Interracial Couples Are CUTE – Well, Unless It’s A BLACK Man

When I found out that George Lucas proposed to his longtime girlfriend, Mellody Hobson, a myriad of different thoughts ran through my head. First, I wondered what would make a 68-year old billionaire decide to get married in the first place? Then I wondered when George and Mellody’s 25 year difference in age would become a problematic factor, if ever? I even wondered if fine-ass Mellody ever cringed at the reality of having to juggle his geriatric balls in her mouth or if she just used copious amounts of rum to get through those moments? Of all the thoughts that ran through my head, the one concept I didn’t give one, single solitary F*^K about was the fact that they are an interracial couple. It just doesn’t matter to me at all, and I’m sure they don’t give a damn either – but it’s funny to see the hypocrisy of the people who DO.

On many different sites I’ve heard people praise this couple as being so beautifully matched, and thanking the lord for bringing them together. People rave about his financial and business success, while also propagating Mellody as a strong, beautiful woman who deserved nothing less than being labelled a wife. For a moment we all took a second to analyze their intrinsic characters and judge their union based on their compatibility and personal positive attributes. As I wrote about weeks ago, we KNOW Black love is NOT in dire straits as some people would have you believe, plus I’m an advocate of dating who you love in your heart, not just who shares the same racial background as you. So I have no problem celebrating their love, but reading the massive amount of positive comments actually made me feel a little weird – and here’s why:

Because this outpouring of love is indicative of the large amount of love and support Black woman/White man couples receive from OUR community, which is directly contrasted by the abject HATE and DISGUST Black man/White woman couples get.

The reason I realized this so starkly, is because earlier this week two events happened that drew the ire of OUR community in our full anti-intellectual anti-interracial rage. Just a few days earlier those same sites featured a lot of interracial bashing comments started by the SAME people supporting Lucas, in reference to Kimye, Cuba Gooding & Taye Diggs (who both recently celebrated birthdays), and Vanessa Bryant’s comments about “shooting in the gym.” The commenters RIPPED into interracial dating, not just these individual men’s choices, but the concept of it as a WHOLE. So explain to me how IR dating is COOL when it’s a Black woman, but when a Black man does it he’s a sell-out and a “corny brother”? Well, to be honest, I don’t expect anyone to adequately defend hypocrisy so I won’t hold my breath.

Now I’ll be the first to say that SOMETIMES I notice white dudes tend to exercise better taste and judgement in Black women, than Black men do in white women, but for the most part it’s pretty even – it just doesn’t seem that way because we never take time to adequately parse many of these white women’s characters. We just start calling them offensive sh*t like Becky and assume there is a nefarious undertone to their coupling. But when Black women date White men, we are MORE than willing to entertain the thought of them being perfectly aligned as a couple without prejudice.

The truth is, our collective positive societal reaction to George and Mellody’s engagement should be a more regular reaction. We should see a couple, gauge if they have an honest and real love for each other, and then develop an unbiased opinion about them. But then again, I have an even BETTER idea: Until we learn how NOT to be judgemental and prejudice DOUCHEBAGS, we probably should refrain from trying to judge other people’s relationships as if we actually know them.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

51 Comments

  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    01/04/2013 at 5:42 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, do you think our community judges Black woman/White man relationships a lot fairer than we do Black man/white woman couplings?

    • petersburgh

      01/04/2013 at 6:43 AM

      I'll put it as simple as I see it Lincoln. When a black man dates a white woman, the "black" community loses but when a black woman dates a white man, well you do the math. I don't think black men see black as ugly (as loveBlackMen sees it and that is in her experience/ opinion) but I do think we are perceived as thinking that every time we date a white woman.

      I went to Harbour Lights (a club mostly frequented by whites here in Barbados) for Old Years and saw and extremely attractive white girl(she had a butt ppl) lol and I put as my BB status I just saw a white girl I would marry. Now I have done this before stating I would marry a black girl and nobody commented, laughed or anything of the sort but if I told you how many people messaged me asking me if I gone mad, what's wrong with me, what she has that a black woman doesn't you wouldn't believe it. I saw it clear that if I fell in love with a white girl now I'd be in trouble. It's the mindset we have and I can't deny that some black people don't like black people but I think a lot of it is just conjecture

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        01/04/2013 at 2:34 PM

        GOOD DAMN POINT!

