RiRi Didn’t Let Your Daughter Down – YOU DID When She Became Your Daughter’s Role Model

This past Christmas day, the Los Angeles Lakers hosted the New York Knicks at the Staples Center (In a game I told y’all the Lakers would win – I’m looking at YOU Nightfall) and besides getting to see Nash back BALLIN’, the next moment that caught my eye was seeing Chris Brown & Rihanna sitting court-side hugged up. I wasn’t too shocked because they had both given overtures to getting back together (Riri posting instagram pics of Chris laying on her hotel room bed) but it was slightly interesting that they chose such a public forum to display their love in. This is the equivalent of a Jamaican dude doing a backflip off a speakerbox and landing between a girls legs – an attention whore moment. But after checking Twitter minutes after they were spotted, I remembered something I realized a few years ago: Most people have NO F*^KING common-sense at all.

Besides all the lame and corny “that richard is too good for her to leave alone” and “guess Rihanna loves the way Chris ‘beats it up'” comments, I actually read a comment that really pissed me off. A woman, in all her self-righteous rage, had the damn nerve and gall to type: How can I be OK with Rihanna being my daughter’s role model seeing her run into the arms of the man who abused her? Upon reading that disgusting-ass tweet, all I could think was “B*tch why the hell is Rihanna your daughter’s LIFE role model? And why are you OK with it NOT being you?”

Security guard: “Damn Ri you letting this ol’ b*tch-ass nigga hit it again?! Get it? hit it!”

I think it’s more than cool for someone to have a role model in the particular field that the star excels in. If Michael Jordan is your BASKETBALL role model cool; If 50 Cent is your RAP CAREER role model cool; Hell, if Ciara is your stripper-dance role model then that’s fine too. The problem is when you start letting these characters become YOUR ENTIRE LIFE role models. If you want to shoot a fadeaway baseline jumper like MJ, then go ahead, but to idolize his ass off the basketball court is to praise a crude, self-centred, egomaniacal, terribly dressed gambler. If you don’t have the ability to separate an on screen character from your real life, then YOU have a LOT more problems then you assume Rihanna has (what’s up with Chris looking like THIS cartoon character these days?)

But what about kids? Well, if those kids are lucky enough to know at least ONE parent, it’s THAT parents’ job to make sure that their child has to look NO FURTHER than the dinner table for their role models. It’s a tough, turbulent and sometimes thankless job, but EVERY parent should strive to be THEIR child’s role model. The fact that the woman who tweeted that BS had NO SHAME about announcing her daughter’s role model as being ANYONE BUT herself is startling to me. What Riri does with her heart and her nani should mean NOTHING to her daughter, because ultimately that is outside of Rihanna’s creative expertise. Her daughter has NO business trying to gleam important life lessons on domestic abuse from two young-ass singers – not when HER MOMMA is alive and kicking and ready to impart knowledge.

So the next time you want one of your children to gain a substantive life lesson, either be the one to teach it or shut the hell up. If you let a corny ass celebrity have more sway over the precious mental mindstate of your child, that’s not a FAIL on the celebrity’s behalf, that’s YOUR parenting FAIL.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. lincolnanthonyblades

    01/02/2013 at 4:35 AM

    Ladies & Gentlemen, do you think it's a parent's JOB to try and be their childs role model?

  2. petersburgh

    01/02/2013 at 5:45 AM

    Yeah I believe a parent should always try to be their child's role model as they are the first teacher and person their child will mimic in the early days. However, in today's society being a rock star or actor or any of those Hollywood types who are glorified in the media every day, it's hard to see why children don't look up to their parents (sadly). Sometimes parents aren't seen as cool enough, dinosaurs or have no sense of fashion etc but this is no way saying the parent shouldn't try though. I can only imagine it's tough

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      01/02/2013 at 2:19 PM

      I feel you. It's definitely not easy to be your child's role model, but they should be constantly letting their child know not to start idolizing the personal lives of celebs.

