Earlier tonight I got into a REALLY heated debate with one of my good friends that left a sour taste in my mouth – for about 23 minutes, and then I kept it moving. If I was to see him again today or next week or net month, we would continue being friends like that conversation never happened. why? Because I make SURE to not have SUCKER-ASS friends around me at ANY time. In fact, most people seem to believe that I have a MILLION friends and I’m “Mr. Super-Social” because I do events, parties and like to talk to different people, but the truth is I only have a FEW close friends, because I realize how much a FROWSY friend can SUCK the joy out of a day with the greatest of ease.

A SUCKER-ASS FRIEND is a person who constantly uses you to dish ALL the weight of their DRAMA, PAIN and ANGER on, not realizing how powerful the transference of their negativity truly is. Like for example: You ever have a friend who ALWAYS tells you a story about some ol’ BS they are going through, and at the end of the tale you ended up feeling drained and emotionally invested? That’s the problem with absorbing TOO much of your SUCKER-ASS friends BS – it starts to become YOUR BS by proxy.

Now understand, I’m NOT saying there’s anything wrong with having friends who confide in you and tell you the grimy details of terrible sh*t they are going through – I mean, hell, what are friends FOR? But understand that this commentary is aimed DIRECTLY at the friends you have in your life who exist ONLY to GIVE you the sordid details of their personal life, GIVE you the dutty descriptions of their drama and GIVE you the frowsy minutia of their frowsy lives – but won’t take a DAMN THING. They GIVE you all the BS you can handle, but the second you turn around and try to unload some stuff off of your chest, they quickly brush it to the side and continue to inundate you with their mess. That’s a SUCKER-ASS friend, because they are SUCKING the life, happiness and joy out of you and not even giving you the opportunity to release your own.

And that’s why a LOT of us are walking around so damn miserable. When you are surrounded by loving, caring and intelligent friends who you can have a reciprocal-bullsh*t-exchange relationship with, you will always feel ten times more sane because for all your consoling and validating, you have someone who will do the EXACT same things for you.

And GOD FORBID you get into a dispute with a SUCKER-ASS friend because they will make DAMN-SURE to immerse and overwhelm you with THEIR feelings on how out-of-pocket you been acting, but won’t try to hear a DAMN thing you try to tell them [for some reason, SUCKER-ASS friends are almost always conveniently hearing impaired]. That combination of wilful ignorance and annoyance is enough to drive you insane – and leave your ass is a constantly frowsy mood.

Seeing as we are STILL in spring, PLEASE don’t think that spring cleaning has to solely relate to the maintenance of your homes – it can involve removing FROWSY people from your life too.

This Is Your Conscience

For those of you who DON’T know the people in the picture above, that is Bob Marley’s son Rohan and his fiancé, Brazilian model Isabeli Fontana. Also, for those who don’t know, Rohan Marley is also the father of Lauryn Hill’s 5 children and, allegedly, the dude who turned her ass crazy. Since they first met in ’96, on MANY occasions Lauryn Hill has pointedly referred to this dude as her husband [which I SWORE he was], but in fact was just her boyfriend and father of her kids [the last being born in 2008]. But with ALL of that history, Rohan has finally decided to settle down with the woman he TRULY loves – which is NOT L-Boogie – and if she is VEX about that, she has nobody to blame but HERSELF.

As I’ve perused the many comments in the blogosphere on this topic, I find it so hilarious that so many people are RIDICULOUSLY off-base on this very typical, and simple situation. Understandably, the majority of us connected to this pop culture society WANT to rally behind Lauryn because [through her music] we have a greater connection to her than Rohan, but having her back has led to people DISSING THE SH*T out of Rohan because he refused to put a ring on the woman who loved him, supported him, and provided him with 5 beautiful kids all over a 15 year span – yet is willing to put a ring on a chick he’s only been dating since October, 2011. I can’t tell you WHY he never felt it worthy to put a ring on Lauryn, but I can tell you why they were together for so long without the ring: Because SHE accepted it.

There are NO consolation prizes in a relationship. There is no ribbon for Mrs. or Mr. Congeniality. Whatever you WANT from the relationship is what you need to DECLARE at some point, as opposed to just being happy and “going with the flow” hoping things will eventually change one day and you’ll get your way. Lauryn wanted to be married to this man, he did NOT want to be married to her [hence the fact it never occurred] and her method of dealing with this disconnect was to allow him full access to her heart, mind, soul and vagina for a decade and a half. She mental, emotionally, spiritually and physically acquiesced to his lack of commitment and for that, I don’t feel sorry for her ass AT ALL.