    • Andy

      01/31/2014 at 2:11 PM

      Black Women/White Men pairings don't get the vile venom that Black Men/White Women couples get. Just look at the freaking cheerios commercial that sparked so much hate. The cute biracial daughter of a Black Man and a White Women, who by the way shared NO SCENCES together. If the roles were reversed and it was a BW/WM, I bet all my savings that no one would say a word and it would be labeled as "a cute commercial"

      It seems that BW/WM are aloud to be happy, but BM/WW should not be allowed to date each other. In honesty I blame this all on White Men. They created the double standards. They think they should be allowed to date ANY WOMAN in every race, but pressure White Women to date WHITE GUYS ONLY. What hypocritical scumbags. Being a guy of mixed heritage, I have encountered this personally.

      I see a lot of Black Men saying Black Women don't want BM with WW, but I disagree. It's White Men that disown their daughters for dating Black men. I have never heard of Black women disowning their sons for dating White Women…Never. Also since I mentioned the cheerios ad getting racist comments, Black Women were actually defending the commercial. It was those racist white men that cause the comments to be closed.

      So yes interracial relations is wrong for black men, because White Men think it's wrong.

  2. LoveBlackMen

    01/04/2013 at 5:57 AM

    I think that Black men get slack because many of them consider white as beautiful and black as ugly. As an educated black woman, many black men have told me "you're pretty for a black girl!" What the heck is that supposed to mean? And many of those men will be caught with any other race beside a black woman.

    Don't get me wrong, I love Black men, but due to the images that they see in the media, I am no longer their first choice especially since white women are surgically adding curves they never had before. I am dating interracially at the moment after 5 years of trying to lock down a black man. We come across angry black men on a consistent basis. I always wonder would they even date me, cause I was never first choice as a beautiful black woman. You don't want me but you don't want him to want me either? Seems like a double standard.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      01/04/2013 at 1:48 PM

      The problem I have with your comment is that you continually us Black men as a seemless group instead of a collection of individuals. I've never consider black ugly, or told a woman you're pretty for a Black girl. I've never relegated Black women to second choice, nor am I angry.

      My problem with this entire discussion is the fact that Black men rarely get the benefit of the doubt as individuals. We say things like "look how many athletes are dating white women!" Instead of asking why Tim Duncan individually chose his woman who happens to be white, and why RG3 chose his fiance who happens to be white. We just assume they "sold out" and that's what's sad about this whole thing.

    • MistaHarsh

      01/04/2013 at 9:28 PM

      If you continue to have that hang up about black men you will never find a black man worth keeping. There are more black men marrying black women than any other race. Your goalshould be trying to find that black man and to stop concerning yourself with people who you detest anyways.

      How do I react to a black women who only dates whites? I say peace cause you aint the one I'm looking for. Try it sometime

  3. GrandCentral

    01/04/2013 at 6:21 AM

    Yeah, I don't care. I believe in love. Melody is a bad chick. She is major in the finance community. I've followed her for a while.

    On the double standard….here is goes, and please don't come after me because I don't believe this bullshit at all, but this is what I've heard. The reason a black woman is praised is because all of these black men out here are turning their backs on black women, so it's wonderful to see that she still had a chance at love, because she was a fearless strong black women who didn't let eve be a factor.

    I cringe when I hear stuff like this. Black men dating outside of their race doesn't bother me, only when he does so and is so insecure with his choice that he feels the need to justify it, and decides to bash black women. That's when I have a problem. (ie. Brian White)

    If he says something like I don't date black women because…. Then I have a problem. I know black men (plenty of them in my family) who dated a plethora of girls across the rainbow and decided on marrying outside of their race or even a black woman. That I can rock with. People also forget about geography and other circumstances that aide in love, but that's a different story for another day.

    It's 2013. Come on people.