  3. Smilez_920

    01/02/2013 at 7:08 AM

    I think girls/ women idealize her style and look. I think parents have to trust that they've raised their children to make good decisions. If your worried about Rihaana love life having an affect on your daughter , you need to sit down and talk to her and tell her that " while you May like Rihanna , you are not Rihanna and the choice she just made will get a regular girl like you killed".

    Unfortunately one to many girls/ women tweet dumb things like " I want that Chris brown and Rihanna love". While Ri and Chris may give them a little hope, those type of ppl where already open to disfunction Ri and Chirs didn't create that. Also lets remember RiRi is 24 years old. Most 22 ur old young women are learning how to make smart relationship decisions. Give her a break, putting pressure on her will only push her closer to Chris.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      01/02/2013 at 2:21 PM

      That boat has sailed. We all were responsible for pushing her back into Chris' arms by not letting her let their relationship die on its own accord. Everyone kept forcing them away from each other which was stupid.

  4. Jared

    01/02/2013 at 11:41 AM

    These women need too stop depending on celebs to be a role model to their child. Switch of the damn telivision and get their children to do some hobbies like ballet or some music lessons or hell even some knitting lessons. Some of these mothers never take responsibility for how their raising their child and then wonder why Shadea sucking dick in the back of the school at age 12, or why jojo is robbing and selling dope.New 2013 resolution: actually become a parent to your child!!!

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      01/02/2013 at 2:22 PM

      Women AND Men need to stop depending on celebs to be a role model to their child. You got dudes out here letting their boys idolize athletes like that's a smart idea.

  5. MistaHarsh

    01/02/2013 at 1:31 PM

    While I agree the parent should be the role model, kids are very impressionable and not many mothers can compete with RiRi's public and seemingly "no stress fabulous" persona. It does send mixed signals when a star runs to the public for sympathy and then publicly runs back to the famous abuser and then tells everyone else to mind your business while at the same time sending the same people corny pics of the abuser in your bed.

    maybe they should focus the scrutiny on these social media outlets? Maybe there should be an age restriction on who can use it. If anything its twiter/facebook/instagram who are making money and taking advantage of kids knowing they'll eat this stuff up.

    Seriously what is the meaning of sending millions of people a pic of the guy you just let smashed a minute ago? Does anyone do that in real life? Social media is one hell of a drug SMH

    • mena

      01/02/2013 at 1:46 PM

      Fully agree. Include blogs and TMZ in there as well. Where I receive my news, Rihanna isn't even on the radar. However, social media is eating this up for page views, likes, and arguments. Every once in a while I think about getting on Twitter and then realize that it's not worth it. But then again, it comes down to the people you follow and interact with on those sites.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      01/02/2013 at 2:25 PM

      Kids are also very cynical and they aren't as simple as we sometimes think they are. The truth is very few parents want to have that conversation where they detail what these celebs lives are really like. They just sit there and think it's harmless for their child to be in love with these celebs

      • MistaHarsh

        01/02/2013 at 3:45 PM

        some are cynical but how about our childhood? We were just as gullible and impressionable. You couldn't tell me Ice Cube wasn't a gangsta in the early 90s and you couldn't tell me Macho Man Randy Savage didn't talk like that in real life.

        Some parents not think that talk is neccessary and brush it off because they know its silly and hope the kids grow up but what they don't understand is how much a child's mind alters reality. Its what leads to stupid ish being done at a young age. The difference is that we have social media to capture it….speaking of which, I wonder what Katt Williams will do next….

  6. nolabels

    01/02/2013 at 1:53 PM

    One thing that I am fearing is that too many parents aren't serving an active role in their kids' lives and that they are preferring the media play a greater role rather than putting out the extra time and energy to be a role model. So this definitely speaks volumes and it's happening way too often.

    • lincolnanthonyblades

      01/02/2013 at 2:26 PM

      Exactly. A good parent should be able to influence their child's mind more than TV. Hell cut TV down then.

    • MistaHarsh

      01/02/2013 at 7:57 PM

      This is happening way too often I think it has to do with the long hours parents have to work just to make ends meet. 2-3 jobs, OT, night shifts, weekends often the parents sit their kids in front of Treehouse and leave knowing their child will stay glued to the seat. Its sad

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