She was not entered into a dowery or forced into a dual-cohabitance with this man against her will. Hell, in 96, sexy-ass L-Boogie could have gotten ANY damn man she wanted to.

She was beautiful, intelligent, sexy, classy, rugged, talented, sophisticated, street-smart, edgy, self-concious, socially aware and had dreads nuff dreads wish they could grab a firm hold of when getting it in with her. I mean, how many dudes could resist a woman that could go to a hip-hop festival and out-rap 98% of the men there, and then go to a fashion week show and look more beautiful in the clothes coming down the runway than 98% of the women in there. But alas, she CHOSE Rohan – and then subsequently CHOSE to stay in the relationship with him, that never was what she TRULY wanted.

Ladies & Gentlemen, it’s this simple: In a relationship you don’t get what you GIVE, you get what you ACCEPT. As much as she GAVE husband treatment, she never RECEIVED they wifey treatment she so desired, because she never made that an unflinching and unapologetic REQUIREMENT. So if you want to go ahead and demonize Rohan go right ahead, but ponder this, if HE got what HE wanted out of the relationship with Lauryn [her doing the most WITHOUT a ring], then WHY isn’t he getting that out of Isabeli now? Maybe – just maybe – she let him know HER non-negotiables and gave HIM a choice: Accept it or BOUNCE.

This Is Your Conscience

So now that the first round is over, let me continue my thoughts on the playoffs so far.

Celtics v 76ers

This series never really caused me to have a sense of urgency in wanting to watch, but I have because I love basketball so much. Honestly I have the Celtics winning in 6 games . The 76ers were able to win a game in Boston, but for some reason the Celtics seem to think that the 76ers will lay down and lose. They played with no sense of urgency until the end of the game, but it was too little too late. With Avery injured I expect Ray to slide back into the starting position, too bad because Avery has been great for the Celtics.

Lakers v Thunder

I’m a Kobe fan, but Ron Artest/Metta World Peace makes it hard for me to even think about the Lakers. Dude just doesn’t get it, talking noise when you were wrong for landing a nasty elbow to Harden’s head. He doesn’t shake hands with substitutes, but truth be told Artest has been playing like a bench player disguised as a starter for years now. Anyways, Thunder in 6…book it.

Spurs v Clippers

Honestly while the Grizzlies after game one didn’t deserve to win that series neither did the Clippers, but one team had to advance and it was them. I don’t know the true nature of the health of Blake and CP3, but it doesn’t matter at this point. Expect lots of flopping on both sides, I swear CP3 and Blake didn’t flop and whine as much until this season.When you step on the court you are considered good enough to be out there playing, so no excuses for the Clippers losing in 5 games.

Heat v Pacers

With Bosh out indefinitely the Heat will still win this series and Bosh will be back in either the next round or at least in time for the finals. Let’s be real Stern won’t let the Heat not make it to the finals. While this game is entertainment for us, it is a business for them so never confuse that fact. The Heat are the better team which isn’t saying much because their bench is trash, but Lebron and Wade are so good that their production is equivalent to 4 or 5 average players. The Pacers are good, but they need to be great and they aren’t. Danny Granger is a good player, but he isn’t a top 10 player and if he is their best player then I feel for them. They just aren’t good enough to beat the Heat. Heat will win the series in 5…and you’re welcome.

Side-note:

- Should the Grizzlies trade Rudy Gay? I feel they should shop him around, his game doesn’t fit their style of basketball that makes the Grizzlies a successful team.

- Congrats to LeBron winning his 3rd MVP award (I wanted KD to win) but LeBron was very deserving of the award so no biggie with him winning. Who the heck gave Joe Johnson 1 vote in the MVP race, seriously? That has to be a joke just like the Hawks, did I say that?

- Kyrie Irving winning the ROY award was fitting, especially considering how bad the Cavs are. I watched them live and witnessed how good this young player is and he can only get better.

- The Nuggets, if they can stay healthy next season, will be a problem. Javale McGee needs to spend the summer with Hakeem Olajuwon to work on his post game, because he has talent despite his lack of basketball IQ. Maybe he could gain his mom’s game face also, but seriously if he improves along with the team staying healthy plus Ty Lawson beasting they will a problem.