    • Smilez_920

      01/04/2013 at 7:30 AM

      I agree with you. Especially on the geography point . Like on Ny I do see quite few black guys with Spanish women. Or like in the music / film industry or sports , of course some of the black men in that industry won't be with a black woman because theirs a variety of women to date , since the majority of the women in Hollywood are non-black its more than likely a black man in that industry is going to date within the industry and possibly end up with a white woman.

      I just think ( and we have to be honest) non-black beauty is out on a pedestal. I mean I think most black athlets have black gf and wives but it seems like it's always the one with the non-black woman ( or very exotic black woman like an Ameria ) who is all in the spot light. So it gives this impression that when black men go to the other side it's because their some flaw with blk women. And it doesn't help when black men say dumb ish like " black women be gold digging , or black women don't this that and the third like those negative traits can't be found in women of any race.

      I mean date who you want blk man, but don't try to through blk women under the bus to do it and vice versa .

      • GrandCentral

        01/04/2013 at 11:20 AM

        Exactly. That's my thing. Don't try to bring us down or affix us to negative stereotypes. That's what upsets me. Other than that, rock on.

  4. Celina

    01/04/2013 at 6:38 AM

    I think it's been and continues to be quite the opposite. I totally agree with LoveBlackMen when she says that a lot of the black men who date white women tend to put white women on a pedestal over black women. I use the term white women loosely to encompass any race that is of the fairer skin variety since I'm fully aware that this isn't limited to women of european descent. I can't count the amount of times I've heard some random black man go off about how black women don't know how to act, black women don't work out/they're fat and out of shape, black women have multiple baby daddies, black women don't wear their own hair, black women aren't submissive, they lack ambition but expect to be spoiled financially, etc. all while saying that white women have all of these qualities and more. Plus, I can't count how many times I've seen black men throw their long term black girlfriends to the wayside to date a white woman once they've hit success. It doesn't help that some white women buy into this mindset and start echoing these same sentiments that were started by black men, claiming that they can't help the fact that they're "better" and the "preferred choice" and that maybe black women need to "step their game up" so they can stop losing their men. Comments like those have created unnecessary animosity and It only takes a few ignorant people to leave a sour taste in people's mouths. While I'm fully aware that people who have that mindset are not the majority, we live in a society that is inclined to give attention to negative behaviour over positive.

    I think black women are only recently beginning to feel more comfortable dating outside of their race and they definitely get a lot of heat mainly from black men and older white people. I've been out with my white ex boyfriend and received looks from black men who would never even look in my direction on any other day. I've had an old white couple make comments towards us for standing close to each other on public transportation. I've been surprised to be on the receiving end of a few dirty looks from a group of white women sitting across from us at a bar, which is contrary to the stereotype that black women hate white women for "taking their men". I personally don't mind if white women date black men, but don't try to put me or any other black woman down in the process!

    • mena

      01/04/2013 at 7:03 AM

      Last sentence of first paragraph says everything.

      Here's what I've noticed and can only speak for myself, I applaud black women for dating outside of their race simply bc they are deciding to date who they like and not who society tells them to be with. Mostly, these black women don't look at it as an upgrade but just simply finding someone who is an equal regardless of race. The black men that I have seen and talked to who date outside of their race have all said something along the lines of her hair being pretty (no lie) or what she can do for him. Black women (including myself) have done so bc we happened to find an equal match in another race. I've never heard (though others may have) that its bc his complexion is light, he'll give me pretty kids, or bc he knows his place. It's almost like the criteria is different and possibly bc men and women choose different qualities in each other.

      It's what Celina said in finally being comfortable in your skin.

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        01/04/2013 at 2:04 PM

        Too much generalizations and stereotypes in tis answer. We don't know everyone's mental mind states to make comments like this. It's just not accurate.

        • mena

          01/04/2013 at 4:17 PM

          I said the people I've spoken with. You may not like the answer but this is my experience and what I have seen.

      • MistaHarsh

        01/04/2013 at 9:37 PM

         "The black men that I have seen and talked to who date outside of their race have all said something along the lines of her hair being pretty (no lie) or what she can do for him"

        ^^^For someone who is very selective about who they interact/hang with or what information you allow yourself to be exposed to(based on your past comments) I find it strange that you hang around black men who would say something so ignorant.

