The Reason Good Guys Don’t Actually Exist: The ASIDE Chick

Once upon a time, long, long ago, I used to refer to myself as a “good guy.” When I looked around at the dudes around me were  accumulating drawers full of panties and numerous bedpost notches yet simultaneously treating women like shit, I blamed these women for being clueless about hot to choose men. It wasn’t until I grew up and grew out of calling myself a “good guy” that I realized I wasn’t a better man who was offering improved treatment, I was just like the other guys, but envious of their success. While I thought I was so damn good, I was basically just jealous of the fact that I wasn’t able to use and abuse women with the same frequency as these other fools.

Written by a "good guy" who has no problem labelling women as bitches.

Meme was written by a “good guy” who apparently has no problem labelling women as bitches.

Once I came to that realization (around the same time I started this blog in 2010) whenever I found myself in a “nice guys finish last” sort of conversation, instead of focusing on the women who were allegedly addicted to bad boys, I began to critically analyze the actions of the men who were desperately clinging to the title of victim.

First, most of these “good guys” consider themselves victims because incredibly attractive women didn’t look past their apparent flaws to see the goodness of their hearts and their potential.


So he wants to date the slim waisted, cute girl in the school, but since his mawga frame and pocket-protector didn’t make her wet, apparently she’s the superficial one. 

Second, besides attractiveness, the men who call themselves “good guys” never adequately explain what compromises a “good girl” beyond her physical attractiveness.


Ok, so why was this “good guy” message, like many of its type, pasted over an image of a half naked woman taking a selfie of her abs and her ass? What makes her a good woman?

Which brings us to point three: these men aren’t interested in good women – who I call aside chicks. I call them that because they represent a large portion of women in our society who are overlooked, unconsidered and ignored. These are the women who go so unnoticed because they aren’t IG honey’s with 100k followers selling waist trainers and slimming tea. They don’t get credit for their intrinsic value because dudes are too busy praising the women with big titties and fat asses. The aside chick, is the woman that could love a good man with all of her heart and her soul, who actually doesn’t want a dude full of drama in her life but goes virtually unseen by the “bad boys” because she’s not flashy enough and unobserved by the “good guys” because she’s not sexy enough.

Take this picture for example:


The message is that the girl wants to be loved and wants to give her heart over to the guy handing her the money, but the dude with the money doesn’t want to do anything other than cause her pain and hurt. In the foreground, there lies “Mr. Good Guy” offering his heart to the woman, willing to also give her the world if she accepts it. And as the money brings the fateful potential couple together, the handles of the massive scissors also come together eventually slicing the good guy in two and killing any semblance of his intended goodness.

But, let me tell you what’s not pictured here, but very much exists in real life.

Standing off center there should be a cute young lady with understated beauty, who doesn’t have the curves or sex appeal of the girl in the picture, who has her heart in her hand extended outwards with a globe behind her back for the man willing to choose her. And, as she stands way in the back, all three characters obsessed with their material possessions should all be collectively ignoring her.

That’s the life of an aside chick.

“Good guys” love to bitch and moan about good girls rejecting them for bad boys, but most of these dudes aren’t as good as they try to appear. They are just bad dudes attempting to cloak their real selves in a mythical “good dude suit.” For all the women only interested in how much tats a dude has, how thugged out/swagged out he is, how much money he has and what kid of car he drives, there’s a ton of women who are far more interested in a dude having substantive personal qualities and an ability to treat her right. These “good dudes” would see these women a lot more clearly if they’re weren’t such superficial dickheads themselves.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.


  1. Shaun

    06/30/2016 at 10:54 AM

    Yes! So true. As an aside chick,I have seen all you wrote. These “good guys” are just as superficial as the women that don’t want them. You are a 4(personality and looks-wise) on your best day but want a dimepiece. But how?????

    The truth is we equate looking good with being good. And until we realize they’re mutually exclusive so-called good guys will always finish last and aside girls will always be aside.

  2. Tony Sunshine

    06/30/2016 at 3:13 PM

    Linc, I usually role with you brotha, but I can’t get wit you on this. What you addressed has merit, for a small percentage of dudes/people, not the masses. Furthermore, the situation is far more complex. A lot of the guys wearing the “good-guy” cloak you are referring to, got that way due to dealing with the females you’re describing. Most of the “aside” chicks you are referring to will gravitate towards the thug type cats if given a chance. You can take that to the bank. They’re no different than the dudes you are criticizing, not at heart anyways. I can’t buy what you’re selling here bruh, no way, no how.

  3. Think again!

    07/02/2016 at 1:02 PM

    Actually it has nothing to do with beauty. It more has to do with an appearance that anyone can buy. Those type of girls/guys just dress differently. Watch the movie GREESE for example. Sandy had all those lumps and bumps before she became a ‘biker chick’.
    There are tons of fresh naturally beautiful girls/guys who don’t have to put their a** out there. Who feel that they don’t want any random person checking them out like a dog sniffing up their butt/wallet! And they ARE beautiful NATURALLY. But they are being over looked because they are too this or too that. The reason? People are forced to look passed their body and see the real person. Most people want to address sex first and the person later. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t try to dress and look good. I’m saying that a lot of folks think sexy is shiny hair, tight clothes with uncomfortable shoes coupled with practiced confidence. Amongst these types some are good looking but most are average.

  4. Damon Jaafar

    08/02/2016 at 1:48 PM

    This is golden bruh keep it up.