- The Hawks need to break this team up and honestly keep Joe because you don’t have a choice contract wise along with Al and Jeff, but everyone else should be on the trading block especially Marvin (bordline bum status). Good luck this offseason Hawks!

- Melo was way too calm with mediocrity and honestly things won’t get better for the Knicks. Their cap room ceases to exist and with the heavy contracts of Melo, Tyson adn mainly Amare they won’t be able to afford to bring in anyone else. Steve Nash would be great for the 2-3 season he has left, because we know Amare got that big contract thanks to Nash. Melo had his best season and made it out the first round with a great pg, so they need to look into that. 30 points on 31 shots isn’t going to cut it, that is ridiculous honestly. 30 points on that many shots isn’t efficient at all and takes away from other players productivity. Also please don’t bring back JR “I jack up bad shots but I don’t care” Smith, don’t do it! Jeremy Lin won’t be the answer, now whether he should’ve have played is questionable but understood since he is in need of another big contract. The Knicks need a total make over, seriously. RIP to Baron Davis’ career, he knee was shredded to pieces making me think there is some curse on the team itself. It was nice while it lasted.

Let me ask you (Yes, YOU) a serious question: What do you think attracted your past and current significant other(s) to you? Seriously, think back to when you both met as two single adults and decided to start seeing each other, which eventually grew into being in a relationship – what was it about YOU that this person found incredibly attractive and led them to exploring the depths of your mental, emotional and physical beings? Well, let me give you a hint – it had NOTHING to do with how great of a “partner” you were.

Now a lot of you may find that statement extremely confusing because as far as YOU are concerned, the reason someone goes from being interested in you to liking you is based directly on the things YOU consciously do to and for THEM – and that’s not really what it is. As much as people are grateful for good treatment and as much as that is necessary to foster a healthy relationship, the reality is this: The reason that person liked you is because you appeared AMAZING in your own right. And that’s a CRUCIAL point to remember because ‘Independent’ you will ALWAYS need to live while in a SUCCESSFUL relationship and keeping ‘Independent’ you healthy is a critical part of being successful in ALL aspects of your life before, during and after your relationship.

Now when I say ‘Independent’ please don’t think I mean that angry-embittered independence that makes bitter chicks yell out BS like “I can do bad all by my gotdamn self!” and makes heartbroken dudes cry out “money over b*tches!” What I’m talking about is maintaining the mental mind state that gives you BALANCE and FOCUS in all aspects of your life.

Ladies, you remember that bad chick that use to hustle at work all day, manage her crazy-ass friends and family during the evenings, and still look sexy and fly at night – yeah, that was you BEFORE you decided to pour every ounce of your being into a man. And dudes, you remember that fella who use to hit the weights every AM, work hard all day and play hard all weekend – you know, that ninja you USE to be before you got out the hand cuffs and attached yourself to her hip 24/7.

The problem with people who lose themselves in relationships is the fact that they believe they need to create a misbalance of attention towards their relationship because relationships are so tough and therefore require as much focus as possible. This ideology is slightly true but more FALSE than anything else. Yes relationships ARE difficult and DO require a good amount of attention, but when you start subtracting focus from other IMPORTANT aspects your life, then you start to become an unbalanced person – and that’s NOT who your significant other fell in love with in the first damn place.

"I gave up my hopes and dreams for you B*TCH!"

And that’s the funny catch-22 about people who over-invest themselves into a relationship – they do it to get closer to their partner and end up just driving them away because their significant other lost the attraction to their independent self. As much as nobody wants someone who will neglect them or not pay them enough attention, NOBODY wants someone who is so up-under them that you wonder if they have a life of their own to maintain anymore. Don’t get mad I’m going out Saturday night with my friends – go chill with YOUR friends Saturday night too. Don’t always ask me what I WANT – tell me what you are WORKING towards.

Joe Budden said it best:

“No third party will ruin our plan/
I hate for you to be the girl who’s too consumed with her man/
So I want you to have your own plans/
You to have your own ends/
You to have your own life/
You to have your own friends/
And I’ll be right beside you…”

If there’s one thing I know most of you are aware of from first hand experience [hell, I'm aware from first hand experience too] is that losing yourself in a relationship that ENDS is one of the LONELIEST feelings in the world. Not only do you feel abandoned by the one you use to love, but you don’t even have YOURSELF to fall back on because you became so accustom to “WE” and “US”, you forgot what it was like to do for you, yourself and I.

