I Stopped Writing About Relationships For One Year – Here’s Why I’m Back

First, allow me to apologize to the long time followers of this blog who remember when I faithfully posted at least two articles every single morning. Those days I would write at least 5 articles a week about sex, love and dating, and that became one of the main topics ThisIsYourConscience.com became known for. In fact, in many circles, that is ALL ThisIsYourConscience.com was known for, and I truly didn’t like that. I didn’t start this website to be a dating forum, but rather decided to add it as one of the topics I would frequently cover amongst the many other issues that came close to my heart, such as politics, race and socioeconomic justice.

As I began getting more into freelance writing and finding myself being commissioned by large publications to offer my thoughts on police brutality or the presidential election, I intentionally stopped writing frequently about relationships here because I would be DAMNED if I was labelled some pseudo-Steve Harvey, when my mind and my ambitions are a lot greater than talking about $200 dates, and how many people you have to sleep with to be considered a hoe.

Now, for those of you who don’t know, I’ve recently began writing weekly relationship pieces over at Ebony.com. My latest piece can be read HERE. I’m proud of the articles I write over there, not just because I grew up reading Ebony and not just because I see it as an important and historic staple of Black society and journalism, but more so because I feel like the articles I write now are very reflective of my growth. There’s some articles I wrote on this site 4,5, and 6 years ago that make me CRINGE because I can see how it’s total bullshit now. I’m not ashamed because I feel we ALL grow, but the difference is that writers put our minds and souls on paper so we can actually see all the ways we were immature and mentally flawed.

Anyways, the point is that I’m getting back into writing relationship articles, yet just reading the comments section and interacting with folks on Twitter, essentially reminded me of the secondary reason why I stopped writing about relationships over a year ago: hurt people angrily storming my comments, my mentions and my emails with pseudo-intellectual bullshit, looking for a fight because their pain can only be temporarily remedied by hurting someone else.

Man, I can’t even describe the amount of BULLSHIT I’ve been subjected to just for writing my opinions about love and dating. But, this is not an article to support some weak-ass, “woe is me” rant. Since I’m getting back into relationship-writing, this is to clarify to anyone (especially those that don’t know me, those who’ve never read this site before, those who’ve never listened to my podcast, and those who’ve never been to one of shows) what the hell my intentions are when I write ANYTHING about relationships.

So, here goes.

I Write To Reveal My Male Mind

I do NOT give “relationship advice.” To be frank, I’ve learned when it comes to love, most people are ASK-HOLES.

Definition-Of-An-Askhole

People read articles mostly for affirmation, not information. I used to write articles that were geared towards helping the larger community – and now I don’t give a fuck. Now I write to explain what is going on in my male mind on specific issues. I do NOT speak for all men, and I do NOT speak to all women. Please do NOT confuse me for a heart-healer or a soul-reviver. I am MY unfettered truth.

I Write To Debunk Bullshit

We now live in a world full of relationship-memes and social-media-relationship-experts with advice that can be considered spurious at best, and damaging at worst.  I’m not out here trying to sell anyone on the idea that I have the key to their best-life.

I don’t.

One of my main goals when writing an article is to, in plain language, debunk the bullshit ideologies that too many people pass off as relationship truisms. As someone who has written about relationships for over 6 years, I know the tricks, the games and the ulterior motives behind a lot of this relationship-writing, especially targeted to Black women, and I’m not here for ANY of that. I’m not going to invent some love theory that will save your entire life, but I WILL tell you why some theories are problematic as hell.

I Write For The Catharsis

As a grown-ass man, I can look back on my life and say that I’ve done a LOT of fuckery and hurt a lot of good women. The man (or rather, boy) I was then, is not the man I am today. But, I can access that immature thought process whenever I want to, which now actually has a real benefit: I can help my readers see the fully-mapped out mind of a deceptive, manipulative, selfish man-child. And that’s important because while I have outgrown that method of thinking, there’s a hell of a lot of dudes who haven’t, and they are the men out here emotionally and spiritually abusing women.

I Write To Enjoy Myself

I actually like discussing relationships. It’s fun. If anything I, or any other writer, types makes you so angry that you feel you need to assault your keyboard with an angry, hate-filled rant, like…

Then you need professional help. And I’m not saying that as a joke or an insult, I’m actually saying that you might want to consider seeing someone who you can talk to, because you have issues far more serious than any blogger can deal with over Gmail. Unfortunately seeking assistance with mental healthcare is a highly stigmatized issue in our society, but I suggest you find someone on the low and keep yourself as healthy as you possibly can.

Simply put, I’m back to writing relationship articles because I would like to share my truth. I’m not here trying to tell you what to do, because you ain’t gonna listen no damn way. I’m not here to police how women behave. I’m not here to instruct anyone on a list of rules on how to maneuver around some specific dating issue. I’m just here to reveal my own personal truth to anyone who cares to read it.

Simple.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.