER, because she choose THEM. Isn’t that a hilarious concept? Instead of being grateful, they think it’s LAUGHABLE that a smart, gorgeous woman is investing her time and effort into HIM. Ladies, there is NO appreciation at the end of the rainbow with this DOUCHEBAG – just more hard d*ck, soft lies and bubblegum.

But here’s the actual SAD part of this scenario: While these high-quality women try to turn a lousy dude into a grown-ass man, they are missing the high-quality men. If these women stopped HOPE-DATING for a second, they may have learned an important fact about GOOD men: You don’t HAVE to FORCE them to be better, because your mere presence alone will generate that change in them.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.