Now I’m NOT stating that people should go into a relationship with a defeatist attitude, but all I AM saying is that you DON’T need to immerse yourself so deeply into your relationship that you LOSE yourself.

This Is Your Conscience

Fact: Her parent or legal guardian is RATCHET - so why even argue?!

Everyday on my Facebook Fan Page I like to entertain my fans with random pictures I find all over the internet. Some are hilarious, some are insightful, some are beautiful, some are grotesque and A LOT of them are of straight-up, deep-fried RATCHETNESS. I have posted pictures of everything from women with zip-on lace-fronts, to dudes posing with their baby in one hand and a nine millie in the other. As much as I am willing to slightly entertain the ideology that ratchetness can be somewhat subjective, the reality is that A LOT of it is NOT – and any person with common sense and self respect can typically point out ratchetness - except the RATCHET WHISPERERS.

A Ratchet Whisperer is a person who can witness completely, ridiculously ratchet behaviour being done, and their initial reaction to it is to try and cogently and logically defend the behaviour or come up with a solid rationale as to WHY that behaviour is taking place. Worse of all, they will ATTACK whoever labels the behaviour ratchet and then hop on their “you without sin, cast the first stone” pedestal in a SORRY-ASS attempt to recognize the behaviour as common and subsequently normal.

Ratchet Whisperer’s, please go F*^K your collective selves.

There is some sh*t that is so hideous and wrong and absent of self-respect that our goal as a society should be to try and help them or [if they don't want it, which most DON'T] laugh right the F*^K at them.

For Example:

This tattoo is RATCHETNESS personified:

Permanently marking your body with two women sucking d*ck, styled as a butterfly is CLASSLESS and, unless this chick is a pr0n star, will most likely not have ANY positive repercussions in her lifetime. Am I judging? HELL NAW. Am I gonna try to help her? HELL NAW, because I bet she loves that tattoo and doesn’t want to hear anything I have to say. So in turn I recognize she is RATCHET, laugh my ass off at her FAIL and keep it moving.

BUT, the Rachet Whisperer can’t have that. They need to talk about how the true beauty of the tattoo is going right over our heads, and then finish their ignorant rant screaming YOLO.

And once third, innocent parties get involved it becomes even WORSE, like THESE for example:

Any person with common sense will look at these pictures like “wow, that’s actually kinda F*^KED up – that child is being raised by DUMBASSES.”

But what does a Rachet Whisperer see?!

Picture 1: “The little girl doesn’t know what it means so it’s cool…OH LIKE YOU HAVEN’T DRESSED YOUR CHILD UP IN CLOTHES WITH GROWN-ASS MESSAGES ON IT?! He who ain’t got a damn sin, better dash that damn rock!”

Picture 2: “How y’all know the money wasn’t just gifts from the Godparents?! CHILDREN CAN’T POSE WITH SOME DOLLAR BILLS IN THE CRIB?! They who ain’t finna sin this year, go’ head with them damn stones!”

Picture 3: “How y’all know she ain’t just posing showing her after-baby body?! So what if she’s in black lace boy panties, A WOMAN CAN’T POSE IN FRONT OF HER OWN DAMN MIRROR ANYMORE?! Unno tuh bloodclaat badmind so gwan fling yuh raatid stones dem!”

Look, here’s the biggest problem with being a ratchet whisperer: The fact that you feel the NEED to defend people CLEARLY doing f*^kery just proves YOU are the most RATCHET of them all.

This Is Your Conscience

"This nigga tried 450 positions and couldn't master ONE!"

Now I’m NOT a woman so I can’t speak from their perspective, but what I CAN do is relay the messages THEY send to me, to y’all dudes out there. And today’s message is this: If you want to ensure a woman does NOT cum as hard and as often as she should, make sure you beat up the nani in 14 different positions in 7 minutes. I can almost guarantee you the wet vagina that was flowing all over your fingers, face and richard, ends up drier than the back of Wesley Snipes neck in Disappearing Acts.

