Earlier this morning, I was talking to my homegirl from NYC and I told her that her fellow Americans better take heed of what’s going on with BREXIT. Her response: “uh, what’s Brexit?”
Well, here’s the point-by-point breakdown I gave her, just in case anyone else is wondering what’s REALLY behind BREXIT.
– In 1939 a crazy muthafucka named Hitler kicks off World War II and declares Britain as Germany’s biggest enemy.
– In 1945 Hitler holds a hard kick in his rass and World War II ends, with damn near all of Europe in shambles, regardless of whose set they were claiming.
– In 1951 the U.S., Canada, and a bunch of other nations finally say “fuck it” and officially end the war (the military industrial complex wasn’t gonna let a small detail like Hitler and Mussolini being DEAD stop them from keeping forces overseas)
– Also in 1951 after getting ran-through by Germany, France organized the Treaty of Paris designed to help this gang of mashed-up Euro nations get some financial stability. Kinda like Tyrese, Ginuwine and Tank coming together to form TGT.
– In 1957, off the momentum of the Treaty of Paris, the leaders of France, Italy, Belgium, Netherlands, Luxembourg and West Germany came together to sign the Treaty of Rome basically saying “Bruh, let’s just chill, be peaceful, make this paper and help each other out because we’re neighbours fam. Cool?”
But Great Britain basically said, “bruv, I don’t wanna be on no damn team except OUR OWN. You know how much colonies we got around the world fam?! We’re good over here bruv!”
– In 1958, this treaty basically created the European Economic Community (the EEC) where dudes said “yo we gonna trade shit with no tax between our countries, we gonna support each other and soon we gonna be caked up!”
*throws top hat in the air and starts Schmoney dancing*
– In 1963 the British Prime Minister, watching dudes hitting the Milly-Rock on every block around them, approaches the EEC and says “yo how you gonna leave mans out in the cold from the party bruv?”
To which the EEC basically says, “you must not know ’bout me, you must not know ’bout me, I can have another you in a minute, matter fact they’ll be here in a minute..”
– In 1967 the British Prime Minister tries to join the EEC AGAIN – and AGAIN the EEC says “move yuh bumboclaat”
– In 1973, the British Prime Minister says “yeah what I did was wack, but you don’t get a nigga back like that!” and the EEC agrees to finally allow the UK in – although the opposition Labour party was basically like “fuck this team-up shit!”
– In 1975 the UK holds a referendum on whether or not they should stay and the labour party gets the SHIT kicked out of them 67-33.
– In 1983, the Labour party says “vote for us and we’ll get the fuck out of this EEC shit!” – and then they’re CRUSHED by Margaret Thatcher
– In 1993 the EEC becomes the European Union (EU) to reflect the fact that they weren’t just about their paper but politics too. As the great Anthony Montana once said, “first you get the money, then you get the power..”
– Also in 1993, a group of douchebags called the Anti-Federalist league decided to rename themselves the UK Independence Party (UKIP for short) effectively deciding to take their douchey-ness to levels never seen before. Instead of just talking about Euroscepticism (opposing the EU) these cunts progressively get more and more on that right-wing populist, white supremacist shit saying that the reason crime and unemployment exists in the UK is because “immigrants” code for anyone not white or Christian, are allowed to move freely throughout the EU countries.
– September 11, 2001 Al Qaeda attacks the World Trade Center and the international war on terror takes off.
– In 2004, UKIP, doubling down on why everyone should be afraid of “immigrants” (once again, code) manages to finish in third in the elections.
– In 2005, London is bombed by Islamic terrorists, Al-Qaeda claims responsibility and native Islamophobia gets even worse.
– In 2006 a cross between Donald Trump and Ted Cruz begins leading UKIP. His name: Nigel Farage. Right wing extremism and xenophobia all combined in one dickhead.
– In 2009 UKIP, playing the “fear everyone who isn’t us” card finishes second in the elections
– In 2014, a terror group separates from Al-Qaeda and decides that they are going to start fucking everyone’s day up by forming their own group called the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or ISIS. They begin to capture the world’s attention.
– Also in 2014, UKIP finishes first place in the elections.
– In 2015, UKIP wins their first seat in Parliament and now their xenophobia actually has a seat in elected office. Soon afterwards the European Union Referendum Act 2015 is introduced.
– In 2016, as member nations have officially stopped ballin’ and schmoney dancing and hard times have hit and some of their neighbours start going bankrupt, UKIP uses two separate groups to convince their citizens that leaving the EU will benefit them socially and economically. Leave.eu is created basically as Puffy and Mase throwing money at the camera talkin’ ’bout “can’t nobody hold us downnnn” and Grassroots Out was created as the group to say “you don’t REALLY want these poor, non-white criminals taking your jobs and raping your women do you?”
And THAT’S how we got HERE today with Brexit. Fear, isolationism, racism, xenophobia, ignorance, fear mongering and scare tactics.
Oh, and just in case you were wondering – Nigel Farge is a TRUMP supporter.
Do with that what you may.