        • mena

          01/04/2013 at 10:47 PM

          Trust and believe they received a hard side eye and talking to. I've said some ignorant things as well in front of them and they have corrected me. I hang around smart people but I won't always agree with what they say. I am sure you have experienced the same thing every once in a while.

    • Smilez_920

      01/04/2013 at 7:14 AM

      +1000 . I remember having a conversation about RG3 and his white Fiancé. Now I personally don't care who he dates. But one of the blk guys at my job allude to the fact that black women only want guys like that for their money and that white omen families have a little but of money so a " blk guy" on RG3 level wouldn't have to be worried about being used for money

      0_0 these white women don't want your tail when your broke and struggling either . It's like some black men try to guilt trip blk women into feeling like we're asking for to much when we ask them to meet the same requirements that any woman of any other race would want ten to meet.

      Honestly for every George Lucas situation there's probably 5 Eddie Murphy situation and out of those 5 two of the brothers are like Taye Diggs . ( he slammed blk women in this one intervies when they asked him about his interracial relationship. )

      I was on clutch and they did a article about Micheal Ealy getting married and being off the market. His wife is t black. Now personally idc who he's with black or white ( I'm just mad he's not available) but as a fan of his work most of the love interest in his movies are black, his audience and big group of supporters are black women, so it kind of a little blow to the fantasy when you hear that he's not only taken but that his wife isn't black. Now do I care or hate him for it, No of course not.

      • mena

        01/04/2013 at 8:22 AM

        Ealy and his wife look like cousins and like usually attracts like.

        • SMilez_920

          01/04/2013 at 8:55 AM

          IDK I though opposites attract (I think he might be mixed though), but still I think with a lot of popular black actors (especially ones that start as the romantic heart throb in black films) it kind of puts a damper on the fantasy when their only with a black women on film but in real life the only see them with non-black women.

          Like a lot of black women were loving Taye Diggs and even Brian White, those men careers (at least Taye Diggs) came from being the heart throb in Black films’ , then the tired to through black women under the bus. To me if you don’t like us so much see what white man will give you a role as a black man with a white wife or gf…. but don’t be wish washy

          Now it doesn’t hurt my feelings, I don’t personally think all men with non- black girlfriends or wives have some type of hate against themselves or black women. Most of the time the just meet and click.

          • MistaHarsh

            01/04/2013 at 8:49 PM

            You should be a fan of his acting and expect nothing else from him on a personal level. This is equivalent to people sayinv Rihanna is a role model and needs to present a certain image in her personal life. In addition its mostly minority women who put these people on a pedestal without even knowing how these public figures get down in real life which leads to unrealistic expectations and ultimately heartbreak and perceived betrayal

      • lincolnanthonyblades

        01/04/2013 at 2:07 PM

        RG3 is a PERFECT example. He got called a "corny brother" on ESPN by a Black man for being with her and that's how many Black women and men in our community think. No one even cares to know anything about her or their relationship, we just label him corny.

        Black women do NOT get the same backlash when they date outside of their race. Look at EVERY comment on all these different blogs about George Lucas' marriage and I bet you will be HARD PRESSED to find the AMOUNT of hatred that RG3's and Tim Duncan's receive.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      01/04/2013 at 2:00 PM

      Of course not everybody is going to support all different types of relationships, but if we're being honest right now, Black women will ALWAYS be asked the question of why she chose to date a white man – Black men aren't even given that anymore.

      No one asks, nor do they care, why a certain Black man is with a white woman, he just is labelled a self-hating sell out and they move on. No one asks how they met or if they have similar personalities – they just label him as hating Black women. If we're being honest, Black women do not face that on the same scale as Black men.

      • Celina

        01/04/2013 at 2:40 PM

        I think that's an extremely broad generalization to make to say that black men are never asked why they choose to date white women. It's obvious that at some point their opinion has been solicited and the result was complete ignorance and hatred towards black women on more than one occasion. There are Uncle Ruckus type individuals walking this earth that are making it bad for everyone.