Women who are in-touch with their orgasmic-selves and know exactly what they like, HATE when a dude comes along trying to twist her in every which-a-damn-way without letting her get comfortable and enjoy the stroke of each and every position you decide to use. In fact, women who know what they like, typically don’t even need a lot of positions AT ALL [unless it's marathon sex], just several amazing ones with slight variations on each. For example:

Dude starts giving her backshots [position 1] while her ass is cocked up in the air and her hips and stomach are supported by a couple soft pillows, and then he removes the pillows so she is laying flat on her stomach and he grabs her hips and starts hitting it like that [variation 1.1]. Then he turns her onto her side [while still inside of her] and starts hitting it like that [position 2[ until he decides to lift her one leg in the air and starts hitting it like that [variation 2.1].And it goes on.

The point is, flowing from each position and variation of that position in a natural, organic and sexy-ass way is what women want. To be honest, most people who have AMAZING, squirtastic sex don’t ever really realize how much positions they used, because they were so lost in lust and pleasuring each other, that the technical aspects of what was doing what on who for how long becomes unimportant. And this is the MAJOR problem women have with dudes who use too many positions in a short amount of time: It seems forced, staged and over thought.

I have boys who STILL brag about smashing a girl in 24 positions in 9 minutes and they talk about switching from one position to the next in a way that lets me know it’s far too mental and not nearly instinctual enough. It’s like dude just determined “OK at the 1:43 mark I’mma hit it doggystyle until the 3:12 mark when I’m gonna hit her with the wheelbarrow – until the 5:45 mark when I hit her with the Osama [that's when dude jumps through the door and busts in her face without warning].” That instinctive physical disconnect leads to passionless and BORING sex.

Bruh, let her warm up to the full pleasure-potential of EVERY position before your happy-to-be-in-new-nani ass just decides to switch it up all willy-nilly. Some women can cum hard as HELL just from one position or two positions, but just like women who may want 12 and 13 positions, they all desire to feel the FULL effect of your richard hitting the right spots inside of her before the new position is introduced.

Please remember that the next time you decide to try out the entire Kama Sutra on a chick during Chris Brown’s “Strip”. You doing the most, bruh – and it ain’t working out.

This Is Your Conscience

"Clearly...this h0e don't know I'm CRAZY..."

I have a homegirl who presented me with a HILARIOUS situation that I have heard NUMEROUS women in the dating scene complain about. She is seeing a guy who she really likes and has a great connection with – BUT he has NOT given her a firm answer on whether or not he’s sees them moving from just “seeing” each other, into a much more serious circumstance like a committed relationship. Because of this, she has decided to take up another man on his offer to take her out on a date, which was going great – until she ended up running into the first dude DURING the date.

Basically, she was leaving the restaurant with the new guy and they were waiting for a cab, when ol’ dude popped up around the corner with his boys, and they ran right the hell into each other. When he made eye-contact with her, she could tell he was surprised, shocked and a little hurt, but sh*t REALLY hit the fan when she got home and he called her – and proceeding to CUSS her ass out.

Dude basically called a h0e and said that she broke his trust and that her b*tch-ass should’ve let him know what was good before she started dating other dudes, so he could date other woman in turn. She called me up confused as hell about this situation and even asked me for my advice on whether or not she was wrong for accepting the date with the new guy. My response:

“Hell-F*^KING-No.”

My homegirl was not in the wrong at ALL, and any other woman going through a situation anything similar to this is NOT wrong for moving on with her life, even IF she did NOT inform him that she is doing so. The reality of the situation is simply this: When a man really wants a woman, he has NO hesitation in admitting that SHE is who he wants, and putting her at the top of his list of dating-priorities. If a man is unwilling to do that, he simply has not decided that he wants her to be #1 – and that’s usually because he either is courting someone “better” or he’s waiting for someone “better.”

The reason men use non-committal strategies to keep women in casual relationships, is because most men are looking for the perfect balance of “relationship benefits” and “playa benefits” without having to give ANY kind of actual commitment. Basically, he wants to have a woman tend to his needs in an atypical girlfriend-fashion, but still be able to go to the club and beat up random nani WITHOUT being labelled a cheater [since there's no official relationship in place]. But the one funny expectation men have of this scenario is that he EXPECTS his pseudo-girlfriend to be LOYAL to him - or else she’s a cheating scallywag [even though there's no official relationship in place].

