When I found out that George Lucas proposed to his longtime girlfriend, Mellody Hobson, a myriad of different thoughts ran through my head. First, I wondered what would make a 68-year old billionaire decide to get married in the first place? Then I wondered when George and Mellody’s 25 year difference in age would become a problematic factor, if ever? I even wondered if fine-ass Mellody ever cringed at the reality of having to juggle his geriatric balls in her mouth or if she just used copious amounts of rum to get through those moments? Of all the thoughts that ran through my head, the one concept I didn’t give one, single solitary F*^K about was the fact that they are an interracial couple. It just doesn’t matter to me at all, and I’m sure they don’t give a damn either – but it’s funny to see the hypocrisy of the people who DO.
On many different sites I’ve heard people praise this couple as being so beautifully matched, and thanking the lord for bringing them together. People rave about his financial and business success, while also propagating Mellody as a strong, beautiful woman who deserved nothing less than being labelled a wife. For a moment we all took a second to analyze their intrinsic characters and judge their union based on their compatibility and personal positive attributes. As I wrote about weeks ago, we KNOW Black love is NOT in dire straits as some people would have you believe, plus I’m an advocate of dating who you love in your heart, not just who shares the same racial background as you. So I have no problem celebrating their love, but reading the massive amount of positive comments actually made me feel a little weird – and here’s why:
Because this outpouring of love is indicative of the large amount of love and support Black woman/White man couples receive from OUR community, which is directly contrasted by the abject HATE and DISGUST Black man/White woman couples get.
The reason I realized this so starkly, is because earlier this week two events happened that drew the ire of OUR community in our full anti-intellectual anti-interracial rage. Just a few days earlier those same sites featured a lot of interracial bashing comments started by the SAME people supporting Lucas, in reference to Kimye, Cuba Gooding & Taye Diggs (who both recently celebrated birthdays), and Vanessa Bryant’s comments about “shooting in the gym.” The commenters RIPPED into interracial dating, not just these individual men’s choices, but the concept of it as a WHOLE. So explain to me how IR dating is COOL when it’s a Black woman, but when a Black man does it he’s a sell-out and a “corny brother”? Well, to be honest, I don’t expect anyone to adequately defend hypocrisy so I won’t hold my breath.
Now I’ll be the first to say that SOMETIMES I notice white dudes tend to exercise better taste and judgement in Black women, than Black men do in white women, but for the most part it’s pretty even – it just doesn’t seem that way because we never take time to adequately parse many of these white women’s characters. We just start calling them offensive sh*t like Becky and assume there is a nefarious undertone to their coupling. But when Black women date White men, we are MORE than willing to entertain the thought of them being perfectly aligned as a couple without prejudice.
The truth is, our collective positive societal reaction to George and Mellody’s engagement should be a more regular reaction. We should see a couple, gauge if they have an honest and real love for each other, and then develop an unbiased opinion about them. But then again, I have an even BETTER idea: Until we learn how NOT to be judgemental and prejudice DOUCHEBAGS, we probably should refrain from trying to judge other people’s relationships as if we actually know them.
This Is Your Conscience