        Not to mention, black women who date outside of their race are also labelled as self loathing sell outs , or the assumption is that she's gold digging, social climbing or going for a white man because no black man wants her. Women are viewed as property more often than men are and the mentality I've seen from a lot of black men is 'even if I don't want to play with this toy (black woman) because I'm too busy playing with THIS toy (white woman) nobody is allowed to touch the toy I've set down lest I decide to come back to it'. God forbid someone of a different race chooses to pick up said black woman and treat her with some love and respect because she's supposed to be some ratchet hood rat that can't be taken anywhere and undesirable as a result. Let's be honest, black women are the contingency plan for a lot of black men and we face the same scale, if not a harsher one than what black men face because a lot of times we're treated like property/cattle.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          01/04/2013 at 3:54 PM

          In all fairness, 95% of the comments in this thread have been broad generalizations. The truth is, most Black people feel they ALREADY know why a certain Black man dates a white woman and most of these comments prove that. When we see a Black man walking with a white woman, there's NOT a gang of people saying "Hey I wonder if they are a good mental and emotional match and share many things in common?" They ASSUME he HATES himself and/or Black women on a whole. To say that Black women face that ignorance AS MUCH as Black men do is simply not true in my opinion.

          Black women who date outside of their race are labelled many things. There's ignorant people who will label anyone. I'm NOT saying that Black women face no difficulties in dating interracially.

          But to make a statement like Black women are the contingency plan for a lot of Black males is just simply not true. It's not true empirically, statistically or realistically.

        • mena

          01/04/2013 at 4:36 PM

          A lot of truth in this comment.

  5. Smilez_920

    01/04/2013 at 7:43 AM

    @ Mena hit it right on the head in the comment above. Not that there are no blk women with " pretty baby syndrome ". But it's like black men talk about dating outside of their race, they see it as an upgrade like , black women are good until they can get better. It could be anythin from a black woman's look's or attitude or whatever some black men really do put other races of women on a pedestal, even when they have a black woman on their arm.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      01/04/2013 at 1:55 PM

      Why are the thoughts of a few continually used to represent the thoughts of the mass of Black men when the stats don't even support those thoughts as being accurate?

      • Smilez_920

        01/04/2013 at 2:24 PM

        Linc no one said all black men, I didn’t say that all black men out there like this, but lets not act like the ones who fit the model that the women on this site are describing don’t exist.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          01/04/2013 at 2:36 PM

          I'm not saying those men don't exist, but statistically and realistically they are no where NEAR the majority so it's pointless to bring them up. The problem we have in our community is that EVERY Black guy gets that accusation when he starts to date a white woman. It's not equal at all.

          • mena

            01/04/2013 at 4:21 PM

            So why did you write about this topic? To have everyone cosign your point or to receive a different perspective?

      • Celina

        01/04/2013 at 2:49 PM

        Because unfortunately, empty vessels make the most noise.

  6. Keisha

    01/04/2013 at 8:23 AM

    I never take anything anyone is saying in the comments section seriously, I only go there for jokes. In any case, I don't thing you have a case here, Lincoln, especially with references to only to George Lucas and Mellody, and Eddie Murphy and- sorry, I don't know her name. With the former couple, you have a well accomplished man with a good track record marrying a woman who has also achieved a lot on her own. And let's no forget that successful black women are protrayed to have the most difficulty finding love and getting married so I believe this all factors into congratulatory statements outweighing negative ones. Mind you, black or white women rarely aren't subjected to an onslaught of negative remarks from the 'black community' (I don't believe anything online is reflective of said community) when entering a relationship with someone famous without their own success. To Be Cont…

  7. Keisha

    01/04/2013 at 8:24 AM

    Shade was thrown at Lala and Lebron's girl, but I don't recall anyone having an issue with Seal and Heidi- in happier times. Oh, let me not forget my Eddie Murphy point. Public opinion of Murphy has loooonnnnng plummeted with his refusal to claim his child with crazy spice (I'm horrible with names). Everyone was just waiting for some crap to talk about and even before this new chick people were talking shit about that other chick from 106 park who hooked up with him. This is what people online do. It's not nice but when it's witty stuff, it's worth a good chuckle on boring cold winter nights.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      01/04/2013 at 1:54 PM

      Forget the references because our daily lives speak more truth to my point than celebrity ever could. If we are stating that a Black male walking around with a white woman, is the same socially as the reverse, I simply disagree. I've RARELY heard a collective round of applause from our ENTIRE Black community when Black men marry white women..RARELY.