And this is one common messed-up male mentality that most dudes have, but will NEVER say in public. For example, most men think the idea of an open-relationship isn’t such a horrible idea – until the lightening-rod hits them that an open relationship ALSO gives HIS woman carte blanche to be penetrated by some random dude.

But here’s the point ladies: Once a dude FAILS to give you a solid commitment, that’s just his way of letting you know that you are a restricted-free agent. He still aligns himself with you, but he’s not offering you an extension on your contract, so if a better team is offering you a better deal, move forward with the better option and NEVER look back or feel guilty for ONE second.

This Is Your Conscience

Ladies & Gentlemen, this is IT – the recording of my FIRST ever podcast – and I was nervous as all hell [I'm pretty sure my voice cracked more than twenty times]. But all in all I had a real fun time recording it and I even ending up SINGING midway through it – HORRIBLY.

So listen and let me know what y’all think and let me know the good, the bad and the ugly because I’m trying HARD to improve it week by week.

Also, this week I was NOT able to connect with the beautiful Christina White from Christinawrotethat.com but look out for the segment “This Is HER Conscience” coming VERY soon.

Happy Mother Day to each and every one of you listening and I appreciate you rocking with me.

This Is Your Conscience

Yesterday, for the first time, I got to get a glimpse of the upcoming Time magazine cover that has got the internet [and the world at large] going nuts. The picture above shows a woman breastfeeding her 4 year old son and has caused a big stir because (A) many women find the title of the article offensive, (B) because the issue of attachment parenting is extremely divisive and finally (C) because there are “t*tties being sucked” on the cover of Time magazine. Issue C has ben really confusing and frustrating for all sides of the debate because some call it nursing and others are calling it Kiddie pr0n, which brings me to today’s question for women: “How would you like your breasts [hell, ALL breasts] to be viewed in our modern western society?”

Some of y’all may think that’s a ridiculous question, but you are simply NOT thinking about it DEEP enough. Many people who were offended by this cover think it’s wrong to use this real mother’s breasts as a calculated marketing effort to sell magazines [sexualizing a natural maternal bonding experience] while other people who were fine with the cover felt like the people who didn’t like it were regressive-thinking troglodytes without any capacity for seeing the natural beauty in breastfeeding. The problem I have with the latter set of people is their self-righteous indignation and lack of respect for our society’s intrinsic socialization. Basically, they need to stop acting like there’s such a thing as “regressive-thought” towards how we respond to breasts as a society – the fact is we are CONFUSED as a society because the message keeps changing.

Growing up, I was taught a very simple equation by my parents, teachers, the authorities and media: T*tties = Sexual Body Parts = Indecent outside of the bedroom. This was underscored by a confusing ass equation on cleavage, which was: Cleavage = Glimpse Of Sexual Body Parts = Decent outside of the bedroom [until the areola or nipple starts to show]. This is how MOST of us were raised to view naked female breasts. You are not suppose to STARE at them, TOUCH them, ADMIRE them, MOTORBOAT them, HI-FIVE them, FREESTYLE to them or SERENADE them – UNLESS you’re in the privacy of your bedroom with a consenting woman.

This was reinforced by the whole Janet Jackson fiasco. One brown nipple made its way onto National TV and the entire country had to consider shutting the Super Bowl down to oppose such “VILE atrocities”. Ok, so t*tties have no place in decent society – we get it – cool.

But then a game changer came along: The proliferation and social acceptance of public breastfeeding.

Now, all of a sudden, women began to demand that their breasts be allowed to be viewable in public as they are just a natural part of providing their children with food superior to formula – and society has slowly but surely acquiesced [which is a GOOD thing]. Yet, we still live in a society hyper sensitive to the exposure of the breast because of it’s sexual inclinations that WE as a culture gave it. Let me put it like this: As much as we try to enforce one ideology that breasts are merely instruments of nourishment, we also WON’T show Dora exploring her mother’s breast for breakfast in her show or the entire Cartoon network would be shut down.

So what are breasts and how should they be viewed? Do they become asexual body parts AFTER a woman has had a child? Are they only asexual when a child is around them? Should wet T-shirt contests in Cancun be seen as exploitive acts of sexuality or merely praising their potential motherly feeding abilities? You can think it’s as ridiculous as you want, but I CHALLENGE you to create an all-encompassing ideology that we as a society can use to view breasts as a whole, from breastfeeding to cleavage to sun-tanning on a beach to a female soccer player ripping her shirt off to expose a SPORTS BRA after a goal at the World Cup. In fact, I DARE you.