      And everyone MAGICALLY seems to know WHY he did it. It's either because:

      – He hates Black women
      – White women are gold-diggers
      – He hates himself
      – She's a trashy hoe but that's acceptable because she's white..

      I've heard all TYPES of bullshit, and NO ONE just asks: "Hey, how did they fall in love and what do they have in common?"

      • sMilez_920

        01/04/2013 at 2:28 PM

        Black women get negative remarks when they are with men of a different race. If we dont get it from our own poeple trust, we will hear it from the other side.

        • lincolnanthonyblades

          01/04/2013 at 2:37 PM

          I didn't say Black women don't, but my point is based on the scale of the comments. Black women simply are NOT as accosted for going interracial on the same level as Black men.

      • Smilez_920

        01/04/2013 at 2:39 PM

        And trust if there is a black woman with a white suppose and she starts talking all of that "brother’s aint this and that" stuff she would get as much flack. The thing is there are brother's who see having a non-black woman as a prize, something special , something unique, something better than black, something that you get when you move up in the world. I didn’t agree with what the commentator said about RG3, like you said he could just simply love her. But lets not act like there aren’t brother’s flaunting their exotic non black women as trophies, or running around talking about how black women aren’t this that and the third, so they have a white woman.

      • Keisha

        01/04/2013 at 10:46 PM

        I'm just trying to answer your question without being ridiculous with generalizations because there seem to be plenty of that going around. I can't possible take this seriously when you say something like:

        "Because this outpouring of love is indicative of the large amount of love and support Black woman/White man couples receive from OUR community, which is directly contrasted by the abject HATE and DISGUST Black man/White woman couples get?"

        That's crazy to me when you're using comments made online to make your point and I NEVER knew showing people love could be misconstrued as anything negative. Call it critical thinking or whatever the hell intellects want to call it these days but that's just a whole lot generalizing bs to me.
        To Be Cont…

      • Keisha

        01/04/2013 at 10:47 PM

        Cont… You keep insisting that the black men that put black women down in favour of lusting after white women are the minority, so why can't the same be said for the black women hating? If black women are so quick to make it such an issue, I'd imagine a lot of angry black grandmothers refusing to see their biracial grandbabies and not talking to their sons or daughters-in-law, do you see this happening? How about black aunties? I just think you're making a big deal out of a minor issue, especially since this so-called hatred hasn't stopped black folks from mixing with other races for years now. Heck, it's the only race that fully embraces those with parents of different racial backgrounds. Hey, folks that thrive on negativity will continue to do so until they realize no one is listen then they have no choice but to shut up.

        • MistaHarsh

          01/05/2013 at 12:28 AM

          Heck, it's the only race that fully embraces those with parents of different racial backgrounds

          ^^^^HUGE generalisation

          • Keisha

            01/05/2013 at 1:04 AM

            Guilty. My bad, but I do think the black community has been very willing in embracing people who identify with being black and not having two parents that are black. Am I still wrong? I think this is a positive we can't overlook.

  8. Vicky

    01/04/2013 at 2:02 PM

    The ignorant comments that come from black men about black women has caused black women off of interracial dating or cringe when they see a black man with another race. Ignorant white women follow what they say because they are stupid, and naive.

    However, there are black men who have NO preference in the race of their women, like plenty of women who have no race of their men. I don't have a problem with it, unless you are a part of the ignorant group as explained above. There is good, bad and ugly in EVERY race. It's an individual thing, not a race one!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      01/04/2013 at 2:39 PM

      Agreed, but I would also like to add that ignorant comments come from a LOT of Black women's mouths too when they decide to date interracially. Not too long ago Serena Williams said ALL Black men are "too ghetto" as if we ALL grew up beside her in Compton.

      • Vicky

        01/11/2013 at 1:17 PM

        Late response – I will agree that WOMEN who date interracial feel that they can say ignorant comments because they are "good" with the opposite race. How many times have you heard a white woman say "I'm not racist, my child is half ___________" (insert any race in here)?

  9. mena

    01/04/2013 at 4:33 PM

    So this post was more about the oppression Olympics and i shouldn't have taken part in it. I thought you wanted an answer to your question which most people answered without saying yes or no and giving reasons why some black women feel the way they do about dating white guys and our perspectives on that.

    Both sides catch it. Again, as Keisha pointed out, you can expect for social media to be a depiction of the whole. Most people that comment on black social media sites are women so of course your perspective may be scewed. I have received looks, stares, words for hanging out/dating white guys. I have been judged. Black men who date white women have been judged as well. It is my assumption that black dudes probably don't care who other black men date and black women don't care who other black women date. In all honesty, both sides are probably giving their own a head nod or words of encouragement if the person of the other race is bad enough.

    Let's not sit here and talk about who has it worse. Both women and men get judged for their dating choices and we have ALL done it…even if just for a second especially if the person is hot and has their shit together.

  10. bellatrice1

    01/04/2013 at 7:01 PM

    To tell you the truth, when I saw the woman Eddie was dating, I figured he's dating her bc she's young a beautiful, and he's geriatric. Plus, Eddie dates ALL races. I didn't care that she was White. He' doesn't discriminate, and if I'm correct, if Blk women do throw shade on a BM-WW interracial rel, its only bc that guy is notorious for dating outside his race, excluding only his own or he puts Blk women down to justify dating outside his race.

    At the end of the day, all we have to go off of is the physical when wondering why one person dates or finds another person attractive. Linc, when you're out and about and you see an attractive lady, you don't think about how wonderful her personality might be or whether she's got a lot going for herself. Most ppl don't.

  11. Maris

    01/05/2013 at 6:11 PM

    I’m going to keep it 100. The reason Lucas, Ebert, DeNiro and other WM of their social standing get props from the community is because their status gives them options. Period. They could have had any numbers of “American standard” beauties and they chose women that, though gorgeous, likely aren’t topping “sexiest wag” lists-and we know it is because they are black. Those men chose their women and, MADE THEM WIVES. It gives me a bit of a boost that “my” beauty and qualities are praised by a person that could’ve had any mainstream beauty he wanted.

    SOME Black men have achieved higher social standing. They chose the most “mainstream” beauty they could find. Then they get their Wesley Snipes/DL Hughley on and tell the media “why”. Sorry if I don’t get the same warm feelings.

    • cynicaloptmst81

      01/07/2013 at 10:23 AM

      Slam.DUNK!

      *applause*

  12. Adonis

    01/17/2013 at 4:14 AM

    Lincoln was spittin' the truth.

    The reality is that there is a socially unacceptable for black men to be successful and date whomever.

    Black women have always been able to date who they want & be free without being undermined like BM.

  13. Renee

    10/27/2013 at 9:50 AM

    Socially, there is a hierarchy whether you want to speak it or not. White men reign supreme to black men any day. The 1st IR relationship that allowed IR marriage (in US) was a WM who married a BW. If the reverse had been true the law being changed wouldn't have happened when it did. Professional/successful WM are openly accepted with making their personal choices in most circles. For all we know he justified how similar she is to being white.

    Lincoln, I grew up in the 70's around black men (uncles & cousins) who belittled black women to justify their new found white love. This type of sentiment continued in my young adult years (by black male peers), and to this day I still hear it. From a youth I was continuously told by black male family members of how I needed to find and marry a decent black man. I had a crush on a Hispanic boy and I was dogged for it….we weren't even dating.

    I think the BS being spewed face to face is pretty damn even. Black folks always buy into the hype of degredation and perpetuating it. Why would you want to weigh who has it worse? It's an issue that needs to be a non-issue.

  14. Truth Sayer

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