Is THIS over-sexualization? What if she's holding a baby, does it become fine then?

The point here is that sexualizing breasts is NOT regressive-thinking, it’s just the effects of being continually inundated by our society’s view of sexual ideology. And it’s THAT ideology that is currently stuck in attempting to devise a new equation to teach this generation and the next about breasts.

So I pose the question to Y’ALL today ladies: How should society view breasts on a WHOLE? [not just a couple specific circumstances]

On many occasions I have been forced to remind people of one simple fact: When it comes to getting it in, you DON’T deserve a gold star just for TRYING – as grown-ass people, if you ain’t giving me the full-hundred, don’t waste my time by giving it up half-assed (pun-intended).

And I want to make it VERY clear that this is not a rant based at just one particular sex, because men and women alike both have the ability to turn a potentially squirt-tastic time into sex dryer than Devo Brown’s jokes.

Ladies, men ain’t giving you props JUST for sucking richard nowadays – it’s time to EXCEL.
- I don’t want cold, chapped lips scarring my sensitive foreskin-tissue with your abrasive-ass. INSTEAD..

..Please tease it with your tongue and gently flick the head firmly with your soft tongue and make it jump just by the touch of your breath. Tongue-kiss my richard deep and passionately and take it all the way in your mouth and slowly let it out and make sure it’s wet as hell. THEN you can put your moisturized hands on it and slowly massage it with both hands (nothing WORST than dry hands on an erection – keep your sandpaper palms to yourself please and thank you). Don’t bore me with sucking it the same way either, sometimes you gotta lick the entire shaft and when you get to the bottom, please don’t neglect the balls (PLEASE). Spit or Swallow is up to you just as long as you beg me for it and tell me where you want it and how much you NEED to taste it.

Ladies, men ain’t just gonna give you PROPS, JUST if your nani is tight and wet nowadays – it’s time to DOMINATE.
- I don’t want a girl laying on the bed like a chalk outline in CSI: Miami. Instead..

..Get on top and control my richard and let every inch slide in and out of you and hit you deep in every wall with firm and controlled waist-whining. Let me pick you up and while I knock it down standing up, grab me tight around the neck with both arms and throw your pussy back on me until it gets so good we have to lie back down before I drop you faster than Jay-Z dropped Rell. Even when I’m beating it down in missionary, grip my shoulders and kiss me on collar bone and tell me how deep it’s in – there’s no time to be quiet now – I wanna hear you TELL ME how hard you’re coming.

And Dudes, don’t think you don’t need to step up YOUR games.

Men, Ladies aren’t giving you a golf-clap for giving head anymore – either be PROFICIENT or don’t even waste her time.

- She doesn’t want a guy with Tiger Woods teeth giving her a hysterectomy. Instead..

She wants someone who’s firm but not in a hurry, who can make her anticipate the initial touch of your tongue because you started at her collar bone, traced your tongue over her breasts, down her stomach, from hip-to-hip and finally, when she’s aching, you give her a long slow lick up-and-down, just barely touching her clit while she starts to drip like Project faucets…Or so I hear since ‘Real Rudebwoy’s Nuh-Inna Dem Tings Deh.’ (The stance all Black Males of West Indian Heritage must publicly take).

And when it comes to putting it in, take your time and make her feel every inch right down to her cervix and make sure you don’t just try to jackrabbit the nani to death, but stroke it hard and slow to start and let her savour the richard, but more importantly stroke it firm and steady because you want to find that spot – the spot that will make a tsunami all over the bed sheets if you hit just right, enough times – she will let you know when you hit it and you need to use all the muscle memory in your body to not only remember where it is, but formulate a plan of attack on how you are going to beat the brakes off her nani by killing that spot. Ladies want you to listen – not just to what she’s saying – but the non-verbal communication that her nani moans to you when you get it just right.

In the end, the best sex always seems to be the sex where both parties (or three, four, etc.) are all intensely focused on not just getting their own nut, but making sure they help DELIVER great nuts too – and that can only occur when you stop begrudgingly performing sex acts, and just MAN-UP/WOMAN-UP and put some damn elbow grease in it.

This Is Your Conscience